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9. Bison Strong _ Lessons from the American Buffalo _ Part 2

Updated: Nov 15, 2021


 

Today we discuss "Embrace Your Inner Bison and Run Toward the Storm" an article written by Aaron Barrette that explores the more dangerous yet hearty and free Bison compared to the placid, domesticated cow and the implications of studying these two animals as metaphors for how we can embrace life. Highlights include: - The Pain Paradox - Dangerous Freedom vs. Comfortable Security - Building Resilience - Crafting plans to respond to life's "storms" - The importance of your community - The value of pushing into your problems Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

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09;45;40;24 - 09;45;35;04

Jon & Aaron

This is terrible. I'm a victim. Why isn't anyone helping me? This is the saddest.


09;45;35;04 - 09;45;22;27

Jon & Aaron

Thing in the world. It just makes you sick. Hearing it makes you sick. Thinking about it and that person in a life and death circumstance is significantly more likely to die, say or sing in the woe for me song.


09;45;22;18 - 09;45;19;21

Jon & Aaron

Versus the I better get to work fixing this.


09;45;18;26 - 09;45;18;13

Jon & Aaron

Song.


09;45;18;03 - 09;45;05;20

Jon & Aaron

You know, and that that to that, to me, is the underlining factor. Are you going to choose to foster the victim mentality and choose to look for someone to help.


09;45;05;19 - 09;45;04;09

Jon & Aaron

You out of whatever problem?


09;45;03;24 - 09;45;00;29

Jon & Aaron

Or are you going to say, No, this is atrocious.


09;45;00;29 - 09;44;57;22

Jon & Aaron

This sucks. I'm angry, I'm sad. Now, what?


09;44;57;14 - 09;44;56;24

Jon & Aaron

What am I going to.


09;44;56;24 - 09;44;56;08

Jon & Aaron

Do about it?


09;44;56;07 - 09;44;55;22

Jon & Aaron

Right, right?


09;44;55;06 - 09;44;52;19

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, it's the guy. It's the guy that, you know, like.


09;44;51;24 - 09;44;46;27

Jon & Aaron

I'm thinking of, like the Alien movies or the old the old suspense or thriller.


09;44;46;27 - 09;44;45;03

Jon & Aaron

Movies like it's the guy that loses.


09;44;45;03 - 09;44;36;25

Jon & Aaron

Hope that same die next. I mean, that's like, yeah, I mean, that's generally how they set it up, right? And we're so tired. Yeah, no. You're dead.


09;44;36;24 - 09;44;36;04

Jon & Aaron

You are.


09;44;34;06 - 09;44;29;13

Jon & Aaron

Yes, there'll be that character in the movie, right? Yeah, it's it's true.


09;44;29;05 - 09;44;27;26

Jon & Aaron

But it's but there's always a.


09;44;27;26 - 09;44;25;18

Jon & Aaron

Hero we want to be that we're like, Okay.


09;44;25;07 - 09;44;23;22

Jon & Aaron

This this situation sucks.


09;44;23;22 - 09;44;21;24

Jon & Aaron

Like, we're not downplaying it.


09;44;21;00 - 09;44;18;22

Jon & Aaron

We're not we're not like creating some.


09;44;18;22 - 09;44;14;25

Jon & Aaron

Cognitive dissonance like, Oh, no, everything is fine, you know, it's like.


09;44;14;11 - 09;44;12;15

Jon & Aaron

We don't need that to know something.


09;44;12;13 - 09;44;04;29

Jon & Aaron

We don't want to be that person. That's like not even in touch with reality. Reality is it needs to be embraced. That's the habit.


09;44;04;26 - 09;43;51;16

Jon & Aaron

And that's the perfect statement. Reality needs to be embraced. And that's what I think is another way of looking at it is when the problem strikes, you don't embrace the reality that you have something to deal with or are going to just try to avoid it until I hope it goes away.


09;43;51;11 - 09;43;50;14

Jon & Aaron

It goes away, you know?


09;43;50;04 - 09;43;36;00

Jon & Aaron

And that's where like, hey, if you've not prepared for whatever difficulties like staring at you right now, they're endless. But if you're in this place of despair and you're trying to avoid it, like. That's where really are saying, I don't think it's hopeless for you.


