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26. Hunger is the Best Seasoning



 

Today we discuss the power of desire, hunger, and gratitude. Highlights include: - Hunger makes everything taste better. - How bad do you want it? - How do you see the world? - The gift of gratitude. - Need versus want. - Joy and fulfillment during the journey. Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

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08;06;39;13 - 08;06;37;19

Jon

I've really been trying to make you miserable this morning.


08;06;37;14 - 08;06;36;07

Aaron

Oh, yeah. Why is that?


08;06;36;02 - 08;06;29;15

Jon

I just feel like it. I think that sometimes the best friend can beat you is the meanest friend that can beat you, you know?


08;06;29;06 - 08;06;21;16

Aaron

Well, and I was a little ticked off of you this morning. Yeah, because I I showed up to the ranch and you did not open the gate for me.


08;06;21;15 - 08;06;21;03

Jon

Correct.


08;06;20;15 - 08;06;18;21

Aaron

And I hate it when that remote is done.


08;06;18;19 - 08;06;11;24

Jon

I know we had to test the alternate opening system, which is you getting off your butt but getting out of your car?


08;06;11;07 - 08;06;09;16

Aaron

My heated leather seats? Yeah.


08;06;09;03 - 08;05;57;13

Jon

Off your heater. Other seats. You're so boogie. You play the the clean, dapper Dan side of the House so well. And unfortunately, I think I fit the Neanderthal ish side.


08;05;54;03 - 08;05;47;22

Aaron

Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I just want to encourage you in the future when I lean on that horn. I mean it.


08;05;46;01 - 08;05;45;11

Jon

Oh goodness.


08;05;44;09 - 08;05;39;13

Aaron

Is it wrong that I was secretly hoping you were going to be running on the Midnight Road again in the dark road?


08;05;39;00 - 08;05;35;17

Jon

The only concern I'd have is that you'd be hoping that so you can run me over.


08;05;34;16 - 08;05;33;11

Aaron

That's exactly what I was saying.


08;05;33;11 - 08;05;33;06

Jon

Yeah.


08;05;32;16 - 08;05;25;20

Jon

I do have green flashing lights on there now, so it'll be harder for you to justify. I guess you just have to pick the lights up after you hit me.


08;05;25;14 - 08;05;23;04

Aaron

Harder and harder to get away with it and could probably.


08;05;22;27 - 08;05;05;05

Jon

Just make the lights disappear. All right, guys, you heard it here. If I get hit by area, it was not an accident. And I do wear those lights, so don't let them lie to you. All right. Today, we want to explore hunger is the best seasoning as a concept.


08;05;04;25 - 08;05;01;12

Aaron

00, I like this topic. Hunger as a seasoning.


08;05;00;27 - 08;04;59;01

Jon

Yeah. Hunger is the best seasoning.


08;04;59;00 - 08;04;58;21

Aaron

OK.


08;04;58;12 - 08;04;36;24

Jon

Yeah. As a topic, right? And like just carte blanche. Like, what the heck are we going to do with that? Well, I think it's talking about gratitude, right? I think it's talking about desire. Like if you if you mix gratefulness when a desire is fulfilled, right, with the strength of that desire, it makes whatever that thing is


08;04;36;24 - 08;04;13;08

Jon

sweeter. So looking at the simple analogy, hunger is the best seasoning. You know, if you just had a large meal. Whatever you're eating in the next five minutes is probably not going to be a satisfying as if you've not eaten for three days, whatever you're given at that point is probably going to taste amazing, even if typically


08;04;13;08 - 08;04;04;11

Jon

it may not. And it kind of is a tongue in cheek way of saying like, oh, when you really need something, it's going to be amazing regardless of your normal standards.


08;04;04;10 - 08;03;45;01

Aaron

Well, I think everyone's experiences when they've been the like, when you go through some kind of a trial and on the other side of it, everything just tastes sweeter. I think a just a very basic example would be if you've ever gone on a one long hike and you stop and have a meal, it's the best meal


08;03;45;01 - 08;03;26;05

Aaron

you've ever tasted in your life, you know? I don't know. Why can't bacon taste better than house bacon other than you? There's something about like if you ever can't and it's like, you know, it's cold or you get up in the morning and it's kind of sitting there and then that coffee tastes great.


