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31. Change is in the Air



 

Today we have a heart-to-heart discussion that will affect how the Grit Theory continues its journey. Highlights include: -Conviction Over Comfort. -Pursuing your ideal. -Becoming better men. -Change happens, how do you adapt? -A new future. -The journey continues. Like today’s conversation? SHARE IT! Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

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08;06;36;27 - 08;06;31;07

Jon

Hello, everyone. Welcome to The Grit Theory where we believe in facing difficulty head on.


08;06;30;23 - 08;06;14;06

Aaron

These are stories of inspiration. We applaud grit, tenacity, resilience, the struggle in the pursuit of better, more intentional lives. We're going to do a little bit of a wrap this morning.


08;06;13;24 - 08;06;06;17

Jon

Yeah, we're just going to free flow. Yeah, it's funny. We almost didn't record because our conversation has been pretty passionate, pretty targeted.


08;06;06;01 - 08;05;52;14

Aaron

I tell you, it's a pretty fast pace of the off air stuff, so it's certainly gritty. That's why we started the podcast really gets really. Boy, that that got really real. I don't know if, like one of my pet peeves, John, I'm sure yours is too.


08;05;52;13 - 08;05;36;03

Aaron

I can. I can. I can already guess is is when you go to places where you're known. And you get in, there's a rhythm of, Hey, how are you? Fine, good. Hey, how are you? Fine, good. I had a buddy who who tested this theory years ago, he told me.


08;05;35;29 - 08;05;29;16

Aaron

He said he got so sick of that. And he every single person that asked them that question, he says, terrible, suicidal.


08;05;28;28 - 08;05;26;28


I just kept.


08;05;26;19 - 08;05;15;18

Aaron

Upping the ante like, you know, no one stopped the car. You know, and that that concerns me that we're not even willing to have decent gritty conversation.


08;05;15;15 - 08;05;07;26

Jon

Like, imagine just a stranger asks you, Hey, how are you doing in your responses? I just kept up all night my suicidal ideation. How are you?


08;05;06;24 - 08;05;06;03


And like you just.


08;05;06;03 - 08;05;04;15

Jon

Say, with the dead straight face, like, OK.


08;05;04;15 - 08;05;00;12


I'm dead. Well, I love what you're talking. We don't. We don't want.


08;05;00;12 - 08;04;46;09

Aaron

To have those conversations like we just had a pretty hairy one this morning. And for those of you listening like our ideal audience right now are those who want to have those discussions or have had those. Yeah, and have success failure.


08;04;46;08 - 08;04;43;20

Aaron

I don't care what habit I've been willing to have them.


08;04;43;15 - 08;04;30;26

Jon

Well, we we've started the show on. The premise of a journey. Right? I don't know, think about it. Maybe it's worth reading that as part of this, if you think it's on target for some of what we're talking about, go ahead and think so, OK?


08;04;30;16 - 08;04;13;18

Jon

Say, just remember, this is not free. So if you get encouraged or anything, please pay it forward and share it. That's all we ask. And it would be greatly appreciated because we want to continue this journey. Thank you so much for the feedback, right, that we get all the time from those who are listening.


08;04;13;18 - 08;04;01;09

Jon

So that is wonderful. But, you know, I've been flying back and forth on a different bio, you know, for the podcast now I drafted something. We wrote it for the first time a few seconds ago. Not sure if we'll go with it, but it's kind of timely.


08;04;01;09 - 08;03;46;20

Jon

And then we'll jump into the conversation you just mentioned. So the theory focuses on the narrow path that leads to success, peace, joy and resilience. By stewarding pain, well, we are able to take ownership of our lives and forge a better future.


08;03;46;02 - 08;03;34;00

Jon

Join us in the discussion as we continue the journey. Yup. And today the journey is continuing. And the reason this conversation was Harry this morning is because life is real.


08;03;33;09 - 08;03;32;12


It is.


