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41. Not Sexy, But Effective _ Personal Contracts



 

Today we discuss the lessons learned from the past 110 days, how the personal challenges have transformed into character cultivating contracts, and what the future holds.

Highlights include:

-550+ 5k’s ran, 420 additional hours claimed, sovereignty over bad habits achieved -A tool to become a better version of yourself -Its not a war against yourself -Learning how to incorporate the good and the bad -Lifestyle change -What you can do -The next 100 days Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

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08;06;29;15 - 08;06;28;03

Jon

Hello, Lindsey, how are you doing today?


08;06;27;22 - 08;06;25;11

Lindsey

I'm doing well. I think.


08;06;23;15 - 08;06;03;16

Jon

Life continues that it does. So kind of exciting. A 110 day journey is over now for we're on the second day since its completion. And. At least for me, and today we're going to talk about not just the last 110 days in the contract I did with myself.


08;06;03;08 - 08;05;58;03

Jon

We mentioned personal contracts a lot. They started as challenges, you know, growth points, things like that.


08;05;57;07 - 08;05;56;27

Jon

But.


08;05;55;25 - 08;05;45;27

Jon

Really, this last year, right, because Thanksgiving just happened. And last Thanksgiving of 2020. Kind of got on in a year.


08;05;45;23 - 08;05;44;20

Jon

Yeah, yeah.


08;05;44;13 - 08;05;34;29

Jon

The great Billy Walker and myself, he wanted to do some crazy work out the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So we did it. It was a Goggins workout that kind of lit this crazy.


08;05;34;29 - 08;05;34;14

Jon

Fuel.


08;05;33;28 - 08;05;21;21

Jon

Mindset thing of like, well, maybe I should start these challenges. And there's like 21 day challenges and 30 day challenges and 50 day challenges and hundred agencies and all this stuff. And now all of a sudden, I'm looking back at.


08;05;20;12 - 08;05;08;16

Jon

Over 300 days of contracts, I transformed them from challenges to contracts with myself, but over 300 days of contracts being fulfilled in the last year and most recently.


08;05;06;27 - 08;04;54;16

Lindsey

Well, we've been reflecting on not necessarily even just the nitty gritty of the challenges and the contracts because we just tried to go through them and we were like, Wait, but you added this one and then made this one harder.


08;04;54;13 - 08;04;31;14

Lindsey

Just the different things like that. But really, what has it done to you through character, through mental, you know, ability or stamina and not even like there was a lot of physical aspects of that? But really, what did it do inside you as a human being is a lot of the conversation that I really feel like is


08;04;31;14 - 08;04;29;19

Lindsey

really worth diving into.


08;04;29;01 - 08;04;24;23

Jon

Yeah, that's incredibly fair. And I think for context, there's a few details I'd like to share.


08;04;24;18 - 08;04;23;27

Lindsey

Oh, absolutely.


08;04;23;26 - 08;04;15;12

Jon

And. And part of it is because it didn't start with the aim of cultivating character.


08;04;15;08 - 08;04;14;17

Lindsey

No, it didn't.


08;04;14;16 - 08;03;56;03

Jon

But that is definitively the purpose now of these contracts and, you know, Saturday. So when I'm recording this, it's Monday, the 29th of November. So Saturday, the 27th, we were going to come back home from Utah. So I woke up extra early, completed all the.


08;03;55;04 - 08;03;40;23

Jon

Requirements for the last contract got in the car, drove and went to bed, finished out, the contract and completion in the last 110 days has been spent doing a five K every day five K plus runners 3.2 miles of 3.1.


08;03;38;01 - 08;03;37;16

Lindsey

Why?


08;03;36;12 - 08;03;24;07

Jon

Well, mostly there, so there's 110 days, because last winter I did 100 day contract with myself where I wanted to do the five day for 100 days. And on day 55, the whole winter 55 thing we've talked.


08;03;24;07 - 08;03;23;15

Jon

About, right?


08;03;23;12 - 08;03;15;10

Jon

I had to adjust. The means to get to the target because of injury and concern of significant injury.


08;03;15;08 - 08;03;14;29

Jon

Yeah.


08;03;14;20 - 08;03;12;20

Jon

And I wanted to double down on.


08;03;12;20 - 08;03;12;13

Jon

That.


08;03;12;03 - 08;03;06;21

Jon

And prove that I could pay any cost to overcome without injury. Right.