08;03;26;05 - 08;03;12;03

Aaron

And the bacon that's sizzling on the on the fire is great. And you're kind of surrounded by kind of a uncomfortable situation, but it makes all the. It makes all the reward that much sweeter, all the things that you are enjoying.


08;03;11;13 - 08;02;58;10

Aaron

If you've ever done like, do the Manitou incline and get down. And I have talked to many people, they go and they go to the burger place down there, and that burger tastes frickin amazing. Hmm. But why? It's the same burger.


08;02;58;09 - 08;02;50;19

Aaron

It's the same bacon. It's the same coffee. In fact, in many times it's worse than what you typically would have, but it somehow tastes better. Why?


08;02;50;07 - 08;02;31;29

Jon

Yeah. And it's funny because I got I got the quote from Little House on the Prairie, actually, because it's one of the series we're going through with the kids and these travelers go through and they're just enamored with mass cooking, and they're going to have to battle it out, you know, live bachelor style for a bit to


08;02;31;29 - 08;02;21;03

Jon

cook for themselves. And he's like, Will you please write these down? And she's just, you know, they're showering with compliments and she's like, Well, is the best, the best seasoning, you know, just a really humble way of.


08;02;21;03 - 08;02;20;21

Jon

Being like.


08;02;20;17 - 08;02;09;04

Jon

You're loving this because you're starving. Yes, but like the fun threat to pull on and it's what you're talking about and like the level of severity of circumstances you live through. Yeah, really further and further illustrates it, right?


08;02;09;03 - 08;01;54;11

Jon

Like if you almost die of thirst, that's the best glass of water you've ever had in your life and never be able to duplicate it. It could be puddle water. Yeah, right? But it saves you. And that mentality comes in in a lot of things, and I think it turns into something that we can actually use and


08;01;54;11 - 08;01;35;21

Jon

create. Mm-Hmm. But you know, yesterday we were talking about friends, friendship, relationships that are positive in our lives and. I was thinking about it, and it was like, you know what? I love having good friends to celebrate life with.


08;01;35;08 - 08;01;19;14

Jon

Like, I love crack and some beers throwing some meat on the grill, whatever. That's fun. But you know what? That crowd is oftentimes bigger to you. Yeah, I like and I love it so much. It's it's one of the joys of life, and I'm I'm grateful for it, but I.


08;01;18;14 - 08;01;02;28

Jon

Am grateful. With the desperation and exuberance that is unparalleled when I'm going through hell, yeah, and I have friends come alongside me, those like when that happens, it's like, OK, it's nice to have friends around the barbecue, right?


08;01;02;17 - 08;00;57;23

Jon

It is life changing to friends going through Hell man.


08;00;57;22 - 08;00;43;26

Aaron

You hit it like because, you know, if you use the barbecue is sort of like where everything's kind of service. Maybe, you know, so everyone's haha having fun, that kind of thing, and it's good. We should have rest and joy and celebration and those kind of things.


08;00;43;02 - 08;00;20;21

Aaron

But there there's a lot of times where like, we're suffering is is very much in the front of the mind of the person. And that party is noise is not doing anything either quietly suffering inside. And you know, it's one thing to have an encouraging words from a friend when life is grand.


08;00;20;06 - 08;00;07;19

Aaron

But it is absolutely critical when when there's a private hell being lived through and all of a sudden that the sweetness of an encouraging word is unlike you've ever tasted before.


08;00;06;26 - 09;59;48;17

Jon

Well, and I think it's because it gets quieter when things get harder. Right? Like there when there's not a what is it? If you if you give a lot of gifts, you have a lot of friends, right? If when you have abundance, it's just easier to have more.


09;59;48;08 - 09;59;33;27

Jon

So it's like if you have a pantry and fridge for food, you're not. You're going to hopefully still appreciate your food better. I have food. What am I going to eat? You know, you have choice and it's not like the gratitude is not the same, right?


09;59;33;24 - 09;59;20;19

Jon

I think we all just kind of routinely pick what fancies us the most and eat it and don't think about it as much as we could. And how amazing it is that we have a cold receptacle filled with food and a pantry like these are cool things, right?