08;03;32;12 - 08;03;27;29

Jon

And challenges abound, right? And you have some things. You get a handle.


08;03;27;21 - 08;03;26;22


Yeah, I do.


08;03;26;10 - 08;03;11;21

Jon

And you're going to handle it. And what that means for us is that some of our episodes will. Be with just me. Have both of us. And that's what the future's going to look like for a little bit, right?


08;03;11;07 - 08;03;10;21

Jon

And that's OK.


08;03;10;12 - 08;02;54;24

Aaron

And I appreciate that too. We're our discussion that we've had. I'll tell you this is that we would we certainly would not prescribe that which we were not willing to to have to to take ourselves the medicine we would take ourselves.


08;02;54;05 - 08;02;35;05

Aaron

And I'll tell you, there's like there's conversations you have like because because life happens and you go, Can I going to make some hard decisions? But what, what, what I'm choosing not to do? What I wouldn't want John to choose for himself or any of our listeners to choose for themselves is like this quiet isolation carry on


08;02;34;20 - 08;02;22;29

Aaron

and just be kind of dying and not dealing with it. So. So it's been like, all right. Here's here's what it is. And we talk through that and being ambiguous is like that to protect relationships.


08;02;22;29 - 08;02;22;04

Jon

You need shared.


08;02;22;03 - 08;02;08;10

Aaron

But I would say more. The the higher flying issue is like if there's something that has been there's something ongoing and you've got to deal with it, you've got to talk to a friend and then in then have a real conversation and I wouldn't placate it.


08;02;08;10 - 08;02;05;29

Aaron

Like, that's certainly not what happened. It was not.


08;02;05;25 - 08;02;04;28

Jon

There's no application.


08;02;04;11 - 08;02;03;24


There was no.


08;02;03;24 - 08;02;02;09

Aaron

It was not a sugarcoated mike.


08;02;02;07 - 08;02;00;27


There's a lot of honesty this morning.


08;02;00;26 - 08;01;45;06

Aaron

There was, but I would say I would say it carefully thought out. Honesty, it wasn't. You didn't. You didn't like. You know, full bore, I think you really stopped and paused, prayed and like this is, I think, what a friend should say, some of it.


08;01;45;01 - 08;01;34;17

Aaron

Some of it is not reactive. And what I want to say for me, but also some of is like, I need to say this for the person, which I really appreciate that you do, because that's all equally hard.


08;01;34;11 - 08;01;31;05

Aaron

I have to say these words. I have to not be silent in these words to.


08;01;31;03 - 08;01;18;18

Jon

Well, yeah, and I fully agree with you the details for why you need to step away are no one's business, but I think there's so much value in what I and in the second third order effects of a conversation to share.


08;01;17;28 - 08;01;11;25

Jon

And I can't help but think like since we made the decision a couple of episodes ago in the War on Lies and Despair.


08;01;11;19 - 08;01;11;10


Yeah.


08;01;10;05 - 08;01;08;23

Jon

A lot of our principles have been tested.


08;01;07;11 - 08;01;06;11


Like they're really being tested.


08;01;06;11 - 08;00;51;28

Jon

Again and like in a big way, like, you know, beloved family dog gets killed walking through that as a family, how are you going to even still show up when there's, you know, that pain and then loss? Yeah, we are right.


08;00;51;28 - 08;00;50;29

Jon

And we demonstrated that.


08;00;50;28 - 08;00;50;07


Careful what you.


08;00;50;07 - 08;00;47;14

Aaron

Declare. I mean, that's crazy. It will be tested.


08;00;47;14 - 08;00;30;02

Jon

Correct. And now we're talking about these other things and it's like you're putting in your decision to need to step away. Partially forbidden is putting into practice the principles we talked on the show, right? My response. And now our response is putting into practice these principles.


