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32. Taking Action _ New Beginnings



 

Today I sit down with Lindsey Mayo and we discuss the new direction of The Grit Theory given some significant changes. Highlights include: - Addressing change - Defining Grit - Transforming "nouns" to "verbs" - It Starts With You - Start Small, Start Today Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

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08;06;40;09 - 08;06;33;21

Jon

Hello, everyone, welcome to The Grit Theory, this is your host, Jonathan Mayo, and today I am joined by Lindsey Mayo. How are you?


08;06;33;14 - 08;06;32;23

Lindsey

I'm good. How are you?


08;06;32;11 - 08;06;13;07

Jon

I am doing well. So bit of a different flavor, right? We're going to hear a little bit. We're going to talk about two primary things. They have a bit of conversation there, but the first one is what has changed because changes occurred in the second one is where I'm going with The Grit Theory, where we are going


08;06;12;27 - 08;06;01;14

Jon

with The Grit Theory collectively of our listeners and anyone who participates. Correct. Right. So first, what has changed for one, Ehrenstein here look a little obvious.


08;06;01;12 - 08;05;59;23

Lindsey

Yeah, I don't look very much like him at all.


08;05;59;16 - 08;05;40;13

Jon

I'm grateful. I'm grateful that you don't look like Aaron. I think he understands. So real, real short on that. He has to handle some other business, so he's going to handle his stuff. And we were able to part ways with grace and protect our friendship and do good things there.


08;05;40;12 - 08;05;27;19

Jon

So all in all that, that's positive. It's always hard to say goodbye to a partner, especially when you build something for a while and put a lot of effort into it. But it was the necessary call for where he is in life right now.


08;05;27;18 - 08;05;25;03

Jon

And I totally respect that, right? Yeah.


08;05;24;17 - 08;05;21;15

Lindsey

And that is it's hard to to do that.


08;05;20;20 - 08;05;08;02

Jon

Yes. I mean, sometimes it's hard to say yes or no to things, but that's kind of part of this whole life thing. And frankly, it also, you know that that change is sparked a lot, which is really the bulk of what we're going to talk about today.


08;05;07;23 - 08;04;49;19

Jon

Right, right. Where's The Grit Theory going? What? What am I going to do now, right? I think that's where the discussion comes in because I've taken a step back, like if you if you do anything in something, significant changes in the equation of what you do, right?


08;04;49;14 - 08;04;27;27

Jon

For example, here, Aaron's not here anymore. I have a couple of choices I can throw in the towel. That is a choice, right? Oh dear. That is a choice which I'm not taking. There's another choice where I can try to just duplicate what I was doing with here and I'm fixing by my guys.


08;04;27;27 - 08;04;11;01

Jon

I screwed it up, which I don't think works well. Right? You can't recreate something when you're missing a huge piece of the the. Equation. And then the third option is I can take assessment of what I've done, where I want to go and what resources I have in front of me.


08;04;10;18 - 08;03;54;10

Lindsey

It's on you to go into a really good groove together, too. So your conversation was flowing really well and you know, you had you think along the same lines. So during your interviews and just, you know, not necessarily interviews, but just when you had guests and things like that on the shows you're talking, you know, talking about


08;03;54;10 - 08;03;48;07

Lindsey

grit in their stories. You both had different ideas to pull on and brought a lot to the conversation.


08;03;48;07 - 08;03;37;01

Jon

So correct so that, you know, you know, given all that, you just have to take assessment of what's changed and then what can I do with what I have, right? Like, you can want the same ingredients, but if they're gone, they're gone.


08;03;36;22 - 08;03;17;24

Jon

So, so what are you going to do? Right. And that's really what I've been spending the last week we can have pondering talking with you about going through this, like structurally, there's now a single host, but I plan on having some regulars, right, right, who are on the show quite often.


08;03;17;23 - 08;03;06;27

Jon

Like you, I want to have on the show as much as possible. Kirk hasn't been on yet, but love to see him is welcome any time. If Aaron can make it, that would be sweet and we'll kind of have this crew.


08;03;06;25 - 08;03;02;22

Jon

Yeah, there's going to be a crew cycles through. Yeah, yeah. Make it more of a community effort.


08;03;02;16 - 08;02;59;13

Lindsey

People who see the same vision share the same vision. Want to walk the same line?