09;59;19;22 - 09;59;07;05

Jon

And it just the reminder it's so visceral because if you've ever gone hungry and then you get that meal, it's like, Oh, I know exactly you're talking about. In the same way, if you've ever gone through that desert like that, that time of desperation of darkness in your life?


09;59;07;03 - 09;58;55;12

Jon

Yeah. In the friends jump, whoever in your life actually jumped into that darkness with you to push through it. Yeah. It's like, Wow, I enjoy having fun with people. But that was life changing. I'll never forget you, right?


09;58;55;11 - 09;58;53;25

Jon

You know it's different. Yeah.


09;58;53;13 - 09;58;38;23

Aaron

Yeah, when you. When you're face, would you said where it's quieter, it feels like if you've ever experienced like if you're going through grief and you walk into a crowd and you can't hear it, you can't hear the laughter anymore you can't like.


09;58;38;23 - 09;58;15;02

Aaron

It's just it's just like this low buzz. And you're kind of like a dead man walking. The quietness is terrifying and and there's there's a suspicion there's a little lie that creeps in that says there there is no there is no satisfaction, there is no there's nothing that will meet like maybe I'll just die of thirst.


09;58;14;19 - 09;58;13;09

Aaron

Hmm. You know, it's.


09;58;13;09 - 09;58;10;13

Jon

Interesting because I feel like you're pulling on a different thread and I want to explore it.


09;58;10;11 - 09;58;10;02

Aaron

Yeah.


09;58;08;21 - 09;57;52;15

Jon

But I keep hearing this kind of don't bring your summer to my winter type of thing, you know, like, Hey, everyone's. Because what I was saying is like, oh, when times are good and you're celebrating of all these people and it's fun and it's great.


09;57;52;09 - 09;57;41;20

Jon

But then when times are desperate in that one or two people jump like that one person or that those two people jump in with you, it's like their value is worth more than ten times what you had in the good times.


09;57;41;19 - 09;57;24;21

Jon

Yup. And then since that's what we started in and what I'm hearing is, yeah, but when you're going through good times collectively but personally, quietly, privately, you're going through hell or winter darkness, writing and pulling that more.


09;57;24;09 - 09;57;05;21

Aaron

Yeah, when when, like the ten acquaintances aren't worse. Ernie, even worth the one person who's that cold cup of water when you're going through a difficult time. Yeah. And I also want to say, too, that these things are necessary.


09;57;05;21 - 09;56;49;14

Aaron

Like, I don't want to speak ill of suffering in the sense that like, we should avoid it. I mean, I think suffering is one of those things that just shows where you're weak and you'll then be hungry for that, the way to get strong.


09;56;49;09 - 09;56;34;14

Aaron

Mm-Hmm. And in the way you get strong are going to be. You're going to be seeking things that you weren't seeking before and your comfort. It will change you. You'll come out of the suffering if you do it right and if you have the right, you got to have an occasional cup of water for you and get


09;56;34;14 - 09;56;17;13

Aaron

to the desert, right? Yeah, you're not going to get one every day, though it's not going to be comfortable. But when you when you're going, when you're going through hell, it's just like, it's this what it is. It's not going to someone telling you, Oh, it's going to be OK, and oh, let's get through this really quick


09;56;17;02 - 09;56;07;10

Aaron

. That's not necessarily the words you say. That person's just sort of like, OK, how can I suffer with you a little bit? What can I do to walk through that?


09;56;06;19 - 09;55;57;28

Jon

Well, what I think you just sit on the truly important is, OK, if you're going through a tough time, it's not that the friend rescues you, it's that they go through the fight.


09;55;57;28 - 09;55;51;00

Aaron

Will they desperately want to? Yeah, that's the thing. They want to save you. You know, that's that's definitely there, but they can't.


09;55;50;19 - 09;55;38;01

Jon

So it's the choice to go through it with you. Yeah, right. Like and looking at that, there are ways that as a friend or I'm thinking specifically as a father, right, I can stop discomfort for my one of my sons.