08;00;29;17 - 08;00;15;25

Jon

So it's like, Hey, if you want to judge a tree by what it produces, it's a fruit tree you on, judge it by the fruit that's on the tree. Right? You want to see what's on it? Well, right here in the last couple of weeks, we are putting into practice the principles we're talking about in pursuing this


08;00;15;25 - 08;00;10;16

Jon

journey. And that's where I love the join us in the discussion as we continue the journey, because that's what this is.


08;00;10;05 - 09;59;57;10

Aaron

Wow. I love that introspection to sometimes amazing when you when you're pursuing truth and what is right and you and then you go, Whoa, wait a minute, I got to work on it. Yeah, this or that, or I could.


09;59;57;10 - 09;59;38;12

Aaron

I could be better here. Like, you know, it's sort of like once you begin a journey, we use the gym analogy a lot, sort of like, I didn't realize how out of shape I was. I didn't realize how far, how far I've allowed myself to get until until I started the journey and go, Wow.


09;59;38;08 - 09;59;24;16

Aaron

And then what's kind of cool? There's a confidence in that sort of like, Well, I've actually made some steps in the right direction to the point where now I can be creative and go, Hey, what else can we do?


09;59;24;15 - 09;59;19;17

Aaron

What else can we challenge? Because I want more? I want I want to walk even narrower path.


09;59;18;24 - 09;59;04;13

Jon

Yeah. And what the the value of the narrow path that we're talking about. And there's some connotations this term. So I want to talk about why we did it, but I think we live. I don't think it's hard to assume we live in a world that enjoys luxury and comfort.


09;59;04;06 - 09;58;53;17

Jon

Right? So to choose to embrace hard things head on is a much less common choice and much less traveled and therefore a narrow path.


09;58;53;14 - 09;58;39;25

Aaron

Right. We we live in a world now. I say more than ever, we have more choices than ever. I think freedom has been blurred because we conflate it with how many choices we have. Yeah, and choices does not mean freedom.


09;58;39;08 - 09;58;26;25

Jon

And with that right, I was thinking about this the other day because because you know, my big goal in life is obtaining greater levels of freedom for my family, myself and my community. Right. You have to have a cup.


09;58;26;12 - 09;58;14;19

Jon

You have to have abundance overflowing from yourself to be able to give in this right. So I want freedom in my life so that I can provide freedom, you know, financially time, all these different aspects for my family.


09;58;14;06 - 09;58;04;28

Jon

Because once I've done that now, I have all this abundance that I can continue to pour more lavishly out on my community and my my fellow man. Right. So like, that's my goal.


09;58;04;27 - 09;57;58;26

Aaron

That sounds like a lot of our guests that we talked to. Yeah, it's amazing how the next thing they do is want to influence other people.


09;57;58;25 - 09;57;43;21

Jon

Want in as soon as you take care of your responsibilities and you have that freedom. Like, when are you going to do if you if you pursue comfort, you're just going to increase your comfort. But if you're pursuing that, the hard decisions of facing difficult head, you can be like, Well, I'm not going to just sit back


09;57;43;15 - 09;57;28;17

Jon

. I have this gift that I want to pour out. So you kind of do that. But but the time I was like, OK, so freedom is this and that was like, freedom is unity right? We've been talking a lot about divisiveness and division and fighting over silly things versus unity in the power that comes from learning to


09;57;28;17 - 09;57;12;11

Jon

respect your neighbor, right? Your neighbor is not your enemy, right? And I was thinking about that. Oh, my goodness. Freedom is the greatest agent of unity and mutual respect for another human being that is out there because division creates slavery.


09;57;11;28 - 09;56;58;22

Jon

It binds you because if I'm a Ford guy and I don't like Chevy, if I'm a white guy and don't like another race or whatever, like I'm binding myself, yeah, to be not unfree. And that is a cancer.


09;56;58;12 - 09;56;41;15

Jon

And that is why I love my fellow man and work to better understand them. And if you're opposed to that, then we will have issue because I'm an agent for perpetuating, as are you, greater levels of unity and strength and freedom for people to be able to engage in better lives.