08;02;59;08 - 08;02;52;22

Jon

Correct. So I'm kind of excited to see how that works out. You know, and then and gives.


08;02;52;22 - 08;02;51;00

Lindsey

Us lots of different perspectives to.


08;02;50;22 - 08;02;34;28

Jon

It'll flood with perspectives. It'll make it fun and entertaining for our guests. It'll keep the conversation lively and fresh. So on a structural level, excited for that. Right. And we're working to get all like the back backend stuff handled so we can have a near seamless thing there.


08;02;34;21 - 08;02;20;23

Jon

That's kind of fun, but those are the structural pieces, and those are the easy pieces. Now that they're decided. The the other stuff is kind of more fun and know I was thinking about the growth here because you kind of challenge when you're OK, what's the goal of the growth theory, right?


08;02;20;12 - 08;02;18;13

Jon

And what are we doing with that?


08;02;16;29 - 08;02;02;24

Lindsey

Yeah. What's your direction? What's your purpose? What's your statement? Do you have one? Yeah, those were questions I posed to you earlier this week so we can actually think about them and not just like, Oh, well, we think it's this correct so that we've actually been able to really go, No, this is it.


08;02;02;23 - 08;01;58;13

Lindsey

This is why we've been doing this, this much more. And now we really want to press in.


08;01;58;02 - 08;01;46;13

Jon

two and really pressing into what we're about to jump to so. So to start, I drafted a goal for the theory and it's not complete, but we're in a journey here to everyone who listens. Everyone who's a part of this is in a journey, right?


08;01;46;13 - 08;01;44;06

Lindsey

And we want to be really transparent. Yeah.


08;01;43;20 - 08;01;24;27

Jon

But I don't. We're building this thing right now. So you're part of building it. So but the goal, I just read it real quick. So my my goal with The Grit Theory is to encourage people to be brave enough to begin leading themselves so that they can become someone worthy of leadership in their home and after their


08;01;24;27 - 08;01;23;22

Jon

home, their community.


08;01;23;12 - 08;01;09;22

Lindsey

Yeah, I was just listening to another podcast, Stan Crenshaw's podcast and a journalist on there, and she was talking about how rare courage has become. Yeah. And it's kind of one of those things where it's fizzled out a little bit.


08;01;08;20 - 08;01;08;12

Jon

Well.


08;01;08;04 - 08;01;00;17

Lindsey

So, so so that goes in line with what you're just talking about, right, like you can't you can't develop these things if it doesn't start with you.


08;01;00;07 - 08;00;48;01

Jon

Correct. And here's the direct tie in, right? So the earlier you charge, when you're like, That's a great way. Right? That's a great like vision. Big fuzzy thing. But the how the heck do you apply it? Yeah. And there's a few thoughts into that.


08;00;48;01 - 08;00;29;03

Jon

So one, it ties into it directly because the definition for great gritz a noun. Right. Right? And the definition is bravery, courage and determination despite difficulty. All right. That's perfect. Bravery, courage and determination despite difficulty. Well, how can we apply the big picture to this?


08;00;28;27 - 08;00;11;06

Jon

I want to encourage people to face a difficult things head on where they're weak, right? And uh, earlier this week, I was listening to a conversation and it was talking about the idea of a gentleman put forth like the eastern gentleman put forth by Confucius in his works, the The Analects.


08;00;10;23 - 09;59;49;08

Jon

And the central premise is you cannot lead a state without being able to lead your family. You cannot lead your family without being able to lead yourself, right? And it all starts with the self. So how the heck do you put into action this big goal of encouraging someone to be brave enough to fix themselves so that


09;59;49;08 - 09;59;35;26

Jon

they can then fix their family and fix their thing? How can they have the courage to challenge their own demons, their weaknesses, their softness? It starts with yourself. If you're fat, get in shape. If your money's not in order, begin to build the budget.


09;59;35;18 - 09;59;34;09

Lindsey

You know. Yeah, small steps.


09;59;34;06 - 09;59;29;29

Jon

If you can't sleep, if you sleep in too much, set an alarm and stick to it. Right?