09;55;37;28 - 09;55;22;19

Jon

Mm-Hmm. If they're in a circumstance, but oftentimes I have to deliberately choose to stay my hand and allow whatever discomfort they're experiencing to persist so that they can learn from it. So it.


09;55;22;19 - 09;55;21;27

Aaron

Could be their teacher.


09;55;21;21 - 09;55;10;00

Jon

But it's within the confines still of my oversight and protection. Right. That's the great thing that they get in having a father right or a parent who can do that is like, I'm going to make sure this doesn't kill you.


09;55;09;11 - 09;54;53;27

Jon

I'm not going to save you. That is a choice. And it's to their betterment. Right? And I think that there's a lesson in that. Also, when you're dealing with friends like you can't rescue someone from their own garbage, if they're going through something, that's self-inflicted.


09;54;53;00 - 09;54;38;19

Jon

You can't save them. And if you do, you're just going to repeat the function and created a cycle. So, OK, I think that's pretty true. Most of the time. But you can walk through the struggle with them as they learn to save themselves.


09;54;38;11 - 09;54;20;05

Jon

Yeah, right? As they learn to navigate it themselves. And I think that there's a critical distinction there. I'm not sure if I'm saying it well. But I think that that distinction is life changing because. Look at the dependency that a lot of kids have on their parents.


09;54;20;01 - 09;54;06;13

Jon

Mm-Hmm. If if the parents just try to make life easy for the kids and protect them and insulate them, then they're ill prepared for life and you see kids not leaving the house till their thirties.


09;54;06;09 - 09;54;03;28

Jon

Yeah. Wow.


09;54;02;28 - 09;54;02;04

Aaron

Scarfe noted.


09;54;01;13 - 09;54;00;14

Jon

Know, just wow.


09;53;59;14 - 09;53;50;10

Jon

It's like, man, why? Well, because you never. Coached and trained your children to become resilient, to face life.


09;53;50;06 - 09;53;49;20

Aaron

Yeah, to.


09;53;49;20 - 09;53;36;06

Jon

Become strong enough to face life. It's the same with friendships, though like and and I can't help but think when I want to save a friend who's going through a hard thing, it should mean insecurity me. So it's like, how can I walk with them so that I make sure they don't get destroyed and help them to


09;53;36;06 - 09;53;30;26

Jon

the best of my ability, but not rob them of the joy of the lesson of their experience?


09;53;30;23 - 09;53;12;00

Aaron

It's. That's when the when hunger, as hunger as the best seasoning is, what we're really joking about is the fact that, you know, it's like a parent who's arguing with their kid about food. It's like, Hey, I'll tell you what I mean, you don't have to eat that.


09;53;11;14 - 09;53;08;20

Aaron

All I have to do is wait. I'm not giving you anything else.


09;53;08;07 - 09;53;07;27

Jon

You know.


09;53;07;04 - 09;52;55;11

Aaron

I grew up my my dad. If I complained about the chicken, he'd wrap it and that's what we had for breakfast. You know, that's just how that worked. Love it. It's just, yeah, to this day, I'm kind of ruined for it when my kids leave a bite on the plate, you know?


09;52;55;06 - 09;52;47;01

Aaron

Yeah. Know it's like hunger will heal that problem of you folding your arms at the situation.


09;52;46;21 - 09;52;37;07

Jon

Yeah, I do love that analogy because it's just like, you don't need it. That's why you want something else. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not even upset. Time will do its work.


09;52;37;03 - 09;52;35;21

Aaron

Exactly. I don't have to do anything.


09;52;35;19 - 09;52;33;13

Jon

Your stomach will turn on you and you will love this meal.


09;52;33;12 - 09;52;33;05

Jon

I.


09;52;31;28 - 09;52;27;00

Jon

It was made with love. You will love it when you eat it. I don't care if that's still tomorrow or the next day.


09;52;26;12 - 09;52;23;27

Aaron

I love. Isn't it great how it's built into us?


09;52;23;26 - 09;52;22;28

Jon

It is. Yeah.


09;52;22;18 - 09;52;16;22

Aaron

Your hunger is a is a form of suffering, but at the same time, it points to something that could give us joy.


