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Coffee & Grit 8. Rest & Reflection


 

Today Lindsey and Jon discuss the power of protecting time to rest and reflect.


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00;00;00;05 - 00;00;04;23

Lindsey

Hello and welcome to Coffee & Grit. We are both here today. We are.


00;00;05;09 - 00;00;06;17

Jon

How are you doing? Well?


00;00;07;23 - 00;00;09;01

Lindsey

It's a bit chilly recently.


00;00;09;17 - 00;00;10;18

Jon

It's been a rollercoaster.


00;00;10;26 - 00;00;23;25

Lindsey

I know I always talk about the weather, but it's probably because I'm always cold. Maybe some day in the winter, in the winter, in the summer you'll will hear me say I'm finally warm. I know you're looking at me with like blank.


00;00;24;00 - 00;00;25;28

Jon

It's unlikely I'm not going to hold my breath.


00;00;25;29 - 00;00;40;13

Lindsey

You know, it's fair and I wear a sweatshirt in the middle of winter and while the middle of summer too. Mm yeah. Speaking of being warm today, I wanted to talk about rest. For me, that means I get to stay warm.


00;00;40;20 - 00;01;03;22

Lindsey

So for the most part, but I really feel like our family. We've not perfected it yet, so it's for sure still a journey that we're trying to find how we want to do this, I guess, but we at least take one day a week or a whole afternoon.


00;01;04;03 - 00;01;22;03

Lindsey

We call it family day or rest day, and most of the time it's an electronics free day for us, which has been really nice. And for the boys as well, it's been really nice. I feel recharged and rejuvenated after that type of time.


00;01;23;27 - 00;01;53;06

Lindsey

And I think that it's really important to stay focused on how can you stay grounded, how can you stay level headed? Specifically going into more of holiday seasons, I think that it's hard to. Not get caught up in a lot of the chaos of of Christmas and New Year's and Thanksgiving because it's a great time to get


00;01;53;06 - 00;02;08;07

Lindsey

to see family and friends and, you know, celebrate certain holidays and cheerfulness and the season of hope, in a sense. But I think it's also really easy to go from one thing to the other without thinking about resting.


00;02;11;21 - 00;02;35;12

Jon

Yeah. The schedule fills up real quick, right? I think right now we're we're coming into a stage of kind of catching our breath. We've traveled, we've had family situations, health situations, job situations, all sorts of just wildness, great, you know, community time with friends in the area and the weekends filled up and or we were traveling or


00;02;35;12 - 00;02;50;11

Jon

we had things to do. So we kind of strung together a handful we can, which we haven't had any deliberate disconnecting, just kind of a sterling and allowing of things to settle until this last weekend. And even then, it was a partial day.


00;02;50;25 - 00;03;04;21

Jon

Hmm. But it was a good that partial day was rejuvenating and we realized, Oh, we've gone out of balance and we need to be more deliberate in pursuing and establishing this. It's really been a journey for us, I think.


00;03;05;07 - 00;03;22;11

Lindsey

Absolutely. And I think it's really started since you left the military that we were like, How do we create rest in our family? Because I mean, you and I are very active and then the boys are very active.


00;03;22;25 - 00;03;46;13

Lindsey

So it doesn't necessarily mean sit on the couch and do nothing or sit and read or have them play quietly or. And I think rest can look different for everybody. Sometimes we'll go out for a family hike and just I think it's more pushing inward into each other and trying to do things together than it is, even


00;03;46;13 - 00;03;58;03

Lindsey

necessarily just like lying around and sleeping because that's not, you know, the type of rest that I was even thinking about. But I wanted to make sure that we, you know, spoke about that to you.


00;03;58;12 - 00;04;12;24

Jon

I really think it's more of be present, right? Because what what happened when we left the military? I was on call on the weekends for my job and not as part of the job, but I was also rebellious from that acquirement calm.


00;04;13;09 - 00;04;22;14

Jon

I'm a civil now. I should be on call, I should have my weekends and it was just part of the position. So I was like, Sundays, don't call me rare, and that kind of kicked that off for us.