09;56;41;12 - 09;56;40;29


Right.


09;56;40;19 - 09;56;19;01

Aaron

Right. Yeah. We've we've oversimplified things that we we should just to be critical of what we should be spending our time with the narrow path. That's what we're talking about. It's it sounds like, oh, that sounds like less freedom is no freedom comes from the train being on the tracks.


09;56;18;09 - 09;56;01;09

Aaron

That's it. I mean, you can you can have all the decision and power all you want. But if it's not in the right direction, where you're where it's supposed to be, what's healthy and strong for your future? You're not you're not free, you're in slavery, and you may have sense that you may have sense that because you


09;56;01;09 - 09;55;40;24

Aaron

haven't faced something head on in your life that you are absolutely shackled by it. And and there's something so much greater on the other side of you getting the shackles off, doing the work to get that out of your life to or even or even start putting on the thing that's that's healthier the habits, the rhythms, the


09;55;40;24 - 09;55;21;27

Aaron

relationships you're supposed to have, those bring so much freedom. And if you've experienced that or are experiencing that, you'll know you, you will say I am free because you'll know, you know, they're the choices that you have are actually greater than those who think they have more choices, but they really don't.


09;55;19;27 - 09;54;58;19

Jon

Man, so, so many good directions to go. You know, I think one of the things that is hard right now is that there's such a perversion in lie about what is good and what's not or what's important, what's not right with inverted the system so that things that shouldn't cause great conflict are the all important things, right


09;54;58;08 - 09;54;38;15

Jon

? Like, we're going backwards on how people look at like, you know, all this. We're all tribal by nature, but we're going backwards in claiming tribalism again, right? Like, you know, based on race or sexuality or whatever it is and we're inverting it, what should matters is and we are all free and afforded great opportunity, and we want


09;54;38;15 - 09;54;32;08

Jon

to protect that for each other despite our disagreements, right? And so we flipped it. Well, no, I care more about the fact that I like this thing and you.


09;54;32;08 - 09;54;31;13

Aaron

Don't write.


09;54;31;07 - 09;54;28;15

Jon

In that. That's a that's a lie, and I think we're putting that to death.


09;54;28;08 - 09;54;21;09

Aaron

So the identity that we are guarding choice over the pursuit. Yeah, that's just so crazy to me.


09;54;21;09 - 09;54;19;26

Jon

That perfectly said, yeah.


09;54;19;20 - 09;54;19;16


The.


09;54;19;16 - 09;54;16;04

Aaron

Preference has trumped what we're trying to go.


09;54;15;29 - 09;54;09;01

Jon

Well, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Yes, happiness is not guaranteed. No pursuit of it. Oh, and that's the beauty.


09;54;08;14 - 09;53;49;06

Aaron

Has success in the business or the. I've heard that the quote is the success that success is rented and renters do every day. And it's this that in in happiness is the same thing. Happiness isn't something like you achieve.


09;53;49;06 - 09;53;31;26

Aaron

You don't summit something and go done. And anyone has ever accomplished anything, any anybody who's won something they've really tried to accomplish. That's that's a nice thing. It's a nice shot in the arm. But but the joy is in the journey, not in the summiting.


09;53;31;12 - 09;53;10;10

Aaron

And so happiness is a thing that it's pursued. It's simultaneously achieved. You have it and you're pursuing it. It's this weird relationship. Yeah, if you camp on happiness, then you'll find it. It's like sand in your fingers. Happiness is pursued, but but it's the creation of sacrifice to get it.


09;53;10;06 - 09;52;57;00

Aaron

Mm hmm. And that is the hard part. That's that's not good news for some people. So we're we're we're training kind of a rhythm of, hey, just get used to the fact that it is difficult to get happiness, but you get happiness.


