Image by asoggetti

The Grit Theory

Search

9. Bison Strong _ Lessons from the American Buffalo _ Part 3

Updated: Nov 15, 2021


 

Today we discuss "Embrace Your Inner Bison and Run Toward the Storm" an article written by Aaron Barrette that explores the more dangerous yet hearty and free Bison compared to the placid, domesticated cow and the implications of studying these two animals as metaphors for how we can embrace life. Highlights include: - The Pain Paradox - Dangerous Freedom vs. Comfortable Security - Building Resilience - Crafting plans to respond to life's "storms" - The importance of your community - The value of pushing into your problems Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

Join The Grit Theory Community Here!

 

09;22;05;19 - 09;21;57;20

Jon & Aaron

You're hanging out. That's scary. Yeah, right. That can be true of circumstances that you've taken for granted or. That's scary. What are the implications once you own that?


09;21;57;05 - 09;21;54;25

Jon & Aaron

Exactly. You know, it makes it a lot.


09;21;54;25 - 09;21;52;13

Jon & Aaron

Easier to make the next decision on what you're going to do about it.


09;21;51;28 - 09;21;49;06

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, but it's also scary because if you're bound up in.


09;21;49;06 - 09;21;46;15

Jon & Aaron

Something and you know, it's bad and.


09;21;45;15 - 09;21;44;20

Jon & Aaron

You justify.


09;21;44;20 - 09;21;43;22

Jon & Aaron

It or you're.


09;21;43;22 - 09;21;42;12

Jon & Aaron

Like, yeah, I know it's bad, but you don't.


09;21;42;04 - 09;21;39;27

Jon & Aaron

Acknowledge what that means. Right?


09;21;39;06 - 09;21;35;14

Jon & Aaron

If something's bad, you ought to stop it if it's not good.


09;21;35;05 - 09;21;32;05

Jon & Aaron

You ought to change the circumstances you to work for a.


09;21;32;04 - 09;21;30;27

Jon & Aaron

Solution to make it.


09;21;30;27 - 09;21;29;27

Jon & Aaron

Better. You're right.


09;21;29;16 - 09;21;26;17

Jon & Aaron

And. I love what you said, you have to own.


09;21;26;17 - 09;21;22;14

Jon & Aaron

That it's not good, that is such a crazy thought, though, and I do think it's pretty countercultural.


09;21;21;27 - 09;21;21;03

Jon & Aaron

Because what if that.


09;21;21;03 - 09;21;04;24

Jon & Aaron

Means you need to find a new job? Or what if that means you need to stop dating someone or you need to limit your time spent with a friend you've had for a while because you're not good for each other despite enjoying each other's company, you know, or you stop some personally like that realization.


09;21;04;20 - 09;21;02;10

Jon & Aaron

How much easier is it just to live in denial and think.


09;21;02;10 - 09;21;00;24

Jon & Aaron

Oh, this is how it is or.


09;21;00;14 - 09;20;55;07

Jon & Aaron

This problem will pass or this is someone else's problem, not mine. You know, it's wild.


09;20;55;07 - 09;20;40;21

Jon & Aaron

When you take like this kind of you give yourself your own kind of physical. Yeah, and go, All right, that we can happen. How do I feel? Spiritually, physically, yeah. How did that.


09;20;40;11 - 09;20;38;18

Jon & Aaron

Help? The goals I set for.


09;20;38;18 - 09;20;36;20

Jon & Aaron

Myself for that help it or in the hurt it.


09;20;35;20 - 09;20;33;18

Jon & Aaron

This is a you in the mirror conversation.


09;20;33;15 - 09;20;33;01

Jon & Aaron

It is.


09;20;32;29 - 09;20;30;18

Jon & Aaron

Right, it's not a it's not you.


09;20;30;18 - 09;20;25;20

Jon & Aaron

Having to pander to a crowd. It's like, what do you want? I mean, look in the mirror right now and go.


09;20;25;04 - 09;20;22;04

Jon & Aaron

Is this are these decisions.


09;20;22;04 - 09;20;17;10

Jon & Aaron

Helping me right now in life? Yeah. Am I even making my own store.