08;03;06;17 - 08;02;58;19

Lindsey

And for some humor thrown in here, why is it 3.2 miles? Not a standard five k 3.1.


08;02;57;29 - 08;02;49;18

Jon

Because so there's this site. So on my normal route, there's like the sign that's 3.1. But in my mind, so the first time I ran the route, I did it with Billy.


08;02;49;08 - 08;02;49;03

Jon

And.


08;02;49;03 - 08;02;38;09

Jon

With Aaron, and we got to the side that got this 3.1. But the entire time out, I had this other poll in my mind that's like, that's the turnaround point. So I was like, No, no, it's that poor.


08;02;38;08 - 08;02;32;25

Jon

And we went in. By the time we got back, it was 3.2. So I just kind of stuck with that forever.


08;02;32;19 - 08;02;17;08

Lindsey

Yeah, it's been your running point ever since then. In fact, to the point where we take the boys to school every morning and many of the teachers will comment, Oh, I saw you running this morning. Our parents will be like, Oh, I did see him out there and his shorts and no shirt running in his light.


08;02;17;08 - 08;02;04;09

Lindsey

And it's been really entertaining to strike up lots of different conversation on it because you run on the road right next to the house. So it's a I mean, it's a decently busy road. So it's not like it's, you know, some dirt road that nobody's watching you on.


08;02;03;10 - 08;01;58;16

Jon

Yeah, I guess there are people I have to interact with there and try not to get hit by and things like that, and.


08;01;58;07 - 08;01;57;15

Jon

It is fun.


08;01;57;15 - 08;01;57;01

Jon

Though, because the.


08;01;57;01 - 08;01;38;24

Lindsey

Whole I also think it's really cool too, because try not to cut you off. Sorry, but you and Aaron always talked about how. When you do these types of things, it's affecting other people and other people are seen and watching you do these things, even though you're not necessarily like consciously aware, and I think that's a great


08;01;38;16 - 08;01;23;18

Lindsey

point to even just be like, Wow, this is really good imagery right here. To be able to see that, you know, sometimes people you don't even necessarily know extremely well are watching you and almost expect to see you every morning as part of their routine.


08;01;23;09 - 08;01;22;02

Lindsey

Mm-Hmm. I think it's cool.


08;01;20;19 - 08;01;19;06

Jon

Yeah. I haven't thought about it that way.


08;01;18;28 - 08;01;17;21

Lindsey

It's different rabbit trail, sorry.


08;01;17;20 - 08;01;01;02

Jon

No, it's good. There's nothing to be sorry for. Let's stop apologizing. But the you know, the thing that's interesting is each of these contracts that has made them kind of unique over time. And I think this is a move we're going is they are tools that I'm using to attack what makes me afraid.


08;01;00;29 - 08;00;47;19

Jon

It makes me uncomfortable, what makes me unsettled so that I can cultivate something stronger of myself. That's why I do them. That's why I've continued to develop them. And as I've thought more about them and had more conversations with people, I realized.


08;00;47;19 - 08;00;47;11

Jon

That.


08;00;46;26 - 08;00;22;17

Jon

These are how I am choosing. To cultivate character myself one and to ensure that I'm truly experiencing life, you know, this isn't like a product or service or a gift to myself. It's a means to falling intentionally. Take responsibility for my actions daily and experience life as intentionally and fully as possible.


08;00;22;02 - 08;00;04;04

Jon

And that's played out in some interesting ways. So, you know, starting this thing off twelve days ago. There was the five K, there was waking up at 4:00 a.m. because waking up before five really sucked for me and I didn't want to do it and I wanted to conquer that myself.


08;00;03;17 - 09;59;47;20

Jon

And then there is also this trading system. It's like a bartering system with myself where I could drink alcohol. But every drink costs me a certain number of calories on the salt bike as well, or I could do an additional five K to kind of make up this whole bartering system I made with myself to kind of


09;59;47;20 - 09;59;46;25

Jon

pay the fee, if you.


09;59;46;25 - 09;59;46;01

Jon

Will, right?


09;59;45;17 - 09;59;27;13

Jon

And I realized, Uh. I kind of knew it was coming right as I was going through this thing, but I had made this determination that I would not give up like I would not stop running this time. I do whatever it took to get to my intended target because it wasn't the running the five K every day


09;59;27;13 - 09;59;12;05

Jon

that really meant anything to me. It was what it was, causing me to change in myself and how I perceived the world and how I perceived myself and interacted with you and the boys and everything. It was forcing change that permeated far beyond just going out and doing a couple of miles.