09;52;16;20 - 09;52;06;04

Jon

It was a motivator. Yeah, it's it's it's a necessity. Yeah, because if you don't eat, you die. Yeah. So it's interesting because I do think there's different types of suffering in that. They're real. There's real changes there, right?


09;52;06;03 - 09;51;53;25

Jon

Yeah, they're suffering. Like what we're talking about right here. We're like, you're hungry. And that's a necessity. Then they're suffering like, you lose your spouse. Mm hmm. To a car accident. Mm hmm. Right. There's no reason for that.


09;51;53;09 - 09;51;47;25

Jon

Yeah. Right. There's nothing that doesn't make that suck.


09;51;47;13 - 09;51;47;05

Jon

Hmm.


09;51;46;08 - 09;51;42;23

Aaron

So what then what are you hungering for in that suffering?


09;51;41;29 - 09;51;26;28

Jon

Well, and that suffering, there's loss. Right. So I'm imagining, you know, if you're in that position, that's definitely don't bring your sunshine to my winter. And I don't think that it's all tongue in cheek and fun. But I do think that there's benefit.


09;51;26;28 - 09;51;09;03

Jon

And perhaps one of the benefits that you can create out of that despair is choosing to live a life that honors the departed and creates a better version of yourself in spite of the loss. Yeah, because I don't know many people who love each other who don't want their partner to do better if they were gone.


09;51;08;25 - 09;50;55;18

Jon

Who? Yeah, who don't want their partner to do better if they're gone. Most I think one of the one of the sacrificial pieces of love is like, Hey, if I'm gone, I want you to continue to thrive and grow and live a vibrant, fulfilling life.


09;50;55;13 - 09;50;41;08

Jon

Yeah. So it's like, I don't think that living in despair forever is part of that equation, though unnecessary season of grief. So it's like, I just want to counterbalance it because I do think that they're suffering. That is without reason.


09;50;40;15 - 09;50;31;01

Jon

But reason can be. There's at least redeeming qualities that can be forged out of the pain in the loss to create.


09;50;28;26 - 09;50;28;10

Jon

Value.


09;50;27;04 - 09;50;09;29

Aaron

So here's a a complex that's rattling around my head sort of hunger. If hunger is going to be the motivator that we're using to accomplish something that's good, then maybe we just start to ask ourselves, what are we hungry for and is it noble?


09;50;09;29 - 09;49;56;07

Aaron

Is it worth? Is it worth being hungry for? Hmm. Are we satisfying our hunger with the right things? Because hunger is a good thing, like it's a it's a form of suffering that leads to you going and finding the thing that satisfies it, right?


09;49;56;06 - 09;49;34;04

Aaron

Hmm. So I would say, like in the grief situation, I hope that you're desperately hungry for healing and wholeness. Again, not my life is over. And I hope and I hope that also. The person is thinking about how other people, what other people would want for them to, and I'm just like, I'm even thinking like Jordan Peterson


09;49;34;04 - 09;49;21;27

Aaron

here too, like like, he gives a great example about how someone who was near a near to a suicide victim blame themselves and just beat themselves up. What could I have done and what could I have said or whatever?


09;49;21;10 - 09;49;08;29

Aaron

And and Jordan has Asperger's, as he had. Have you asked your husband the same things, like what could he have done to do something better? She said, Oh, absolutely not. And he said, Why would you do that to yourself?


09;49;07;25 - 09;48;58;27

Aaron

And friends have a way of. Of turning it back on us and going, Hey, I don't want this for you and I need you to agree with me.


09;48;58;04 - 09;48;57;23

Jon

Yeah.


09;48;57;07 - 09;48;44;03

Aaron

I want I want you to hunger for the right thing because there is a path that that will heal you. And I want to make sure that it's directed the energies correct. It is going towards the right direction.


09;48;43;19 - 09;48;43;09

Aaron

Hmm.


09;48;41;11 - 09;48;21;11

Jon

I can't help but think when when you look at that, it's like. You can't avoid. Right? Like if you have to go through the stages of grief, you need to embrace it. Mm-Hmm. If you have to embrace. Whatever the problem is, so that you can gain understanding of it enough that you can move forward.