09;20;16;24 - 09;20;14;15

Jon & Aaron

That I need to push out.


09;20;14;15 - 09;20;11;04

Jon & Aaron

Of this? And they ask the hard questions, make the hard decisions so I.


09;20;11;04 - 09;20;06;09

Jon & Aaron

Can get through this? Really not good. Got a good season.


09;20;05;19 - 09;19;53;21

Jon & Aaron

Faster one's personal before it's relational. Like, how can I lead my family if I haven't screwed myself up? You know, like my wife is in trouble if she's relying on me for anything.


09;19;53;07 - 09;19;46;07

Jon & Aaron

Anything, and I'm a mess. She's in trouble, right? I can't, and I can't help her out of a situation.


09;19;46;07 - 09;19;44;22

Jon & Aaron

She's working in, if I'm honest.


09;19;44;06 - 09;19;42;08

Jon & Aaron

So it's like, I just love what you say.


09;19;42;07 - 09;19;40;17

Jon & Aaron

If you broke the mirror, don't have them get one.


09;19;39;29 - 09;19;38;15

Jon & Aaron

Because you have to look into it.


09;19;38;06 - 09;19;36;01

Jon & Aaron

This starts with the person personal.


09;19;36;01 - 09;19;35;06

Jon & Aaron

And like once you put.


09;19;35;06 - 09;19;28;04

Jon & Aaron

Yourself as much in order and you set your trajectory at an ideal that's difficult to obtain and you're working towards that, then you're.


09;19;28;04 - 09;19;23;25

Jon & Aaron

Best positioned, not well positioned, but best position possible.


09;19;23;25 - 09;19;22;22

Jon & Aaron

For your circumstances.


09;19;22;13 - 09;19;22;03

Jon & Aaron

To help.


09;19;22;03 - 09;19;20;10

Jon & Aaron

Someone else that's near you. Yeah.


09;19;20;07 - 09;19;19;12

Jon & Aaron

You know, but until.


09;19;19;12 - 09;19;15;26

Jon & Aaron

Then, it's like the blind leading the blind or the drowning saving the drowning. Good luck, man.


09;19;15;18 - 09;19;13;01

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, that's rough. Yeah, don't don't read it.


09;19;12;24 - 09;19;07;09

Jon & Aaron

Don't hang out in the. I don't know what the military term is, but the medicine you guys currently.


09;19;06;25 - 09;19;05;22

Jon & Aaron

Don't, don't hang out and have it on.


09;19;05;22 - 09;19;04;19

Jon & Aaron

The sidelines, right?


09;19;04;18 - 09;19;02;24

Jon & Aaron

The sidelines, yeah. Know if you're.


09;19;02;24 - 09;19;00;03

Jon & Aaron

Injured, it's not. That's not a permanent situation.


09;19;00;03 - 09;18;58;07

Jon & Aaron

You never get rid of the bunny slippers.


09;18;58;07 - 09;18;48;06

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, yeah. Slippers. It's epitome. The slight chill they see every day kind of mentality like.


09;18;48;05 - 09;18;46;04

Jon & Aaron

And think about that, OK, I want.


09;18;46;04 - 09;18;41;06

Jon & Aaron

To embrace the tackling the problems mindsets like, Well, how do you prepare? Well.


09;18;40;23 - 09;18;37;16

Jon & Aaron

If food's a problem and you know, winter's coming.


09;18;37;16 - 09;18;32;04

Jon & Aaron

How do you prepare? You plant your your crops in the Harvard and the spring, and you hunt as much as possible. Right?


09;18;31;17 - 09;18;28;02

Jon & Aaron

And it's like, OK, if I know that some problems.


09;18;28;02 - 09;18;19;20

Jon & Aaron

Are going to strike and my car is going to need repaired or there's going to be repair in the home or medical bill or something. How do you prepare for that? You get some money in the bank. You know, how do.


09;18;19;20 - 09;18;15;17

Jon & Aaron

You prepare? Just holistically, to the best of your ability for all these things, I think.


09;18;15;17 - 09;18;12;00

Jon & Aaron

You sharpen your mind and strengthen your body. If you know, like if.