09;59;29;23 - 09;59;18;20

Lindsey

And like Aaron had even said, just at five minutes, you know, wake up five minutes earlier than you normally do start small. Or if you need to wake up 15 minutes before, you know, just like, yeah, don't try to jump the hour.


09;59;18;17 - 09;59;14;19

Lindsey

Because if you're, you know, wanting to wake up at five, but you struggle waking up at six.


09;59;13;24 - 09;59;12;24

Jon

Yeah, I'd say.


09;59;12;20 - 09;59;11;23

Lindsey

Small steps at a.


09;59;11;23 - 09;59;09;23

Jon

Time. The change has to be proportional to the.


09;59;09;23 - 09;59;07;18

Lindsey

Reward, and then you wake up at 4:00 a.m..


09;59;07;04 - 09;59;03;24

Jon

I think the change just has to be proportional to the reward. Yeah, right.


09;59;03;24 - 09;58;58;25

Lindsey

And and knowing how willing are you doing are going to be doing it. Like, how willing are you to do it?


09;58;58;20 - 09;58;46;26

Jon

Correct. And sometimes you have to build that muscle and you have to have the humility to say to to address yourself realistically on what you believe you're capable of or not. Right? It sounds great when you're arrested and fed at night.


09;58;46;18 - 09;58;35;28

Jon

Some waking up at four till four comes. If you wake up at seven every day, that's a huge jump. So to your point, if it's a smaller thing, that's fine. But like you apply it by doing small things in that grows right?


09;58;35;27 - 09;58;24;22

Lindsey

Yeah, absolutely. When you one week, you do it this way and then you add on to it. Yeah. So that way it's accumulating into your change, but is breaking your habits correct?


09;58;24;22 - 09;58;13;13

Jon

And that's the critical thing, because breaking your habits, breaking what you condition yourself to everyone has. I think there's this fallacy of thought where it's like, I'm going to rise to the occasion.


09;58;13;04 - 09;58;12;17

Lindsey

Right, right.


09;58;12;07 - 09;57;52;29

Jon

And it's it's false. When something happens, you're going to fall to the lowest common denominator, right? Whether that's your training or your experience or what have you. And if you don't prepare yourself, if you don't hone yourself and create something of yourself in the day in and day out so that you have a threshold that's higher when


09;57;52;29 - 09;57;38;03

Jon

this stuff hits the fan, you're going to fall to whatever your weaknesses. And that's what we're talking about here. We want to condition ourselves for chaos. We want to increase our courage and bravery in despite difficulty. So that and.


09;57;38;03 - 09;57;36;16

Lindsey

Be willing to stand against the grain.


09;57;35;18 - 09;57;21;09

Jon

That's a byproduct. Right? If you begin to tell yourself no to things you want. If you begin to make yourself do things you don't want to because it improves you over time that grows into, have encouraged, have hard conversations with people.


09;57;20;27 - 09;57;17;03

Jon

Right? And over time, that grows into courage to act.


09;57;16;26 - 09;57;15;24

Lindsey

Yeah. Becomes bold.


09;57;15;09 - 09;57;00;06

Jon

Correct. So, so the seed that I want to plant is the courage to start with yourself. And that's really a lifelong pursuit. And the goal is that over time, that'll create a movement of people who are willing to embrace grit.


09;56;59;02 - 09;56;40;25

Jon

Work to hone it, embrace it and forge ahead on. So that they can become agents of good in their communities, their homes and for themselves. Yeah, but it starts with the self. Yeah, so that's the thought there.


09;56;40;11 - 09;56;36;05

Lindsey

Right, and that's kind of the direction we want theory to go.


09;56;35;09 - 09;56;30;04

Jon

That's exactly the direction, you know, so we want it to go, and that's what we're going to be working to do.


09;56;30;03 - 09;56;24;17

Lindsey

We want to change the noun into a verb because we want to no longer just be a solitary want to be action.


09;56;24;07 - 09;56;12;15

Jon

Yes, we want it to be an action. The noun to the verb, Bucky said. A love that the theory to practice. Right. And an idea into a way of active being.


09;56;12;03 - 09;55;56;14

Lindsey

Yeah and taking the guests stories that wow. That sounds great. That's super cool. But OK, now how do I apply it right? Like, how do I pull from these different guests and go, this is the grit that I could even apply?