09;59;11;24 - 09;58;53;16

Jon

But the mileages is nothing. But because of the injuries that were already there from the previous time and because of these other things I've realized fairly early on around the month mark, I wasn't going to make it to the 110 day mark if something that changed the load on my body from.


09;58;52;09 - 09;58;36;09

Jon

The additional miles and cycling from drinking was too much with the run for the injuries that were still fairly recent. It was also the inflammation of all that sugar and all that alcohol was also causing issues. So it came to this point.


09;58;36;09 - 09;58;22;00

Jon

We're on September fourth. I realized as I was running. I would either have to stop drinking and do whatever it frickin took beyond that to ensure that I was, you know, stretching and recovering properly, sleeping properly, going to bed early enough.


09;58;20;17 - 09;58;05;28

Jon

My diet was healthy enough. All these things to get to this target and the entire purpose of this last contract was am I willing to do what it takes to stick with it and go the distance? That was the it was a mini experiment, a hypothesis for myself.


09;58;05;11 - 09;58;05;05

Jon

Kind.


09;58;05;05 - 09;57;48;01

Jon

Of like, you know, we have the grit there and all these other things. Can I do it on a micro scale? And I chose to write so from September fourth, I didn't drink a drop started stretching more differently, watch my diet more and things like that, and learn a lot about myself over the rest of the contract


09;57;47;24 - 09;57;35;29

Lindsey

. one. At first you did. You did find yourself like within that first week of not drinking. You did want more sugar because alcohol does convert to sugar in your body and it's almost like your brain was telling you you needed it.


09;57;35;18 - 09;57;15;02

Lindsey

And then the other thing, too, that I found that was really interesting that you've commented on a lot is how you have felt buzzed or in a sense, drunk when you've not had any alcohol. And I think that was something to be really aware of, and I thought it was really interesting to just like, not not interesting


09;57;15;02 - 09;56;56;01

Lindsey

to watch you. But interesting to have you realize that your mind is already trying to numb yourself in general when you get into productive flows, if you want to call it that. But that alcohol makes it that much harder for you to push further than your capabilities right now.


09;56;55;25 - 09;56;47;26

Lindsey

And I think that was something that was really interesting to kind of, you know, be aware of and discover. And I thought it was, yeah, I thought it was interesting.


09;56;47;12 - 09;56;46;16

Jon

Well, like in full.


09;56;46;16 - 09;56;33;19

Jon

Transparency, the drinking thing was a big deal for me, right? I started drinking was 13 and it was a normal part of my life from that point forward. I then went to college drinking, you know, after university joined the army.


09;56;33;13 - 09;56;33;04

Lindsey

Yeah.


09;56;32;18 - 09;56;31;29

Jon

There's a.


09;56;30;22 - 09;56;28;24

Lindsey

It's like a good old boys society.


09;56;28;07 - 09;56;27;15

Jon

Well, then.


09;56;27;01 - 09;56;12;17

Jon

There's a lot of alcohol consumed the military, so I fit right in and I did good and and then we went to live in places where there bourbon clubs and all these things. So like drinking has just been norm for life and I could put it down and it was such a normal part of my life that


09;56;12;05 - 09;55;56;15

Jon

I was a high. The way I look at it is I was a highly functioning alcoholic. I had like ultra high functioning alcoholic, but I didn't want to go a day without drinking. If I could, I could say no, not, but I was also very good at persuading myself into.


09;55;56;08 - 09;55;40;04

Jon

And it was at the point where I knew I was not happy with this habit, those creation. So when I decided to stop, I was giving up. You know, most of my memories of as an adult through being a child when I was 13.


09;55;39;27 - 09;55;26;14

Jon

Of having this consistent companion and routine and rhythm and ritual and everything that went with drinking. So it's kind of like this bigger moment of what am I going to do right? Like if I stop drinking, am I going to lose friends that I drink, right?


09;55;26;07 - 09;55;20;06

Jon

Am I going to be come my social because I kind of relied on it to be more social and social events, right?


09;55;20;03 - 09;55;18;14

Lindsey

You were less social to begin with?


09;55;17;28 - 09;55;14;12

Jon

Yeah. Well, that I learned. But you know, there's all those fears.


09;55;14;11 - 09;55;08;02

Lindsey

It also helped you really assess if functions were worth attending or not.