09;43;35;29 - 09;43;22;02

Jon & Aaron

You just need right now you have a choice because we're talking about it and we're going to keep avoiding this garbage, right? I'm going to keep looking for somebody to come save me or for this problem, magically just walk away and leave me alone because the universe is dead and it wants me to be happy, right?


09;43;20;21 - 09;43;20;06

Jon & Aaron

Or.


09;43;19;13 - 09;43;18;00

Jon & Aaron

And this is the offer.


09;43;18;00 - 09;43;05;03

Jon & Aaron

To hit you if you're in this rough spot and you're not prepared. Take a look in the mirror. Acknowledge that reality. Take a look at your problem and find some incremental small thing you can do to begin pushing into it and resolve.


09;43;04;22 - 09;43;03;22

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, anything.


09;43;03;16 - 09;43;03;02

Jon & Aaron

Anything.


09;43;02;19 - 09;42;57;22

Jon & Aaron

Even if it's a partial small solution, you can't see the solution at the end. It's too big and scary.


09;42;57;12 - 09;42;56;27

Jon & Aaron

That's OK.


09;42;56;26 - 09;42;53;11

Jon & Aaron

What can you do in some small way to incrementally make better.


09;42;53;04 - 09;42;52;12

Jon & Aaron

Even if you.


09;42;52;12 - 09;42;49;11

Jon & Aaron

Have not slept or eaten because you're so messed up from this? Yes.


09;42;49;00 - 09;42;48;08

Jon & Aaron

Maybe the best thing you.


09;42;48;08 - 09;42;47;01

Jon & Aaron

Can do is just force a meal.


09;42;46;16 - 09;42;45;12

Jon & Aaron

Go get something fatty.


09;42;45;12 - 09;42;41;15

Jon & Aaron

And protein dense and get in your body because within 1015 minutes after doing that, your.


09;42;41;15 - 09;42;41;03

Jon & Aaron

Body.


09;42;40;24 - 09;42;37;07

Jon & Aaron

Physiologically, you're in a significantly better position on how you perceive the world.


09;42;36;28 - 09;42;33;02

Jon & Aaron

So maybe that is the insignificance.


09;42;33;02 - 09;42;31;29

Jon & Aaron

Of the steps you need to take.


09;42;31;23 - 09;42;28;17

Jon & Aaron

Right now, I'm going to force myself to care for.


09;42;28;17 - 09;42;18;03

Jon & Aaron

Myself right now because I'm scared. I don't know how to handle the situation. I've been running from it. I don't want to. I'm in despair, right? I'm alone, OK? I challenge the assumption you're alone. But maybe you are.


09;42;17;23 - 09;42;15;05

Jon & Aaron

Get some food in your stomach faucet, Jon.


09;42;15;03 - 09;42;11;24

Jon & Aaron

Like this is this is so good because.


09;42;11;24 - 09;42;07;21

Jon & Aaron

When you talk about the person I'm talking about, I'm talking to myself like.


09;42;06;25 - 09;42;05;25

Jon & Aaron

Who has been in.


09;42;05;25 - 09;42;03;07

Jon & Aaron

The storm and is going to be in the store. And I want.


09;42;03;07 - 09;42;02;22

Jon & Aaron

To say.


09;42;02;22 - 09;41;59;19

Jon & Aaron

To Aaron or to Jon and go in the storm.


09;41;58;28 - 09;41;57;17

Jon & Aaron

I want to talk against those.


09;41;57;17 - 09;41;49;27

Jon & Aaron

Voices and somebody saying, you know, this is happening because of that person or I'm not worthy or I'm not whatever, you know.


09;41;49;26 - 09;41;49;10

Jon & Aaron

It's just.


09;41;49;10 - 09;41;45;23

Jon & Aaron

Like you, just this negative crap you're making the storm worse is like.


09;41;45;07 - 09;41;44;15

Jon & Aaron

It's not even that.


09;41;44;15 - 09;41;36;27

Jon & Aaron

Bad and you're just saying it's worse than it is. You're not a bad person. You're just welcome to the club.