09;55;56;01 - 09;55;43;23

Lindsey

You know, this is what they did, and I can for sure, take it and apply it as well. So we want to kind of, you know, sift through and look through our guests and just friends and people and be like, these are common denominators.


09;55;43;15 - 09;55;26;05

Lindsey

These are common grounds that we're seeing through people who have grit, who've walked the hard way, who've purposely chosen difficulty. And this is how we can make it, not make it. But this is how we can show others like, Hey, this is a tangible thought.


09;55;26;04 - 09;55;09;29

Lindsey

This is a tangible action. Instead of just going, wow, his story was really cool. He did have a lot of grit and then moving on with your life? No, I want this to change you. Like, if this doesn't change you, if this doesn't influence you, then we got to find something else that's going to, you know, in


09;55;09;23 - 09;55;08;05

Lindsey

like saturate you.


09;55;07;25 - 09;55;00;03

Jon

It's it's 100% true, and it's amazing how fast this grows. I say fast over the last three years, it's really tremendously changed my life.


09;54;59;29 - 09;54;59;03

Lindsey

Yeah, absolutely.


09;54;58;24 - 09;54;58;12

Jon

Really.


09;54;58;11 - 09;54;45;26

Lindsey

You're getting you're honing it in. It is honing this. Last year you found it in that much more. You figured out some small steps to be like this will have massive change for me. This has had massive change for my family.


09;54;45;18 - 09;54;43;13

Lindsey

And now I'm getting into my community.


09;54;43;00 - 09;54;30;05

Jon

Yeah, right now you're absolutely right. Right now I am going through the transitionary period of walking into being. Bold enough, having enough grit to actually speak out for my community.


09;54;30;00 - 09;54;29;19

Lindsey

Right.


09;54;29;18 - 09;54;28;15

Jon

And it is quite.


09;54;28;08 - 09;54;12;05

Lindsey

Done the work for yourself, and you're still doing the work for yourself, so it's not like, Oh, I've mastered self. You know, and now I'm going to move on to this next step. No self is always going to be in there because different seasons as we grow and things like that will absolutely always change.


09;54;11;27 - 09;54;00;27

Jon

You're 100% correct. This is a lifelong pursuit of growth that I'm going to have to go, and everyone who does this has to grow. But I'm just not screwed up enough now that I'm actually leading my family well.


09;54;00;05 - 09;53;59;12

Jon

Would you agree with that?


09;53;59;11 - 09;53;58;25

Lindsey

Absolutely.


09;53;58;18 - 09;53;54;26

Jon

When you're the person who matters on that decision, right? Because you're the ultimate judge of that.


09;53;54;11 - 09;53;50;16

Lindsey

All very frankly telling you if you're not that and I know you, you know, I will.


09;53;50;15 - 09;53;31;29

Jon

If you don't know Lindsey, she is very honest and she has told me when I'm feeling in the past. So to hear that. But but now that I have myself in order, right? Like, just like there's nothing I won't give up to become a better human being, to better lead you and my family and to better be


09;53;31;29 - 09;53;25;14

Jon

able to influence things positively. There's nothing, right? Drinking don't care gave it up, right? Comfort.


09;53;25;14 - 09;53;13;28

Lindsey

Don't care. What was it? We were talking with a friend and it was anything that you can sell as long as it's not my family and my kids or my wife and my children and my dogs. It's all there's a price for all of it.


09;53;13;25 - 09;53;09;05

Jon

And the dogs are even there's a price. It's really the wife and kids, right? There's zero price, zero.


09;53;09;05 - 09;53;07;04

Lindsey

Price and you can't pay me enough money for that.


09;53;06;22 - 09;53;00;29

Jon

And it's important, right? But you have to start with the humility enough to realize that you've not arrived.


09;53;00;10 - 09;52;58;29

Lindsey

And then, yeah, and then.


09;52;58;29 - 09;52;58;03

Jon

Start putting in the work.


09;52;58;00 - 09;52;42;15

Lindsey

Right? And I'm not saying I've arrived, but I think there's absolutely way, much more growth and things like that, too. So I'm even doing the self, you know, transformation and and pushing myself and making sure that I'm still, you know, walking in that path to be better.


09;52;42;00 - 09;52;27;28

Lindsey

But I also see that, you know, our boys are getting older and the family, our family is doing well now. It changes on a drop of a dime around here, a drop of a hat because it just is what it is.