09;55;07;15 - 09;54;58;05

Jon

Well, and that's that's where I think we get to the benefit. So there's all this fear going into it. There's the realization it took the failure of the first time, everything else to come to this point. We're on September fourth, I'm running.


09;54;58;05 - 09;54;47;18

Jon

I think I did a 15 K run that day in the Sun and I was like, Nope, no matter what the cost. Like for myself personally, I felt a conviction in a calling to give it up. Finally.


09;54;46;16 - 09;54;37;17

Lindsey

And you had like soft challenges in the aspect of like, I'm not soft, like weak, but like, Oh, I won't drink for this amount of days.


09;54;37;13 - 09;54;37;03

Jon

Yeah.


09;54;36;29 - 09;54;36;16

Lindsey

You know.


09;54;36;11 - 09;54;36;00

Jon

I've always had.


09;54;36;00 - 09;54;34;28

Jon

The discipline not to.


09;54;34;27 - 09;54;25;00

Lindsey

Correct. And so that's why you call it like a soft child. But I never cut it was never, yeah, I'm going to give it up completely for longer than like 21 days, I think is what it was.


09;54;25;00 - 09;54;20;03

Jon

It was like fab dieting. Yeah, but it wasn't lifestyle change, and it doesn't work when you do that.


09;54;20;03 - 09;54;19;01

Jon

So you know all.


09;54;19;01 - 09;54;14;26

Jon

That to say there is it looking back, that was the biggest shift for.


09;54;14;26 - 09;54;01;10

Lindsey

Me, right? I guess my point to say all that was it wasn't just like this. Oh, let's try this out. It was like a building aspect of like, No, this is really ruining what I'm trying to to achieve.


09;54;00;28 - 09;53;58;09

Lindsey

So that's why I was mentioning that it was degrading.


09;53;58;09 - 09;53;45;07

Jon

And there's this really interesting thing because there's always a pleasure source in four months prior to this right and contracts before the 110 day one, I had been doing this bartering system right on the bike, the assault bike where I had to do certain number of calories per drink and stuff.


09;53;44;28 - 09;53;40;18

Jon

So I was teaching myself to associate what was pleasurable for most of my life.


09;53;40;08 - 09;53;39;14

Jon

Too costly.


09;53;39;06 - 09;53;38;25

Lindsey

Right.


09;53;38;25 - 09;53;32;18

Jon

And then I was starting to realize like, you know, you, we'd have dinner. I'd have a couple of drinks after a long day of.


09;53;32;18 - 09;53;24;25

Lindsey

Work, or it wasn't worth it because you'd be tired and you're like, Now I'm waking up early tomorrow, and I have all these extra things to do, and you're like, Oh, I'll just skip it tonight.


09;53;24;16 - 09;53;08;29

Jon

Yeah. So there's all that going into it. And and I think like very thoroughly, I've been transparent and vulnerable in some of the things that some people may not be comfortable sharing about themselves, but, you know, identified some that didn't like myself and yada yada yada ultimately made the choice to pay that price.


09;53;08;29 - 09;52;50;22

Jon

And here's the cool thing the lessons learned the fruit of giving that up and staying the course with it through my birthday through Thanksgiving, which was really challenging because we're also traveling and visiting family, and I'm so grateful I stuck with it didn't because I needed my wits about me to to be present, right?


09;52;50;09 - 09;52;33;29

Jon

And all these other things. There are some really funny learnings. Like you said, I would still get drunk. It felt like I was buzzed like especially we would have date nights on Wednesday nights and we'd go and take the kids to something and then go and get some supper or what have you.


09;52;33;18 - 09;52;21;22

Jon

And I would be like, I feel like I'm slurring my words and I realize I was slowing down. I don't know what my body was doing, but it was just this bizarro feeling of like, holy crud. I hit these moments of like degraded faculties.


09;52;21;21 - 09;52;08;13

Jon

And I always thought it was because I drank, but the drinking probably just accentuated. Yeah, these natural. Chemical rhythms that my body's going through anyways, and then like you said me in the first two weeks after giving it up, I was a sugar fiend.


09;52;08;07 - 09;52;04;28

Lindsey

You really were all the baked goods you like. Yeah, you can make that.


09;52;04;19 - 09;52;04;02

Jon

Oh man.


09;52;03;27 - 09;52;02;22

Lindsey

And then make some more.