09;41;36;24 - 09;41;36;03

Jon & Aaron

You're in shock.


09;41;36;02 - 09;41;34;28

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, exactly.


09;41;34;28 - 09;41;32;07

Jon & Aaron

But that's going to the team. We're doing this together.


09;41;32;06 - 09;41;30;22

Jon & Aaron

Well, that's where the preparation comes in.


09;41;30;22 - 09;41;27;15

Jon & Aaron

I think we owe some more conversation to what this preparation looks like, right?


09;41;27;05 - 09;41;25;20

Jon & Aaron

Because, for example.


09;41;25;11 - 09;41;21;17

Jon & Aaron

Our septic system is on the rocks right now, that's a 20,000 dollar problem.


09;41;21;05 - 09;41;18;18

Jon & Aaron

That's terrible. The second you start thinking about that.


09;41;18;11 - 09;41;04;23

Jon & Aaron

The reaction for me, right, was to immediately extrapolate all of the problems, all the loss of freedom, all the auxiliary things that happens that come with a price tag like that unexpected in a bad way. Right?


09;41;03;29 - 09;40;53;21

Jon & Aaron

But then if you tell yourself to shut out and you simplify the problem, it's like, OK, well, me thinking about all this stuff doesn't help. That's when I can say, well, what's.


09;40;53;21 - 09;40;50;29

Jon & Aaron

The next step, I need to get some advice from some professionals.


09;40;50;22 - 09;40;46;08

Jon & Aaron

Let's do that. Let's evaluate. And what do I need to do each week.


09;40;46;08 - 09;40;38;10

Jon & Aaron

In preparing for that potential second and third order effects? Right? I make that you just take the first step. You call the professionals and you take a deep breath.


09;40;37;19 - 09;40;36;07

Jon & Aaron

Well, I'm not going to continue.


09;40;36;07 - 09;40;33;19

Jon & Aaron

On some other pursuit that is now threatened by this.


09;40;33;10 - 09;40;32;16

Jon & Aaron

But I am going.


09;40;32;16 - 09;40;29;24

Jon & Aaron

To take a deep breath and wait till I talk to the professionals, right?


09;40;29;16 - 09;40;28;06

Jon & Aaron

And I'm going to now say.


09;40;28;06 - 09;40;17;01

Jon & Aaron

What's the next step I can do to plan for this contingency? I'm not going to worry about all the things. I'm just going to bring it very close, very near to what I can affect today and begin working.


09;40;17;01 - 09;40;14;28

Jon & Aaron

Through those things. And in the second, tell yourself.


09;40;14;28 - 09;40;13;29

Jon & Aaron

To shut up. And it.


09;40;13;29 - 09;40;13;00

Jon & Aaron

Doesn't matter that bad.


09;40;13;00 - 09;40;12;10

Jon & Aaron

Or this or this.


09;40;12;10 - 09;40;05;18

Jon & Aaron

It's OK at the end of day simplification, right? All right. That's how it's going to cost money.


09;40;05;04 - 09;40;03;12

Jon & Aaron

We're going to have to figure out how to source that.


09;40;02;28 - 09;40;01;13

Jon & Aaron

The key is the key is.


09;40;01;01 - 09;39;58;06

Jon & Aaron

To not go one way or the other on the pendulum.


09;39;57;23 - 09;39;56;16

Jon & Aaron

Yeah, it is what it.


09;39;56;16 - 09;39;54;07

Jon & Aaron

Is, correct. It's not more than it is.


09;39;53;21 - 09;39;51;29

Jon & Aaron

It's not less than. And it's like, I know.


09;39;51;28 - 09;39;48;17

Jon & Aaron

You're not putting your head above the rock either. We have done this, you know, like.


09;39;47;19 - 09;39;46;24

Jon & Aaron

Don't do that.


09;39;46;23 - 09;39;44;19

Jon & Aaron

Don't ignore it. Right? Yeah.


09;39;44;16 - 09;39;43;02

Jon & Aaron

But at the same time, don't say.


09;39;42;23 - 09;39;30;24

Jon & Aaron

Oh, this is going to ruin my life, and it's not. You're going to freak unless you're going to like, I don't care how bad the situation is right now, you're going to you're still going to breathe, you're still going to get through it right now.