09;52;56;27 - 09;52;51;18

Aaron

Mm hmm. I got good news. You get a happiness. Bad news. It's difficult to get it. That's life.


09;52;51;02 - 09;52;32;07

Jon

Yeah. And. I'm just going to send it. It is life in its choice, right? Well, I fully believe that human beings, we're the the masters of our fate and captains of our soul. You know, I had a mentor who really disagreed with me when I said that I didn't make that up.


09;52;32;05 - 09;52;19;29

Jon

That's like good old statement. I can't remember who coined it, but he disagreed. He's like, now as Christians, you know, God is our master. And I've thought a lot about it because I and I realized I don't think he's wrong and I don't think I'm wrong.


09;52;19;02 - 09;52;05;05

Jon

I am the master of my fate and captain of my soul. But I've chosen as a Christian to give that to my king, and now I follow him. Right. So now I've taken, I've put down my captain ship and picked up stewardship.


09;52;04;28 - 09;52;04;15


Hmm.


09;52;04;06 - 09;51;44;09

Jon

Right. I've traded that and in trading that I experience much greater freedom in my life. Right? In the same way, you know, Draco willing talks about discipline equals freedom. Right? Well, when I discipline myself and I'm clear on what I stand for, it frees me from being torn apart by all the things that were ambiguous before, right


09;51;43;27 - 09;51;33;03

Jon

? So there is freedom in that, in peace. And the reason I share that is because I'm going to be a little bit more vulnerable if that wasn't vulnerable enough. But this morning, when you sent me a message, let me know what you're thinking, right?


09;51;33;01 - 09;51;20;16

Jon

We've been going through these battles together right in our separate lives, encouraging each other. And when you shared with me what you were thinking, I was out on my run and I got got punched right because I was afraid that that might be necessary.


09;51;19;13 - 09;51;12;08

Jon

It made me scared for what the future look like. It made me sick to my stomach. It made me raging mad because that emotion is always going.


09;51;12;08 - 09;51;10;14


To show up. You're speaking to.


09;51;10;14 - 09;51;07;28

Aaron

People like people have these feelings.


09;51;07;25 - 09;51;06;27


Yeah. Come on.


09;51;06;27 - 09;51;05;28

Aaron

Let's be honest, right?


09;51;05;20 - 09;51;04;25

Jon

Yeah, I'm.


09;51;04;25 - 09;51;04;00

Aaron

Just you go through.


09;51;03;29 - 09;51;02;04

Jon

If you don't feel this is good for you.


09;51;01;23 - 09;50;58;27

Aaron

Maybe you're dead. I don't know. Like, it's just being alive.


09;50;58;18 - 09;50;58;09


Yeah.


09;50;58;09 - 09;50;47;25

Jon

So like all this emotions going on, like the uncertainty and all of this stuff and like the feeling of like abandonment and betrayal and all this crap. And I'm just like, Man, this really sucks, right? And then and then I had to ask, I was like, Well.


09;50;46;25 - 09;50;35;22

Jon

Let's pause. There's a lot of emotion going on right now. Let's let's look at some things. Let's look at some truth. What do you stand for? What what do you stand for in your relationship with your buddy, Erin?


09;50;35;13 - 09;50;24;19

Jon

Right? I was like, Well, we're we're on this journey called the grit theory to face hard things head on. And it's like, OK, so what does that mean? What are the second or third implications of that as well?


09;50;24;19 - 09;50;15;28

Jon

And we now have a discussion as well. What are the two things that matter most to you? And after I thought through it as a because I had to let go of the emotion for a little bit. I won't have to deal with emotion cycles, right?


09;50;15;28 - 09;50;04;05

Jon

I know it's going to come back up. I'm going to have to breathe really soon. For me, it's you give it to the almighty. Right? But and then between us, it's like, Well, what are the two things I need to do to to continue forward with confidence?