09;52;27;19 - 09;52;17;17

Lindsey

But we're able to get a community involvement going and that's been really good and that's been nice. But it's still I still have to work on myself first.


09;52;17;11 - 09;52;03;26

Jon

We have to and I think what you talk about was like, life happens, right, dogs die. Yesterday, we were nursing. Over the past few days, we've been nursing piglets and losing some. And yeah, you know, like, we have a small farm, we got the kids, we have animals, we have a lot of liabilities, people, things that we


09;52;03;26 - 09;51;51;19

Jon

love that can get hurt and die. And that's a part of life, right? And you have. But our resiliency is our building and really what's happening here. And I want to play with this idea, right? So I'm going to read the definition of grit again as a noun, but I'm going to make it a verb.


09;51;51;12 - 09;51;37;17

Jon

And then I'm going to say why I want to respond so passionately, why I'm jumping in right now on so many levels. And then I think that's a good, a good catalyst for us to think about. But grid as a noun is bravery, courage and determination despite difficulty.


09;51;37;04 - 09;51;20;13

Jon

Grit is a verb or as as a description would be, to be brave, courageous and determined despite difficulty or adversity. Adversity? Right? Yeah. And what's really transformed me to say, You know what? Screw it, I'm going to be brave despite discomfort.


09;51;20;13 - 09;51;05;00

Jon

I'm going to be courageous and push forward, and I don't care about the difficulty I'm fighting with everything I have. What am I fighting for? I'm fighting for? Our country and the rights that it has given us.


09;51;04;23 - 09;51;04;04

Lindsey

And the freedoms.


09;51;04;04 - 09;50;48;29

Jon

And the freedoms that it has given us, freedom is not free. And I want to do everything in my ability. The buck is going to stop with me. It's not going to my children. By the time they're grown and can handle this, we will have either protected freedom.


09;50;48;20 - 09;50;36;17

Jon

We have protected the rights laid out in the Bill of Rights in the Constitution and preserved our democracy and way of being so that we can continue the good and necessary work to improve this world. Or we will have lost it by the time our kids are grown.


09;50;36;16 - 09;50;35;12

Jon

Right and.


09;50;35;03 - 09;50;32;09

Lindsey

Terrifying. If you don't understand or grasp that.


09;50;32;00 - 09;50;21;05

Jon

It absolutely. And I am so passionately on board for saying I will not shield my eyes. I will not turn away my gaze from the wickedness. I'm seeing the stupidity I'm seeing in.


09;50;21;05 - 09;50;19;16

Lindsey

The run out of it. Head on.


09;50;19;14 - 09;50;18;01

Jon

Correct. I'm going to wage warning.


09;50;18;00 - 09;50;17;20

Lindsey

And kill.


09;50;17;20 - 09;50;02;17

Jon

It. I'm going to wage war on divisiveness. I'm going to wage war on the lies. I'm going to wage war on the consolidation of power. And I'm going to stand for a limited government, for truth, for unity, for respect and love of one another.


09;50;02;09 - 09;49;47;10

Jon

Because united, as a people, we can stand right. And if we learn to love and respect each other, if we can just remember that, then we have one heck of a shot at preserving what has made this the greatest country to live in in human history.


09;49;47;01 - 09;49;36;22

Jon

And we can continue to make it the greatest country in human history because our work is not done under the freedoms and auspices that we have on this fertile soil. And there are so many people have gotten fat off of freedom.


09;49;36;05 - 09;49;17;05

Jon

It's time to wake up and protect this gift and use it for what it's meant to be used, not just to continue getting fat. So that's where the passion comes in for why the heck do I care? That's why I started entrenched, which is another show that's directly looking at having intentional conversation across difficulty to build and


09;49;17;05 - 09;49;15;14

Jon

forward, comfortable conversation.


09;49;15;11 - 09;48;57;22

Lindsey

Uncomfortable because your partner in that you guys don't see eye to eye on a lot of the things, but you're willing to have open, honest conversation and going, You know what? I can see it that way. Correct. And and I'm willing to sit and think on that and see how that, you know, that works for me.


09;48;57;12 - 09;48;57;00

Jon

Correct.