09;52;01;25 - 09;51;56;11

Jon

But it makes sense, right? Because sugars, inflammatory or inflammatory alcohol converts to sugar and carbohydrates.


09;51;55;24 - 09;51;49;28

Lindsey

Well, and then it triggers your brain. So I get all plays back into all of that, and you can really see that within our kids, too.


09;51;49;23 - 09;51;48;01

Jon

The sugar piece, the sugar. They're not drinking.


09;51;48;00 - 09;51;41;22

Lindsey

No, no, no. They're not drinking, but the sugar piece. When they get a little bit, they add they they're like crack addicts looking for their next hit.


09;51;41;11 - 09;51;32;01

Jon

Correct and in unison. There's all these lessons from it. But over time, I realized like. Well, if I if I don't hang up someone because I don't drink, OK?


09;51;31;16 - 09;51;30;08

Lindsey

Yeah, was it a true friendship?


09;51;30;04 - 09;51;21;15

Jon

And then we'd see some friends and we're so grateful for in the last since September fourth to the end of it, it was like I lived every life experience in which I would have wanted to have a drink.


09;51;21;07 - 09;51;20;12

Lindsey

Yeah, really, though.


09;51;20;10 - 09;51;16;16

Jon

It was better for not having had one. So is this really interesting thing?


09;51;15;15 - 09;51;14;03

Lindsey

And did you lose any friends over it?


09;51;12;24 - 09;51;09;22

Jon

Herdy didn't have very many at this point, but no, I did not lose any of them.


09;51;09;16 - 09;51;05;24

Lindsey

Right? We've actually hung out with a couple of friends and it made no difference.


09;51;05;20 - 09;50;53;19

Jon

In fact, there is some gratitude of like, Oh my goodness, I've been trying to cut back or do this or that. And and it's been interesting because for me, looking back, it's like, OK, I attacked the things that scared me to give up to get to where I wanted to go.


09;50;53;19 - 09;50;45;07

Jon

And that was the benefit of this last contract, and I cultivated I grew in myself, a strength that I didn't have before. I practice something I wasn't practiced in.


09;50;45;01 - 09;50;22;12

Lindsey

Mm-Hmm. You've even mentioned quite a bit that how the days that you've woken up at 4:00 a.m. and then did your run, and on Sundays you'll come and snuggle me. But the days that you've done that or you've, you know, whatever, for some reason, the alarm didn't go off like that did happen one night and I was like


09;50;22;06 - 09;50;01;26

Lindsey

, I like 330. I was like, You didn't set the alarm, which was awful because I woke up at 3:30. But through those things it was you learned that if you didn't wake up 100% at 4:00 a.m. and go upstairs and work other than just like waking up, doing your right and then coming and snuggling me, you felt like


09;50;01;26 - 09;50;00;24

Lindsey

you had lost the day.


09;50;00;20 - 09;50;00;10

Jon

Mm hmm.


09;50;00;03 - 09;49;43;27

Lindsey

And so I think that was that's really, you know, worth talking about to you in the aspect of now you've lost two hours of your productive day because you would come up and work. Mm hmm. It wasn't like, Oh, I'm going to come up and be out of my bed at 4:00 a.m. and lay on the floor upstairs


09;49;43;27 - 09;49;43;02

Lindsey

in the office.


09;49;42;24 - 09;49;41;00

Jon

With the exception of the week, I was very ill.


09;49;40;20 - 09;49;25;18

Lindsey

That was that was fair. You did. Still, I you did still wake up every day at 4:00 a.m. because the alarm clock would still go off at 4:00 a.m. every single day. But I did request that you would go to bed at least early enough to offset the alarm clock.


09;49;25;18 - 09;49;24;22

Lindsey

Going to bed.


09;49;24;19 - 09;49;24;01

Jon

That week was.


09;49;23;21 - 09;49;12;14

Lindsey

That you did? Yeah, that one was hard, but you still did it. You still even walked on. I requested that you walked on the treadmill because it was a colder week as well. And I was really worried about some other things.


09;49;12;11 - 09;49;10;10

Jon

Well, I was really ill. I mean, it was it.


09;49;10;05 - 09;49;09;27

Lindsey

Was.


09;49;09;16 - 09;49;05;08

Jon

Know sick. Like, in normal circumstances, I would have just probably rested.


09;49;04;22 - 09;48;57;06

Lindsey

Yeah, it was when I say I requested, it's because I know you well enough to know that most of the time you'll say, Go get fluffed.