09;39;28;17 - 09;39;24;00

Jon & Aaron

Don't tell yourself that there's no way out. It's just that.


09;39;23;28 - 09;39;20;13

Jon & Aaron

There is a solution. You just got to open your eyes and look.


09;39;20;06 - 09;39;17;19

Jon & Aaron

And the reality is the helicopter could.


09;39;17;19 - 09;39;10;24

Jon & Aaron

Fly over you while you're drowning. But if you're woe is me, you won't see the helicopter even. Yeah, you got to get. You got to snap out of it.


09;39;10;05 - 09;39;05;02

Jon & Aaron

Absolutely. And it's kind of a human restriction position because in episode eight.


09;39;05;02 - 09;38;53;23

Jon & Aaron

With the walkers, whom we were joking around about how there's a bunch of people in the car and they were with Billy Walker's dad, and they're all at this really long lines at five minutes in the white, still red and everyone's gone.


09;38;53;22 - 09;38;49;04

Jon & Aaron

This is such a long line. And then Mr. Walker is like.


09;38;48;23 - 09;38;30;28

Jon & Aaron

Long, like, yup, that's it. It's that's tongue in cheek and hilarious. It's like a septic system needs repaired, OK? It's when you simplify things. It gives you a OK. It's less scary. I'm not going to allow.


09;38;30;28 - 09;38;29;21

Jon & Aaron

Myself to turn this into a mountain.


09;38;29;12 - 09;38;28;15

Jon & Aaron

Even if it is.


09;38;28;15 - 09;38;27;06

Jon & Aaron

I'm going to figure out how to start climbing.


09;38;26;23 - 09;38;21;14

Jon & Aaron

You know, it's like, we have this problem. So how the heck do we prepare for whatever the.


09;38;21;14 - 09;38;20;13

Jon & Aaron

Situation may be?


09;38;20;12 - 09;38;19;26

Jon & Aaron

Yes.


09;38;19;26 - 09;38;16;21

Jon & Aaron

What can we do to? Because it's a mindset, right? Yeah. How do you foster it?


09;38;16;17 - 09;38;07;29

Jon & Aaron

Well, I see that first of all, the bison to me is a great word picture. I hear these guys like, you see bison. They hang out herds.


09;38;07;25 - 09;38;06;03

Jon & Aaron

That's like if you see one alone.


09;38;06;03 - 09;38;00;29

Jon & Aaron

And there's none four miles or something from, you know, it's in trouble, there's something else.


09;37;59;06 - 09;37;56;29

Jon & Aaron

So I think, first of.


09;37;56;29 - 09;37;55;13

Jon & Aaron

All, is surrounding yourself.


09;37;55;05 - 09;37;50;22

Jon & Aaron

Not with just. Now we're just other bodies.


09;37;50;22 - 09;37;49;28

Jon & Aaron

Around sheep, but.


09;37;49;28 - 09;37;48;08

Jon & Aaron

Bison make bison, not.


09;37;48;06 - 09;37;47;15

Jon & Aaron

Animals, cows.


09;37;44;22 - 09;37;43;18

Jon & Aaron

And I don't say that to me.


09;37;43;17 - 09;37;36;26

Jon & Aaron

Like a boy, people don't think like you always. There's just going to be situations where you have two families. A great example. We don't.


09;37;36;16 - 09;37;35;14

Jon & Aaron

Not everybody in the family.


09;37;35;03 - 09;37;21;10

Jon & Aaron

Is moving the same way as a herd. I'm talking about choosing the people that are going to go through the start because what you don't need when the stone comes is a bunch of people running around panicking or have a tendency to do so.


09;37;19;27 - 09;37;12;25

Jon & Aaron

All of our friends at some time have we sort of there's a gravitational pull to it. We all agree that when storms come, this is what we're going to go into.


09;37;12;10 - 09;37;08;27

Jon & Aaron

But that's beautiful because the bay you're talking about, your.


09;37;08;27 - 09;37;02;08

Jon & Aaron

Baseline character that's being fostered and grown, right? You have to be selective of your inner circle. You have to be.