09;48;56;23 - 09;48;47;10

Lindsey

And then and then going, you know, I think it's OK to agree to disagree, but we can still love one another and and have a friendship over this.


09;48;47;07 - 09;48;32;06

Jon

Well, the premise is different and entrenched. We're looking to gain understanding to create common ground that we can agree on. Yeah, absolutely. And be stronger for and respect each other and so that we can then actually have problem solving approaches to the problems.


09;48;32;02 - 09;48;31;01

Jon

Right, right. And just the.


09;48;31;01 - 09;48;29;16

Lindsey

Divisiveness or the.


09;48;29;15 - 09;48;28;27

Jon

Divisiveness.


09;48;28;18 - 09;48;19;04

Lindsey

Bring bring the common ground back to the view instead of like, Oh, these are all the things we disagree on. Well, those three things are less than the ten things that we do agree on.


09;48;19;03 - 09;48;17;23

Jon

And they're less essential, right?


09;48;17;16 - 09;48;07;02

Lindsey

And they don't technically, they don't matter. I don't care if you like more salt on your food than I do. Mm hmm. It's like the very both eating steak. So correct. The salt shouldn't matter.


09;48;06;19 - 09;48;05;14

Jon

Entrenched his fighting.


09;48;05;11 - 09;48;03;18

Lindsey

Feel like the salt matters. But you know.


09;48;03;11 - 09;47;47;16

Jon

I'm entrenched, is fighting for unity despite differences and doing the difficult conversations to intentionally pursue where we agree so that we can then come back to solving the problems. Yeah, but but defining and never forgetting where we agree and where we're together first.


09;47;47;09 - 09;47;32;16

Jon

It's a exercise in the golden rule and learning to treat someone like you want to be treated, to love them, to respect them, despite how different they are, so that you can then stand together in that unity, protect each other's rights and freedoms, and then try to make the world a better place from your differences, right?


09;47;32;16 - 09;47;13;24

Jon

Those differences make this place beautiful, and The Grit Theory is looking at creating the courage, the attributes, the grit that's necessary to have the intestinal fortitude to engage in conversations like that so we can do the hard work that's necessary to undo the freaking cancer of divisiveness that's plaguing our country right now.


09;47;13;23 - 09;47;12;26

Lindsey

Yeah, absolutely.


09;47;12;11 - 09;47;09;12

Jon

Because we've got little kiddos who need it. Yeah, goodness sake.


09;47;09;12 - 09;47;00;27

Lindsey

We need a generation that comes after us. And still, we still have a lot of time while hopefully we still have a lot of time to to move as well.


09;47;00;03 - 09;46;37;04

Jon

So with that, we're at a crossroads. And we've chosen to buckle down, assess everything that's going on in what I want to do is with renewed energy, despite the loss and despite the change in direction, I want to attack this thing with renewed energy, with intentional purpose and push forward to empower people to be able to improve


09;46;37;04 - 09;46;33;22

Jon

themselves and the lives they lead with those around them, right?


09;46;33;16 - 09;46;32;16

Lindsey

So into action.


09;46;32;16 - 09;46;23;05

Jon

Turn it into action. So for today, if we had to leave everyone with one simple way on how they can put some of what they've heard today into action, what any ideas come to mind for you?


09;46;22;27 - 09;46;21;05

Lindsey

It goes back to that start small.


09;46;20;28 - 09;46;20;03

Jon

You have to start to pick.


09;46;20;03 - 09;46;17;09

Lindsey

one thing and and start changing that today.


09;46;16;08 - 09;46;14;29

Jon

No excuse to day to.


09;46;14;29 - 09;46;09;23

Lindsey

Day pick something and do it unless it's the waking up early, figure out something different. Yeah, pick a different one.


09;46;09;16 - 09;46;08;16

Jon

Yeah, do something.


09;46;08;08 - 09;46;06;10

Lindsey

Drink, drink an extra glass of water.


09;46;06;01 - 09;46;05;02

Jon

So start small.


09;46;04;29 - 09;46;04;08

Lindsey

Whatever it is.


09;46;03;28 - 09;45;53;11

Jon

All right. Well, start small. And here's the line. Bottom line, right? If what you saw or heard today was if it was impactful to you, please share it right. Please share it.

 

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