09;50;04;00 - 09;49;52;12

Jon

Mm-Hmm. And I was like one, I need to make sure that when we're done with our conversation that you leave it fortified, knowing that we're standing closer than ever before because I'm with you in your fight. Right, right.


09;49;51;24 - 09;49;36;07

Jon

And not allow this to become something that's divisive in our relationship as friends and partners, but something that unites us more greatly because what you're fighting for, I'm fighting for and there's this really fun anti for severe cracks me up episode.


09;49;36;07 - 09;49;21;20

Jon

It's called like a cultivating loyalty or loyalty for success or something like that. He released it like yesterday, which won't help, since this podcast will go live a couple of weeks after the record. But you'll find it. And he's just digging in on how loyalty shouldn't be based on time.


09;49;20;26 - 09;49;04;20

Jon

It should be based on who. Is helping you further yourself and you're helping them. Right, it's a mutual give and take towards the ideal of who you want to become. Mm-Hmm. Right. And I was thinking about as well in my little two you for the convenience or am I loyal to you because I want to see what


09;49;04;20 - 09;48;48;26

Jon

can happen in your life and I want the best for you? And I was like, Well, it's definitely that and that, you know, all of those thoughts helped me change. The key is like, I don't trust my emotions right now, but what I do trust is my convictions to you as a friend, and I'm going to act


09;48;48;26 - 09;48;41;15

Jon

in those convictions and pursue that with you. And really good, you know, and what do you think.


09;48;41;15 - 09;48;26;28

Aaron

I think of I think of it reminds me of a pilot, a pilot training. I know this is kind of random, but pilots have to part of their training is they have to fly blind. Hmm. And what that means is that they have to they do it.


09;48;26;28 - 09;48;15;02

Aaron

They call it a thing. They call it instrument training, something like that. This is not my world. So please forgive me. But what it is, what it is, is they have to be able to fly using only their instruments.


09;48;14;21 - 09;47;58;09

Aaron

So what does that? Why do they do that? Well, because sometimes site. Is is the enemy? Planes have flown into mountains because people don't trust their instruments. Hmm. They go, Oh no, I don't see them out and I don't see a mountain and boom, it happens.


09;47;58;08 - 09;47;45;13

Aaron

Then the instruments are always right. Convictions are the instruments, right? The convictions are saying, This is, this is where we're going. This is why we're doing it. But I'm looking all around and all I see. That's not the way.


09;47;45;12 - 09;47;42;10

Aaron

Let me just let me let me just take control here. Like, No, no, no.


09;47;41;14 - 09;47;40;11


Stop it. Stop it.


09;47;39;00 - 09;47;28;17

Aaron

The instruments aren't broken yet. Your convictions are wrong. You get a whole nother set of problems, but which need to be dealt with. But most remote and just trust your conviction.


09;47;27;16 - 09;47;15;07

Jon

Yeah. What I'm thinking about when you say that and we've talked a lot about like that ideal you pursue kind of becomes like a compass. You know? Yeah. So it's like, do I need to head north? OK, I know this is a good compass.


09;47;15;07 - 09;47;04;23

Jon

I need head north, but it doesn't look right. Well, I'm going to trust the compass, right? That's my instrument. The same with fights like no trust or whatever tells you your altitude. Trust that you're kind of low pull up.


09;47;04;23 - 09;46;51;07

Jon

It doesn't matter what you can see. It's maybe higher than lower in my mind. I don't know. It's not my world. Even though like mountains all over the sky, there's less things to hit you. So I'm going to trust that and push in the direction.


09;46;51;07 - 09;46;49;02

Jon

I think it should go until I can see again.


09;46;48;23 - 09;46;43;27

Aaron

And it's a fight. And again, it's a fight in you. Yeah, like, I don't believe this at all.


09;46;43;26 - 09;46;43;19

Jon

Yeah.


09;46;43;09 - 09;46;41;25

Aaron

I don't think this is right.


09;46;41;24 - 09;46;40;04

Jon

I feel like I'm going south, but says North.