09;48;20;08 - 09;48;04;26

Jon

Hmm. Right. And. Looking at time, yeah, it looks like to do that, it takes some, but also takes the choice to look at it. Yeah, right. Like there's stages of grief for reason, but that requires you to walk through them.


09;48;04;13 - 09;47;41;07

Jon

You know you have to embrace them. And it's the same with that. A lot of these, they're suffering and you made a comment. Is it worth hungering for? And I think that's a really good question. I at least myself, and I think that this is very true of human nature have the propensity to stop.


09;47;38;00 - 09;47;18;23

Jon

Design, would I have? For what I want, right? And it's interesting, though, because there's a few simple exercises you can walk yourself through that can like just like good medicine when you're really sick or a good meal when you're really hungry can completely change a script.


09;47;18;03 - 09;47;02;21

Jon

And one example would be like just to start counting what your blessings are. What am I grateful for and why am I grateful for them right there? There's actually large bodies of scientific studies that show changes in people's lives just from doing that right.


09;47;02;08 - 09;46;47;13

Jon

And one of the questions I asked myself earlier this week is what would I have said three years ago? John, from three years passed if someone had told them, Hey, what would it be like if you had and then listed what my life is like today?


09;46;47;03 - 09;46;38;06

Jon

Mm hmm. Right? Mm hmm. I know for a fact after thinking about it for a little bit that three years ago, John would be like, How do we get there? Who'd have to hurry to bed? Who do I have to help?


09;46;37;29 - 09;46;37;02

Jon

What do we have to build?


09;46;37;01 - 09;46;35;22

Aaron

I get all those things. That's great.


09;46;35;22 - 09;46;24;22

Jon

I want to get there now, right? Like, I want to be there. Yes. Right. And it's like, Oh my goodness, look at the imagine the enthusiasm of who you were three years ago to be who you are today.


09;46;24;11 - 09;46;24;00

Jon

Right?


09;46;23;15 - 09;46;15;02

Aaron

And that same excited John three years ago. What if I told him, Hey, there will be days when you're just totally un grateful for all those things that you have?


09;46;14;20 - 09;46;13;29

Jon

It make you angry?


09;46;13;17 - 09;46;11;05

Aaron

Yeah. Are you kidding me? What's wrong with that turn.


09;46;10;19 - 09;46;08;01

Jon

Right? You agree with her, right?


09;46;06;18 - 09;45;57;11

Jon

But but it's interesting too, because like I just thought of a counterpoint there. What if three years ago you wish and you told about what your life was now in that version is like, I want to stay where I am.


09;45;56;25 - 09;45;52;29

Jon

That's a con. That's that's a rebuke. Right?


09;45;52;23 - 09;45;51;07

Aaron

Let's that'd be terrifying.


09;45;51;04 - 09;45;35;18

Jon

That would be terrifying. And maybe there's circumstances that you're walking through. Like three years ago, I had my wife and she died, right? I would say, that's outside of this. In that journey. But if it's just like, if it's because of the choices I've made in life have meant that my life, my quality of life, how I'm


09;45;35;18 - 09;45;19;14

Jon

living, how I'm interacting with myself and those around me is deteriorating, then that is where that's a condemnation. That's where that's a rebuke of like if the three years passed you. Mm hmm. Doesn't. Find it hard to imagine being where you are now.


09;45;18;29 - 09;45;12;01

Jon

Mm-Hmm. Then there's a how you are experiencing it, interacting with life problem. Yeah.


09;45;11;21 - 09;44;53;04

Aaron

Right. Yeah, there should be a massive difference. Mm-Hmm. It's I think it's a rebuke we all need to have. It's like, have I changed in three years, had things gotten better? And and to the point of talking to the past person enough to say that the future version of you is going to be upset about this or


09;44;53;04 - 09;44;35;22

Aaron

that you're talking about gratitude is sort of an antidote to dealing, dealing with the suffering in a sense, like. Because we have a tendency to really focus on the negative things when there's so many amazing things that are happening around us.


09;44;35;09 - 09;44;19;17

Aaron

Like really good things. And so like, why is future John upset? Oh, well, you know you got a flat tire and you know, his job is tough or whatever. His his kids are very energetic and they make him tired.


09;44;18;02 - 09;44;12;10

Aaron

He's he's upset that he said he's upset at the very things that bless him.