09;18;12;00 - 09;18;08;12

Jon & Aaron

Those are great analogies to look at for the concept of, well, how.


09;18;08;12 - 09;17;53;15

Jon & Aaron

Do I strengthen my body and sharpen my mind? I think. Well, simply put, I think that putting yourself in physical adversity, like what? Whatever that is, walking, running, lifting sports.


09;17;53;04 - 09;17;50;06

Jon & Aaron

Anything, hiking, putting yourself, forcing.


09;17;50;06 - 09;17;47;04

Jon & Aaron

Yourself into the circumstances helps build that store of.


09;17;47;04 - 09;17;43;16

Jon & Aaron

Resilience in the mind. It's like reading challenging.


09;17;43;16 - 09;17;40;01

Jon & Aaron

Your own assumptions and who you surround yourself with. You know, I think.


09;17;40;01 - 09;17;39;01

Jon & Aaron

That's my thought. What do you think?


09;17;38;29 - 09;17;27;11

Jon & Aaron

I think I think it's it's amazing how some how you can change it. When you look at the reality situation, how you can make actually, you can actually make things harder.


09;17;27;04 - 09;17;24;18

Jon & Aaron

To get a better result. I'm thinking.


09;17;24;09 - 09;17;19;26

Jon & Aaron

Right away of like the single mom like shout out to single moms out there that.


09;17;19;18 - 09;17;18;08

Jon & Aaron

When they're faced.


09;17;18;08 - 09;17;09;15

Jon & Aaron

With this very difficult situation, some loser boyfriend or whatever took off and he chose the easy route to go and make even worse decisions.


09;17;09;15 - 09;17;06;12

Jon & Aaron

Whatever that the mom then assesses the.


09;17;06;12 - 09;16;57;05

Jon & Aaron

Situation, this sucks. I'm already having a living a hard life. Now I'm going to go to school, become a nurse. But whatever those those decisions like, I'm going to go to work.


09;16;56;23 - 09;16;52;07

Jon & Aaron

And go to school. Which is even harder because I want to get out of.


09;16;52;07 - 09;16;48;23

Jon & Aaron

This situation and then have a have a better rhythm.


09;16;48;19 - 09;16;47;11

Jon & Aaron

And that's incredible.


09;16;47;11 - 09;16;44;22

Jon & Aaron

To me that women out there can dig deep.


09;16;44;17 - 09;16;42;29

Jon & Aaron

I know men do it too. This is this.


09;16;42;26 - 09;16;40;02

Jon & Aaron

Situation in my mind that happens all the time.


09;16;39;22 - 09;16;39;03

Jon & Aaron

And we're also we're.


09;16;39;02 - 09;16;28;11

Jon & Aaron

Often confronted with it. So I think I can think of a handful of that, like exactly the prototype you just discussed, you know, it's like whatever the circumstance. Absolutely.


09;16;28;02 - 09;16;18;02

Jon & Aaron

But in that, to me is like, whoa, when when it hits the fan really bad and you no longer can. Hide behind a lie that things are going to go away, right?


09;16;17;24 - 09;16;15;26

Jon & Aaron

You can no longer hide behind the whatever.


09;16;15;09 - 09;16;14;15

Jon & Aaron

That's when you're.


09;16;14;15 - 09;16;10;03

Jon & Aaron

Confronted with that big choice, and not everyone makes the choice to push in. That's right.


09;16;10;02 - 09;16;07;11

Jon & Aaron

And you see that too. So, you know, it's like a coup to say.


09;16;06;28 - 09;16;01;26

Jon & Aaron

If your world just fell apart, your spouse died or left you and you're left with a mess to clean up.


09;16;01;15 - 09;15;58;03

Jon & Aaron

You have a choice. And there's those that you just.


09;15;58;03 - 09;15;45;01

Jon & Aaron

Described who push in and figure out, how do I make this better for myself and for my children? And then there's those who don't. And we don't talk about them because their stories of despair and heartbreak that typically going very, very badly, right?


09;15;44;22 - 09;15;43;04

Jon & Aaron

And it goes back to.