09;46;40;00 - 09;46;30;19

Aaron

And then all of a sudden you break the clouds and go, Whoa, I was I was that. That would have been a horrible tragedy had I just continued to do with what I just see. Yes, is what I know.


09;46;30;18 - 09;46;27;23

Jon

And how powerful I love that metaphor. Thank you.


09;46;26;22 - 09;46;18;06

Aaron

Well, I think of it because you reminded me of a memory of of me questioning our friendship in a fun way.


09;46;17;13 - 09;46;17;02


Right?


09;46;16;13 - 09;46;14;19

Aaron

And I don't know when it was.


09;46;14;19 - 09;46;13;04

Jon

Questioned why you stick up with me all.


09;46;13;04 - 09;46;12;22


The time.


09;46;10;25 - 09;45;57;18

Aaron

We can be hard to be around on both sides, right? Depending on the day. But this particular day, I'm sure it was probably on one of those stupid winter runs we were doing and there was icy wind coming at us.


09;45;57;18 - 09;45;42;21

Aaron

Like, we've talked about these things before, but it sucks every time I can't. I can't explain to you how much I don't want to do a run when icy wind is coming in my face like negative ten. Yeah, it's it's horrible.


09;45;42;06 - 09;45;34;24

Aaron

And so everything in me is saying, Why am I doing this? Like my feeling is saying, just go back, take a shower to take.


09;45;34;11 - 09;45;34;03


A hot.


09;45;34;03 - 09;45;31;04

Aaron

Shower like people sleep at this time. What the heck am I doing?


09;45;30;24 - 09;45;29;01

Jon

I'm not well, and he's not well.


09;45;28;22 - 09;45;25;21


Why am I doing? But what? What drives you to that?


09;45;25;21 - 09;45;08;29

Aaron

It's your conviction. I told myself that I want to challenge myself. I mean, these physical challenges that I could have a stronger mental health. Let's say I don't know exactly what we did. I know there was some conviction that got me through the window, but it was something to that effect.


09;45;08;19 - 09;44;51;16

Aaron

I'm really challenging. If so, if I quit on that, I quit on my conviction, which I said was important when there was no end. Hmm. And it's still important when there is wind. So I'm going to continue going because the way that my comfort in the wind is less important than what I'm trying to achieve.


09;44;51;01 - 09;44;39;10

Aaron

Hmm. So that reminded me of that because you, we we joke about that. But at about, oh, we question the friendship. But and it's ha ha, that's funny. But I.


09;44;39;10 - 09;44;38;29


Went.


09;44;37;27 - 09;44;28;10

Aaron

Quit on the friendship because it's not it's not against my conviction, it's against my comfort. Yeah, and that's a very different decision you got to.


09;44;28;10 - 09;44;28;00


Make.


09;44;27;23 - 09;44;24;29

Jon

Though not against your conviction, but against your comfort.


09;44;24;27 - 09;44;24;17

Aaron

Right?


09;44;24;17 - 09;44;23;21

Jon

Oh man.


09;44;23;20 - 09;44;11;00

Aaron

Have you quit on a friendship? Because of comfort. I mean, really, I'm just looking back at one man, I had friends that make it comfortable, why do they make you uncomfortable? Was it based on your convictions or is based on your comfort?


09;44;10;22 - 09;43;54;22

Jon

And it's such a that's a good litmus test, because think about this, there are times that you should speak because of your conviction, but your comfort will keep you silent. Correct. There are times that you should not speak because of your conviction, but your comfort will make you speak.


09;43;54;21 - 09;43;53;29

Aaron

Oh, that's.


09;43;53;29 - 09;43;39;16

Jon

Good. It goes both ways. Agreed, right? Agreed. And that's where discipline and self-awareness is important. And like the great litmus test, we've talked about this a lot. When you walk away from something, if it bothers you or eats at you, you missed.