09;48;56;25 - 09;48;56;13

Jon

Yeah.


09;48;55;09 - 09;48;45;23

Lindsey

And I was like, I'm genuinely concerned about these things to the point where most of the time I don't even request because I know it's going to be a no. But this time I was like, I don't know about this one.


09;48;45;21 - 09;48;42;16

Lindsey

This one I was I was pretty nervous about Anderson.


09;48;42;12 - 09;48;40;04

Jon

And here's the reason most of the time it's you. No.


09;48;39;19 - 09;48;26;22

Lindsey

It's because it's me wanting comfort versus you wanting comfort, because it's me being selfish and wanting you to stay in bed and snuggle with me until 6:00 a.m. and it's certain things like that, and it's OK for you to say no.


09;48;25;06 - 09;48;17;24

Jon

Yeah, that's a really fair point, completely different than what I was thinking. Oh, sorry, but no, I'm not saying you're sorry. I'm really grateful you shared it, though.


09;48;17;21 - 09;48;15;11

Jon

Well, I'm really grateful.


09;48;15;11 - 09;48;00;09

Jon

You shared it, though, because that's, I think, a powerful thing and a quick tangent to pull in that thread. I think a lot of couples have tension when pursuing something, right? And you and I have talked about these contracts, these contracts are self cultivating, right?


09;48;00;09 - 09;47;49;07

Jon

So they're focused on me, growing myself. But the fruit, the gift, the outcome of that is something that I think he and the boys, at least in my mind, I hope will benefit from.


09;47;48;14 - 09;47;29;02

Lindsey

I think we have, I think, kind of goes back to. We were talking over this last night and I go back to that same analogy of the what's in your bag? And I was talking about it from a land navigation perspective, which is more of a military term, I would assume, or an outdoors term.


09;47;28;24 - 09;47;06;25

Lindsey

I guess Boy Scouts type of thing is basically where you're looking with a compass for different routes or areas or points through climbing or hiking through a woods. And I think it's really interesting, you know, that all of these would be points you were looking to go towards and you would adjust along your courses to figure out


09;47;06;25 - 09;46;58;04

Lindsey

these different points. And then you had this great idea of like, I had to figure out what I actually had that was or was not throwing me off.


09;46;55;14 - 09;46;53;01

Jon

Yeah, so, yeah.


09;46;52;21 - 09;46;39;12

Jon

So I mean, like inland education, you're you're located somewhere and you want to get to a different location. Right? And a great tool for that is typically you have a map and a compass and a compass tells you what direction you're traveling, which is what you're just talking about.


09;46;39;12 - 09;46;21;26

Jon

And what we're referencing there specifically is, you know, through the creation of these contracts in this last 110 day one, I had a target, right? It's like seeing a mountain peak or some distinct landmark on the horizon. But I wanted to get to you, right, right.


09;46;21;26 - 09;46;09;17

Jon

Or, you know, I wanted, you know, now even better yet, I want to travel north, so I shoot north on my compass and I see this landmark. I'm like, Okay, that's where I have to go. So I don't always have to look at the compass to get there.


09;46;09;17 - 09;45;50;27

Jon

I know I'm traveling in the right direction. And I used the analogy you're discussing of. You know, drinking was part of my life, it was in my my bag that I carried with me on this journey and it took me kind of getting knocked down, losing the bag for a bit and realizing that when I checked my


09;45;50;27 - 09;45;45;16

Jon

direction with the compass, it wasn't at the landmark. I saw North was somewhere else. It was off.


09;45;45;13 - 09;45;44;07

Lindsey

Yeah, throw you off course.


09;45;44;07 - 09;45;28;07

Jon

It threw me off course. And then when I found, you know, drinking again, this item in my bag twofold metaphor and I look through the compass again. It pointed back to the landmark and I realized if I set down the bag, walked away and use the compass, it would point back to True North.


09;45;27;27 - 09;45;08;03

Jon

And through that, there's this discovery process of realizing that certain parts of my life may be skewing how I can use my tools to see what direction I really went traveling. And you brought up a different analogy of like seeing the world through glasses, and you don't realize that you're seeing the world through whatever tinted glasses and


09;45;08;03 - 09;45;04;25

Jon

to take them off, step back and evaluate what you're looking at.


09;45;04;19 - 09;45;02;03

Lindsey

Yeah, it's a lot of power and perspective.