09;44;12;01 - 09;43;57;13

Jon

Well, it's just petty things and it's like we forget the goodness of the situation because of the flies or the irritants. You know, it's like, yeah, like three years ago, I was gone and much of the year, like every year and and I'm working from home 90% of the time.


09;43;57;12 - 09;43;54;24

Aaron

That's the dream. So it's compared to that reality.


09;43;54;23 - 09;43;36;07

Jon

Gosh, yeah. And you know, there's a lot of circumstantial changes in that, but it's like, goodness gracious, like you could have your circuit in. And to me, it just goes back to. Gratitude is so powerful, yet so on, usual to practice.


09;43;36;06 - 09;43;33;20

Jon

Yes, it's so unusual to practice.


09;43;33;10 - 09;43;24;00

Aaron

That's what we're talking about is cultivate ultimately the core of the issues. We're cultivating gratitude because it's the same burger, it's the same. Bacon's the same coffee. You're just more grateful.


09;43;23;29 - 09;43;23;04

Jon

It's perspective.


09;43;22;29 - 09;43;21;24

Aaron

You're just more grateful for it.


09;43;21;22 - 09;42;55;17

Jon

It's perspective in this. It's interesting. It's hard. Hardness struggle suffering is a natural. Focusing agent, right, and it puts you in the mind state of gratitude being for having abundance, being comfortable. Put you in the in the opposite right now, you're now you're being bothered by the slight irritants, you know, like the small things.


09;42;55;03 - 09;42;35;07

Jon

And that's one of the reasons that we're like at least I know you are. Hard to say we are such huge proponents of doing hard, difficult physical challenges and getting our hands dirty and doing physical projects and doing all these different things and pushing ourselves because we can create some artificial temporary suffering in our lives.


09;42;35;03 - 09;42;34;05

Aaron

It's like our test tube.


09;42;33;27 - 09;42;22;10

Jon

Yeah. To keep us to keep the minds appreciative of when we're not doing those things. So it's like. And guess what? That's just preparation. Life's not going to be like. People are not naturally good. Life's not going to be great.


09;42;22;01 - 09;42;16;12

Jon

Like, life is going to have valleys with the rises. You know, this is.


09;42;16;12 - 09;41;59;23

Aaron

This is where we talked about loving labor, not leisure, because we because leisure is sweetened by great labor. Mm-Hmm. And like, I love the value of sitting in a chair after putting in a really hard physical work day or whatever.


09;41;59;22 - 09;41;54;14

Aaron

Yeah, I mean, don't you just love that moment? Like, it's satisfying. It feels great, but you have to earn it.


09;41;54;12 - 09;41;45;08

Jon

How crazy it is. Is it even to think that sitting down in a chair as a reward, right? Like, that's a good example of the types of things here. Simple.


09;41;45;00 - 09;41;30;13

Aaron

Yeah, that's the thing. It doesn't it? Everything. The the taste of things like we were saying, hunger is a great seasoning. I think what we try to do for seasoning is we we try to purchase the thing for the seasoning.


09;41;30;13 - 09;41;19;27

Aaron

And really, it's it's not purchased with money. It's purchase with effort. Hmm. And that's what makes it taste so good. Make your own meal once it will taste better. It's weird.


09;41;19;22 - 09;41;09;16

Jon

Well, it's interesting because it's like a lot of people are like, Time is money, right? Yeah. But really, Tom's time, like you just said it's purchased with effort. You can't get a second back. You can't get a minute.


09;41;09;16 - 09;40;59;19

Jon

You not going to be able to earn the hour you just spend back. Yeah. All you can. But you can earn more money. So it's like, really, no time is time. And if you're not jealous of your time, you're liable to waste it.


09;40;59;18 - 09;40;42;27

Jon

Yeah. You know, I just saw this idea. It was like, Netflix isn't 1799 a month. It's your time. Social media isn't free. It costs your focus, right? And I was like, Oh, that's pretty cool, but that's a powerful way to look at it.