09;15;43;00 - 09;15;39;19

Jon & Aaron

When the world's falling apart around you and you're not prepared. That's where you.


09;15;39;19 - 09;15;37;19

Jon & Aaron

Have the choice in that. There's so much.


09;15;37;18 - 09;15;37;02

Jon & Aaron

Hope in this.


09;15;36;04 - 09;15;33;19

Jon & Aaron

There's this. There's this lady who.


09;15;33;19 - 09;15;31;19

Jon & Aaron

Was at a party and she was talking to a psychiatrist.


09;15;31;02 - 09;15;26;25

Jon & Aaron

At the party and she's like, All right, I have a question for you. OK, so what is it? He's like.


09;15;26;16 - 09;15;21;17

Jon & Aaron

Please tell me that there's something wrong here. She had been sharing this struggle. She's going through.


09;15;21;08 - 09;15;20;10

Jon & Aaron

Say, Please tell me.


09;15;20;10 - 09;15;15;23

Jon & Aaron

There's something wrong with me. Why do you want to know that something's wrong with you? And she's like.


09;15;15;17 - 09;15;14;24

Jon & Aaron

Because if something's.


09;15;14;24 - 09;15;13;02

Jon & Aaron

Wrong with me, I can work to fix it.


09;15;12;02 - 09;15;09;28

Jon & Aaron

If this is just how the world is.


09;15;09;14 - 09;15;04;23

Jon & Aaron

Then there's no point in living. And it was so interesting to hear that story because it's.


09;15;03;19 - 09;15;02;17

Jon & Aaron

To me, it's antithetical.


09;15;02;17 - 09;14;39;29

Jon & Aaron

To the lie. Of domestication security being taken care of being a victim. Right, directly stabs it in the heart because if you choose the more dangerous freedom and choose ownership, right? And here, like freedom is ownership of circumstances and working toward solution domestication is avoidance of problems in the victim herd mentality, right?


09;14;39;18 - 09;14;36;25

Jon & Aaron

If you choose the ownership mentality, there's good news for you.


09;14;36;15 - 09;14;31;15

Jon & Aaron

There's a way to potentially fix it. If you're a victim, you're at the whims of.


09;14;31;15 - 09;14;28;22

Jon & Aaron

Everything around you. There's no fixing it, what's the point?


09;14;28;07 - 09;14;25;07

Jon & Aaron

I don't know how long it's going to last. And you that victim.


09;14;24;14 - 09;14;22;24

Jon & Aaron

You get as far as I.


09;14;22;24 - 09;14;21;18

Jon & Aaron

Know you're walking with it.


09;14;20;18 - 09;14;20;10

Jon & Aaron

And it.


09;14;20;10 - 09;14;17;22

Jon & Aaron

Could for as long as it goes. Yeah.


09;14;17;05 - 09;14;11;09

Jon & Aaron

And just like with buy some cows, more cows die walking with the storm than bison do.


09;14;11;08 - 09;14;10;13

Jon & Aaron

Walking through it.


09;14;09;24 - 09;14;02;11

Jon & Aaron

So it's like there's no guarantee that it's going to pass and you're going to be OK, you know, like you could be killed by this or it could ruin you.


09;14;02;00 - 09;13;45;09

Jon & Aaron

Part of the part of it, too. And I want to make sure I don't miss this. I'm taking it. My my wife's in my head right now, and she's she's saying and being more compassionate and I'm thinking this storm just so, you know, when you walk through the storm, I'm not talking about someone who's just like.


09;13;44;04 - 09;13;29;25

Jon & Aaron

You know, just gritting their teeth and just walking through. Sometimes the work of walking through a store is sitting down and grind with somebody like, Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it really sucks. OK, buddy, come over. It's like, I'm just going to sit down with you right now.


09;13;29;15 - 09;13;26;06

Jon & Aaron

I'm here. That's the work. I'm walking to the storm.


09;13;25;07 - 09;13;24;05

Jon & Aaron

It's not always like.


09;13;23;26 - 09;13;04;08

Jon & Aaron

Lifting the weight and carrying it some more. Oftentimes, it's really being brutally honest about where you're at, stopping, assessing. I just thought to myself, Do I need to rest right now? I can't run. I mean that the muscles for it, it's like, All right, resting is your job right now.