09;45;01;27 - 09;44;47;22

Jon

Yeah, that perspective is incredibly powerful. And so there's this value in evaluating. What you're carrying with you and trying to do your best to determine, is it potentially throwing me off course without me knowing it?


09;44;47;06 - 09;44;33;28

Lindsey

Whether it's good or bad, because even some of the good could be throwing you off course. And that, I think is is something that's difficult to genuinely look at and go, Wow, I didn't realize that even this good.


09;44;33;07 - 09;44;17;03

Lindsey

Like in drinking, it's fun. It's social. That could be a good aspect of it, right? Because you get to do it. It's a communal thing. But on the other end of that, it, you know, you don't control yourself as well in general and like alcohol, alters your brain.


09;44;16;25 - 09;44;09;06

Lindsey

Mm-Hmm. So that can be the bad. So you have to figure out, you know, which way do I want to stay? Which way do I want to go?


09;44;07;20 - 09;43;51;17

Jon

You're absolutely correct, and ultimately for myself on a personal level, right, and I want to talk about the applicability of this also for others at some point, but I realize like I'm not trying to create contracts with myself that are short duration, you know, 30 to 100 days.


09;43;51;07 - 09;43;39;27

Jon

What I'm really doing is building the strength in a way that I have the. Courage to actually tackle lifestyle change and things that are kind of difficult for me to.


09;43;39;07 - 09;43;37;09

Jon

Grasp doing right.


09;43;35;27 - 09;43;21;14

Jon

And I'm using these contracts as a tool to get there. But one of the things I've had in my mind is I designed a new contract that's going to start. On the 30th of November, so tomorrow and so I've only had 48 hours between contracts here.


09;43;20;02 - 09;43;18;29

Jon

And it's going to be 100 days.


09;43;18;16 - 09;43;13;20

Lindsey

There will be no running limited. I know it's not every day, though.


09;43;13;10 - 09;43;12;07

Jon

Yeah, I'm going to.


09;43;11;22 - 09;43;09;18

Lindsey

We're going to take a break from this for a little bit and.


09;43;09;18 - 09;42;52;15

Jon

Let's just talk through it real quick. But but ultimately, what I see is I would like to create. Potentially the next contract to be a year long one. And the reason why is I don't want, you know, we talked to the drinking I had like fab diet, drinking things for like 21 days and now it's been months


09;42;52;15 - 09;42;38;21

Jon

of it and my relationship is different like I have. I did have some drinks yesterday and I've had some today, and that's good and well, it's part of my reward. It's part of the celebrations of all these things, but I don't feel the same about it.


09;42;38;10 - 09;42;15;28

Jon

I would say I. Have no desire to go back to how it was used to with the diet things. Now it's like, OK, this is cool, but it's really not that cool, which is a huge difference. My perspective is change have actually grown to value sobriety, a sober mind that can, at eight 9:00 at night, get back


09;42;15;28 - 09;42;11;28

Jon

up and start going again because it's not weighted down by something, right? You know?


09;42;11;01 - 09;41;50;09

Lindsey

Well, you've talked about a lot of how you felt without like physically have felt without alcohol and then introducing it again, you know, just kind of sometimes alcohol just makes you feel it'll make you feel bloated and just like these different things that you go through, not even just the mental fatigue, but the physical like inner workings


09;41;50;09 - 09;41;45;08

Lindsey

of your intestines and stomach and all those other things. And you just feel gross in a sense.


09;41;45;00 - 09;41;44;26

Jon

Well.


09;41;44;16 - 09;41;43;26

Lindsey

As well.


09;41;43;18 - 09;41;43;12

Jon

Yeah.


09;41;43;12 - 09;41;32;16

Jon

And this is all aimed at. Like I said, cultivating character, which means I want to create the best possible version of myself. And I realized towards the end of the contract that I was getting scared of ever having a drink again.


09;41;32;13 - 09;41;32;02

Lindsey

Right?


09;41;32;01 - 09;41;25;17

Jon

Yeah, because I saw what I was becoming, not drinking and I loved it. And I remembered.


09;41;25;16 - 09;41;12;07

Lindsey

You've had this right and left balance to be able to look at one side. This is me when I've been drinking and I've been high functioning and I've done a lot of really productive things. But look how much more I've done without it.


09;41;11;24 - 09;41;09;12

Lindsey

And I think that's been really cool to watch and see, too.


09;41;09;11 - 09;41;05;12