09;40;42;25 - 09;40;23;16

Jon

Yup, yup. And then right after that, I was having a conversation with Billy. I'm forgetting the name of the episode. It wasn't just do it. Mm hmm. I would just commit to just commit from that. But we were talking yesterday and he ended up sending me some things, and one of them that was really cool was it


09;40;23;12 - 09;40;10;13

Jon

was just like little Instagram post from a dude named Emmanuel. I want to say also if I mispronounced and I apologize, but I've no idea who that guy is, but what he said was pretty profound. I loved it.


09;40;10;05 - 09;40;05;29

Jon

You, it was. People fail to achieve what they want most for what they want now.


09;40;04;12 - 09;40;04;02

Jon

And.


09;40;02;04 - 09;39;58;15

Aaron

That is interesting, want most for want now.


09;39;58;04 - 09;39;49;07

Jon

In that goes back to to this whole perspective thing, right? Like there's stories of people who give up their inheritance for a bowl of soup. Yeah, because they're starving.


09;39;45;23 - 09;39;27;06

Aaron

If you. That's it we're trying to talk about as we're trying to take the same things you're going to get in this world, we want the taste sweeter. We want you to enjoy it more. But it's not going to be like if you fast track it without going through the process, it will never taste as sweet as


09;39;27;06 - 09;39;26;18

Aaron

you want it to.


09;39;26;06 - 09;39;16;01

Jon

Well, and also there's a factor of how do you in the day to day when things are good? Cultivate the strength to say no to the things that are out of desperation you want now. Right? Right. Of weakness or laziness.


09;39;16;01 - 09;39;10;20

Jon

Or insert whatever you want now for the thing that you're truly working and desire most.


09;39;09;29 - 09;38;57;22

Aaron

Yeah, it's, you know, because it's this train chain trading his inheritance for the stew now like I need, I need satisfaction over an inheritance like that's what's greater.


09;38;57;13 - 09;38;44;26

Jon

What I want most is to be the best version of myself. Yeah. What I want now or what? Not right. This second boat I want tonight is a couple of years. What I want tonight is to not push intentionally into town with my wife.


09;38;44;23 - 09;38;24;14

Jon

Mm-Hmm. What I want tonight is to use some stupid excuse not to be present with my kids, right? But that's not what I want most in it and in my mind, it's how do I create the disciplined response to say no to the things I want now for the things that I desire most so that they can


09;38;24;14 - 09;38;07;29

Jon

come to fruition? Yep, part one and part two is how do I keep a grateful mentality that doesn't cause me to begin to spurn that, which I desired most in the past? And I'm walking through now on this continued like crazy thing called journey life, whatever.


09;38;07;25 - 09;38;07;09

Jon

Yeah.


09;38;07;01 - 09;37;48;07

Aaron

And you have to experience that, though, to understand that because what you're chasing right now is is being deep, more deeply satisfied with what is which, what you already have for you without taking shortcuts that without spending time on just your own interest that only serve you, you're gone.


09;37;48;06 - 09;37;34;26

Aaron

What if I really commit to having deeper intimacy with my wife and closeness with my kids and really show up at my job and really be a great friend? That's what.


09;37;34;26 - 09;37;26;07

Jon

I want. Well, for some reason when you said the intimacy with my wife and invest in all those relationships that are critical. Yeah, I.


09;37;25;05 - 09;37;24;27

Jon

I.


09;37;24;11 - 09;37;17;29

Jon

Can't remember I hear this, but it sounds like everyone's always saying the grass is greener on the other lawn. False. The grass is greener when you water.


09;37;17;29 - 09;37;13;24

Jon

It's right. That's right. When you water it, it's like you want.


09;37;13;24 - 09;37;11;23

Jon

To have a better relationship with your wife. Invest in.


09;37;11;23 - 09;37;10;27

Aaron

It. Exactly.


09;37;10;19 - 09;36;51;04

Jon

It's it's a it's a mutual journey, which is which is funny, you know, talking about the love labor, not leisure. And we talked about the journey. Right. And there are some things that I think I've discovered in reflection that further some of the thoughts that we were exploring there.


09;36;51;02 - 09;36;36;16

Jon

Mm-Hmm. So, you know, in that you had mentioned that you realize when people become an obstacle, you're too focused on the reward or the victory of the finish line of whatever you're work