09;13;04;04 - 09;12;55;24

Jon & Aaron

You need to get your heart, your mind back so you can walk through. But we're not giving up on walking through it. We're just we're just making.


09;12;55;14 - 09;12;54;10

Jon & Aaron

Intentional decisions.


09;12;54;10 - 09;12;51;05

Jon & Aaron

Right now so that you can make it through this as fast as possible.


09;12;50;29 - 09;12;49;20

Jon & Aaron

What a great counterbalance, man.


09;12;49;19 - 09;12;45;18

Jon & Aaron

Because it does, it does get. Pretty calloused.


09;12;45;18 - 09;12;40;03

Jon & Aaron

In matter of fact, pretty quickly. But you're right, like the human element of it going back to like the Neal thing.


09;12;39;15 - 09;12;38;18

Jon & Aaron

Maybe the best thing you can.


09;12;38;18 - 09;12;37;01

Jon & Aaron

Do is just get some food in your body.


09;12;36;16 - 09;12;35;01

Jon & Aaron

You know, if it's beating you up.


09;12;35;01 - 09;12;28;29

Jon & Aaron

So bad, maybe you just can't climb under a rock and like under a bush and just sleep for a.


09;12;28;29 - 09;12;28;06

Jon & Aaron

Little shelter.


09;12;28;01 - 09;12;24;00

Jon & Aaron

Get some shelter, recuperate. Like, take that tactical pause.


09;12;24;00 - 09;12;17;20

Jon & Aaron

Take that moment to gird up whatever resources are available to you to recharge a little bit. Yes.


09;12;16;28 - 09;12;15;07

Jon & Aaron

The difference there is you're not.


09;12;15;07 - 09;12;13;27

Jon & Aaron

Assuming the problem's going to go away.


09;12;13;00 - 09;12;12;05

Jon & Aaron

The difference here is you're.


09;12;12;05 - 09;11;59;00

Jon & Aaron

Doing what's actually necessary to get whatever you can in your grasp to begin moving forward again and solving the thing. And you're right, that could just be mourning through despair for a little bit.


09;11;58;22 - 09;11;58;12

Jon & Aaron

Absolutely.


09;11;58;09 - 09;11;43;21

Jon & Aaron

And allowing yourself to grieve so that you can remove that weight off yourself and then have a better chance of moving forward. Because if you're carrying £100 and trying to weather the storm, it's a lot harder. So back to your point, maybe you just have to sit and cry.


09;11;43;11 - 09;11;41;23

Jon & Aaron

Yes. Maybe you just have to.


09;11;41;04 - 09;11;40;08

Jon & Aaron

Feel the loss of.


09;11;40;02 - 09;11;39;06

Jon & Aaron

Whatever it was.


09;11;39;00 - 09;11;36;00

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, grieve it. Yeah. And then when you get back up.


09;11;36;00 - 09;11;32;04

Jon & Aaron

Say, I'm not going to carry this because I have to solve something and I have to fix it.


09;11;31;29 - 09;11;30;06

Jon & Aaron

That, to me, is more that to me is.


09;11;30;06 - 09;11;28;17

Jon & Aaron

Very much laissant mentality.


09;11;28;09 - 09;11;25;03

Jon & Aaron

I don't want to discount that because I think the car mentality.


09;11;25;03 - 09;11;19;24

Jon & Aaron

Is keep on going. And if you've ever been too tired and you've been doing some tasks to start dropping tools, yet.


09;11;19;15 - 09;11;18;16

Jon & Aaron

Just everything injure.


09;11;18;16 - 09;11;18;01

Jon & Aaron

Yourself.


09;11;18;01 - 09;11;15;29

Jon & Aaron

And do something. Everything is.


09;11;15;23 - 09;11;14;00

Jon & Aaron

That easy is actually.


09;11;14;00 - 09;11;11;17

Jon & Aaron

Very difficult because you're just tired.


09;11;11;09 - 09;11;09;19

Jon & Aaron

You know, sometimes you just need to call.