09;43;38;25 - 09;43;27;22

Jon

Right? So if it eats at you, once you're out of the situation, that's don't bury that, acknowledge it and resolve yourself to act differently in the next opportunity.


09;43;27;11 - 09;43;25;24

Aaron

So it's it's sort of.


09;43;25;24 - 09;43;25;13


The.


09;43;24;24 - 09;43;11;11

Aaron

On a much more important level broccoli in the teeth of a friend and you're not willing to say it. And I would, you know, because why don't you want to say someone is broccoli in their teeth? Because it's uncomfortable.


09;43;10;21 - 09;43;05;21

Aaron

But conviction says I told him I'd tell him if there was something I see in his teeth.


09;43;05;18 - 09;43;05;09


Right?


09;43;04;29 - 09;43;02;20

Aaron

There isn't, by the way, right now, who do you think? I know?


09;43;02;10 - 09;43;01;21


I mean, talking.


09;43;01;21 - 09;42;49;10

Aaron

About it right away, you're like, Wait a second. But like, what a great friend that like goes, Hey dude, right there. Yeah, that's uncomfortable in the moment over time. But while he is watching out for me, those are good friends.


09;42;49;05 - 09;42;38;03

Aaron

That's a much small that's a small example of someday I'm going to need someone to say, Dude, you don't have broccoli in your teeth like you're dying. Yeah. And I got to tell you critical failure.


09;42;38;00 - 09;42;22;01

Jon

You're screwed this up, right? That takes courage. It's funny because you need to get to the point where you can help your fellow stranger, right? Funny story. I'll keep it really short. I was going through a series of job interviews when I was exiting the service, and there is one panel interview with five people from the sales


09;42;22;01 - 09;42;06;22

Jon

company as a sales position. And it was, I think, the vice president of the company and for higher ups, Mike. So it was like four levels of who my leadership would be. And then to pierce essentially or Mike or something that the vice president's flies down.


09;42;05;10 - 09;41;50;27

Jon

We're on suits the vice president's fires down when you shake hands and the beginning of the interview, I notice it and I'm like, I'm looking around. I'm like, Dude, you have like four people here who know you and work with you and guarantee you they've noticed and no one's saying it.


09;41;50;27 - 09;41;38;10

Jon

So you have all these guys. Panel interviews coming through and they're not saying anything. So we go through the interview and we shake hands at the end. Positive conversation I I hold on to his hand for a second longer and kind of lean him just, hey, just you know, your fly's down.


09;41;38;06 - 09;41;36;28

Jon

Mm hmm. Thank you for the opportunity.


09;41;36;28 - 09;41;35;15


To do it for this position.


09;41;35;00 - 09;41;32;03

Jon

And he he like, he's like.


09;41;31;14 - 09;41;30;19


He looks down.


09;41;30;08 - 09;41;18;17

Jon

And you could tell he he was grateful that he learned, but he was disappointed in his team because he looked around like none of you told me was the first thing, he said. And he put it up and you know, he was embarrassed.


09;41;18;17 - 09;41;05;16

Jon

But he's like, Thank you for telling me. And it was funny because, um, you know, I didn't end up working with him, but that just reminded me that I have the conviction to do what's right, even if it could, you know, even if it's a small thing.


09;41;05;15 - 09;41;03;03

Aaron

That's a great example. That's a great example.


09;41;03;03 - 09;41;02;24

Jon

You know.


09;41;02;05 - 09;40;51;06

Aaron

Comfort. It's amazing how often comfort dictates our decisions of our convictions. And I don't want to, you know, having discussion like we had this morning.


09;40;51;06 - 09;40;50;27


Or.


09;40;50;01 - 09;40;41;00

Aaron

With anybody when you go and this is me. This is something for me personally, but it could be another day, it could be a hijacking and talked about something you are doing.


09;40;40;29 - 09;40;40;17

Jon

Oh, heck.


09;40;40;17 - 09;40;34;07