09;37;01;26 - 09;36;59;22

Jon & Aaron

Because you're going to have days where.


09;36;59;22 - 09;36;49;18

Jon & Aaron

It's rough. I'm going to have days where it's rough. That's the point of being friends with each other because our baseline character is strength. You know, that's the goal. And that's what we're working to foster character in these different things.


09;36;49;06 - 09;36;45;07

Jon & Aaron

So if you're hitting adversity, I've got your back and vice.


09;36;45;07 - 09;36;40;04

Jon & Aaron

Versa, right? When your inner circle works to foster positive attributes, yes.


09;36;39;23 - 09;36;37;13

Jon & Aaron

Then when there is weakness and.


09;36;37;13 - 09;36;29;09

Jon & Aaron

It will come or when the storm or when the wolves of the problems come and threaten, you're not alone in facing them and where you may come up short.


09;36;28;19 - 09;36;28;00

Jon & Aaron

Thank God, you.


09;36;28;00 - 09;36;25;10

Jon & Aaron

Have a good inner circle. I hope you do, right?


09;36;24;28 - 09;36;21;18

Jon & Aaron

And if you don't mind that, there's another.


09;36;21;18 - 09;36;19;11

Jon & Aaron

Analogy I'll play with for a second. It's really fun.


09;36;19;02 - 09;36;17;09

Jon & Aaron

You said it's the bisons out by itself.


09;36;17;09 - 09;36;04;20

Jon & Aaron

It's a trouble. There's this lie especially well in whatever circles it's prevalent of. Like this awful mindset, right? Like being alpha will be a lone wolf segment losers.


09;36;04;11 - 09;36;03;11

Jon & Aaron

So in the.


09;36;03;11 - 09;35;58;04

Jon & Aaron

Eighties, there's a bunch of studies and they actually learned that the lone wolf is a wolf in crisis.


09;35;56;28 - 09;35;49;22

Jon & Aaron

They're typically young and looking for a pact to establish or old and kicked out to die.


09;35;48;18 - 09;35;44;26

Jon & Aaron

All right, you're not carrying your weight or you're causing too many problems. Get out of here.


09;35;44;12 - 09;35;43;17

Jon & Aaron

And so that.


09;35;43;17 - 09;35;34;08

Jon & Aaron

Creature is in crisis. It's not in a good place when it's alone. The Alpha Wolf is in a pair with its partner.


09;35;33;16 - 09;35;30;14

Jon & Aaron

And they lead the pack as often as it is.


09;35;30;13 - 09;35;26;22

Jon & Aaron

Largely an extended family unit. Between that partnership.


09;35;26;06 - 09;35;23;28

Jon & Aaron

Of the the height, the top of the.


09;35;23;28 - 09;35;20;23

Jon & Aaron

Hierarchy, male and female. So it's really an alpha pair. You have the.


09;35;20;23 - 09;35;20;00

Jon & Aaron

Alpha male and.


09;35;19;21 - 09;35;18;06

Jon & Aaron

Female that are completely.


09;35;18;06 - 09;35;16;22

Jon & Aaron

Sync, and they lead this family.


09;35;16;17 - 09;35;14;11

Jon & Aaron

And of wolves right.


09;35;13;29 - 09;35;10;08

Jon & Aaron

Together. And so it just it's a complete. And that's what was.


09;35;10;08 - 09;35;00;03

Jon & Aaron

Discovered in this study starting in the eighties, actually calling wolves like, Oh, our perceptions wrong. It's not the alpha wolf. That's this big, bad, crazy, scary thing. You're wrong. You're in trouble by yourself.


09;34;59;19 - 09;34;58;00

Jon & Aaron

But if you surround yourself.


09;34;57;03 - 09;34;50;19

Jon & Aaron

And you create that tight inner circle of people pursuing a similar ideal can encourage one another in.


09;34;50;19 - 09;34;37;23

Jon & Aaron

Pursuit of that ideal. Then you have strength, you have balance, you have all these like these positive things that come. And I love it because it's also such an attack.


09;34;37;23 - 09;34;33;22

Jon & Aaron

On selfishness or justification of like war. I'm this way or whatever.