09;11;09;19 - 09;11;07;23

Jon & Aaron

It like, I'm going to rest tomorrow to be.


09;11;07;23 - 09;11;05;26

Jon & Aaron

Fresh. We've all had to make that decision.


09;11;05;26 - 09;11;04;29

Jon & Aaron

Hopefully, you know, you go.


09;11;04;20 - 09;11;01;23

Jon & Aaron

This, be wise and go, I'm going to take it. I won't take.


09;11;01;23 - 09;10;58;12

Jon & Aaron

This on tomorrow, and it's way better, you know?


09;10;58;04 - 09;10;56;19

Jon & Aaron

But a cow is like.


09;10;55;29 - 09;10;44;29

Jon & Aaron

You know, just don't think iZombie, get through this. That's the right thing to do. I would beg to differ. I don't think you're I don't think you're being or is intentional. You need to be.


09;10;44;17 - 09;10;29;24

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, you're it's it's being in touch with the reality of your situation, right? To me, it just goes back to you. If you're truly owning the circumstances you're in, in the reality of it, then you'll realize I maybe can't take another step right now.


09;10;29;13 - 09;10;10;10

Jon & Aaron

And that comes back to the compassion piece of. What do I need to do to get this strength to start walking again in tone? And that's a very fair, very real thing, depending on what you're walking through. And you know, on the human level, experts say, force a meal, you know, get something in your body that force


09;10;10;09 - 09;10;03;15

Jon & Aaron

rash. If you can't sleep, just put yourself in a peaceful situation to at least do the best you can at recuperation for it. You know.


09;10;03;12 - 09;10;02;10

Jon & Aaron

Take a nap outside.


09;10;02;07 - 09;09;59;06

Jon & Aaron

Take a walk and whatever that may be, you know.


09;09;58;22 - 09;09;54;25

Jon & Aaron

If you have, like, get a hug, you know, if you can't get out, do.


09;09;54;25 - 09;09;43;20

Jon & Aaron

Whatever, whatever it is that you're like, this is the most important thing. That in my mind is embracing the problem. It is pushing in because those are realities that you feels like Jon.


09;09;43;20 - 09;09;41;19

Jon & Aaron

It's you. You texted me and say.


09;09;41;00 - 09;09;39;22

Jon & Aaron

Hey, can we do.


09;09;39;21 - 09;09;39;06

Jon & Aaron

Lunch this.


09;09;39;06 - 09;09;36;23

Jon & Aaron

Week? And I might go, Hey, I'm busy. Yeah.


09;09;36;10 - 09;09;27;24

Jon & Aaron

And but if you text me, I said, I need a lunch this week, but then I'd be like, OK, this is a priority. Yep. Like if I could, if you had to just.


09;09;27;24 - 09;09;26;19

Jon & Aaron

Encourage you, be like, Look.


09;09;25;25 - 09;09;25;06

Jon & Aaron

I'm in trouble.


09;09;24;18 - 09;09;23;12

Jon & Aaron

And yeah, yeah.


09;09;22;04 - 09;09;21;08

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, just going to be like.


09;09;20;26 - 09;09;15;20

Jon & Aaron

This for just one second. All you need is like five seconds of courage or bravery just to be like.


09;09;14;20 - 09;09;11;11

Jon & Aaron

I need to have coffee sent. Yeah.


09;09;11;07 - 09;09;08;05

Jon & Aaron

With that person that you need with right.


09;09;08;04 - 09;09;04;10

Jon & Aaron

And it's interesting too, because. That's such a good.


09;09;04;10 - 09;09;03;16

Jon & Aaron

Point, Erin, because.


09;09;01;15 - 09;08;58;26

Jon & Aaron

You can't assume that people are in your beck and call.


09;08;58;15 - 09;08;48;12

Jon & Aaron

So it's like you need support and you're like, I'm so alone. And so Kagan, can we have lunch this week here? I got this week's not get me on. And then I'm like, whoAs me, no one's here for me.


09;08;47;26 - 09;08;46;25

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, yeah.


09;08;46;24 - 09;08;44;26

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, the guy doesn't care. The world.


09;08;44;26 - 09;08;43;29

Jon &