00;04;22;16 - 00;04;39;21

Jon

And then over time, you know, putting the TV away, except for when we're deliberately having family stuff, which has been hard last few weeks with the kiddos being sick and stuff. But, you know, removing the tele, removing the phones, putting them on airplane mode, removing those detractors.


00;04;40;17 - 00;04;56;04

Jon

I really think what it's done is allowed us to be present because like you said, we may go out and put up some fencing or turn. The animals are gone in adventure. We could do anything we do typically, but it feels restful just from us being more present in with one another.


00;04;56;11 - 00;05;10;20

Jon

Right? And you are the only ones with phones, but just by us, like removing just having the knowledge that they're off has been suffering for us, just not having the screen visible of the TV in the house. You know, you couple those two things together.


00;05;10;20 - 00;05;26;24

Jon

You turn off the Wi-Fi router and stuff and you just feel the stillness of someone has to drive up to get us right. And I and I do think that allows you, even if it's just on a subconscious level, a difference to take place that.


00;05;28;09 - 00;05;37;05

Jon

You feel all the more in the holiday seasons when everything's frantically filled with fun things or tragedy or both. Mm-Hmm.


00;05;38;13 - 00;05;53;22

Lindsey

Yeah, and that's been a lot of what we've walked through recently. one of my favorite things that I've done just this last weekend, speaking of rest, I sat and read a book to the boys, so all of them were curled up with me on the couch and I was reading to them.


00;05;54;02 - 00;06;08;15

Lindsey

And this book is about Armstrong landing on the Moon, but it was a fun take because it's about a mouse's journey. And basically, like he started the the idea of how to get man on the Moon. And it's really cute.


00;06;08;15 - 00;06;30;08

Lindsey

It's a very sweet book, but it sparked the idea for the boys to create their own rockets. And I thought that that was really cool because allowing that space and intentionality to one, just sit and read a book, but you get to be with them and connect with them through reading the book.


00;06;30;08 - 00;06;51;26

Lindsey

Then it drove them to want to do something that they saw was productive and fun, and I kept them entertained for quite some time. But it was just really interesting and really intriguing and fun for me to watch them discover and develop that and then go, Hey, I want to try that to you.


00;06;52;06 - 00;07;17;23

Lindsey

I thought that was really cool, and I think that when you take the time to watch not even just your kids, but your partner or even yourself, and you allow for this space of rest, then you do get to be able to intentionally do something or intentionally create or realize, Hey, this is something that is needing to


00;07;17;23 - 00;07;23;12

Lindsey

be changed within me. And now I have the time and the headspace to be able to go forwards and do that.


00;07;25;25 - 00;07;39;16

Jon

You know, what's jumping into my mind is just the continued correlation of like you realize from slowing down the opportunities you're missing right in front of you in the day to day. And I do think rest is the exact right thought.


00;07;39;23 - 00;07;55;24

Jon

I do agree with that. But the key I'm getting of like, what? What is the most restful thing we do? It's really what we what we do is put a boundary up. But really, what we're doing is removing something or it's what we're not doing.


00;07;56;00 - 00;08;15;17

Jon

We're not sitting in front of our phones to computers or the TVs. And so we're sitting in front of each other and figuring out. What we want to do. We're having these observations and that reflection and things like that, and it's kind of that direct correlation of putting up the boundary of protecting our time as a family


00;08;16;07 - 00;08;37;07

Jon

and slowing down in doing so because there's not things to just returning. Kick things forward. Right? Which kind of brings it into like the applicability, you know, I'm going to be way more specific this weekend on protecting that time for us by leaving my phone and everything up in the office with it all turned off so that


00;08;37;07 - 00;08;43;24

Jon

we can have that time. Britannia in this season, we do have to rest.


00;08;43;27 - 00;08;57;12

Lindsey

I also think it's really interesting because the way that you said it, I thought of rest and reflection. So it allows your brain to kind of catch up with all of the things you've been learning and doing that like through the last week.


00;08;57;13 - 00;09;18;16

Lindsey

And then you when you pause and you take the time to sit and be intentional and rest, then you can reflect upon the season that you're in, the week that you've just had. And I think it allows for your brain to slow down just enough to be able to start to have that forward movement.


00;09;18;25 - 00;09;20;26

Lindsey

And I think that that's really important as well.

 

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