09;34;32;15 - 09;34;31;26

Jon & Aaron

And it's slightly.


09;34;31;26 - 09;34;29;25

Jon & Aaron

Tangential, but it's directly related.


09;34;29;13 - 09;34;26;02

Jon & Aaron

Because you can't be that guy out.


09;34;26;02 - 09;34;08;20

Jon & Aaron

By yourself and not be in some level of crisis. And if you're hardened to the point where you don't see the danger you're in, that's where it when the weather gets rough, you're going to start to realize really quickly, Oh, I'm not in the best place because when I fall down, he's going to help me out.


09;34;08;13 - 09;33;57;15

Jon & Aaron

Mm-Hmm. No, that's right, right? You're also really exposed to being a victim. Yeah, I mean, there's there are predators out there, like.


09;33;57;00 - 09;33;55;26

Jon & Aaron

In addition to.


09;33;55;19 - 09;33;52;19

Jon & Aaron

Storms, there are those that will.


09;33;52;01 - 09;33;50;11

Jon & Aaron

That do want to take you out in this.


09;33;50;11 - 09;33;48;05

Jon & Aaron

Life, you know, 100%. And so.


09;33;47;12 - 09;33;44;07

Jon & Aaron

I tell you what, the best way to fend off of those.


09;33;44;07 - 09;33;40;23

Jon & Aaron

Up front next. I mean, that's yeah, that's how you survive.


09;33;40;03 - 09;33;34;22

Jon & Aaron

And so that the bison get that as big as they are, like if you've ever been around bison like.


09;33;34;22 - 09;33;31;17

Jon & Aaron

They don't like, you could drive your car up to one. And they did like.


09;33;31;09 - 09;33;30;19

Jon & Aaron

Belt told you your.


09;33;30;19 - 09;33;23;29

Jon & Aaron

Car. That's right. Yeah. If they feel challenge of this, yeah, this trash your car.


09;33;21;24 - 09;33;21;01

Jon & Aaron

So they're tough.


09;33;21;01 - 09;33;17;29

Jon & Aaron

But they're not so tough to think they can go it alone.


09;33;17;29 - 09;33;09;10

Jon & Aaron

Either way, because if they're alone like that pack of wolves or beat them, you know, it's interesting because this is such a communal thing.


09;33;09;10 - 09;32;55;07

Jon & Aaron

And I think we keep coming back to that. This mindset is communal, and I think it's I think it's because we are the culmination of what we do. Yeah, right. Which even further is the culmination of how we think from what we allow ourselves to think, right?


09;32;54;29 - 09;32;49;10

Jon & Aaron

So like when talking about preparation, if I do like, I'll just throw out three really high level thoughts on it.


09;32;49;00 - 09;32;44;09

Jon & Aaron

And like, let's look at. That for a second. So when I look.


09;32;44;09 - 09;32;36;10

Jon & Aaron

At preparation, I'm thinking, OK, who am I surrounding myself with? What types of thought patterns in my life of myself.


09;32;35;15 - 09;32;34;00

Jon & Aaron

And what am I doing?


09;32;32;19 - 09;32;24;21

Jon & Aaron

Holistically or physically to kind of gird myself up for the next challenge. You know, like how am I? How am I preparing for the next challenge, right?


09;32;24;12 - 09;32;20;13

Jon & Aaron

So it's like the date, like when the sun shining the food is plentiful. There's no.


09;32;20;13 - 09;32;08;05

Jon & Aaron

Problems. There's money in the bank. I'm not in a fight with anyone. There's no foe on the horizon. How am I preparing for the next thing? What types of patterns of thought of my going through? Who am I spending the sunny days with?


09;32;07;07 - 09;32;06;28

Jon & Aaron

You know?


09;32;06;00 - 09;31;58;22

Jon & Aaron

Yeah. Well, not not taking advantage of or taking for granted the sunny days.


09;31;57;03 - 09;31;53;25

Jon & Aaron

That's a that's a that's a thought there.


09;31;53;24 - 09;31;52;16

Jon & Aaron

To me, if you have.


09;31;52;11 - 09;31;51;26

Jon & Aaron

A sunny.


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