Image by asoggetti

The Grit Theory

Search

23. Pay it Forward _ Jeramiah Solven _ Part 1

Updated: Nov 12, 2021



 

Today we sit down with the indomitable Jeramiah Solven. Jeramiah is an Army Ranger Veteran, Amazon #1 Best Selling Author, MMA Fighter, Entrepreneur and Coach. He wrote “The Whole Man Project: Military Athlete Performance Manual”, founded Conquer Academy, and created Suffering Saturdays. Our conversation follows Jeramiah’s journey from shy country boy to Ranger Officer and Entrepreneur.

Highlights from our conversation include:

- Suffering Saturdays. - The true path to growth is through pain. - Attack what you hate. - Play scared, don’t live safe. - Asking hard questions about life. - The calling must be greater than the comfort. - Rollercoasters of self-doubt. - Pay it forward. - Ultra-marathons. - Get ahead of your negative dialog. - Engineering your ecosystem - MMA & Entrepreneurship - Growth Mindset

To learn more about Jeramiah check out his Instagram @jeramiahsolven.

If you are interested in picking up his book you can get it HERE.

Want to check out Conquer Academy? Click HERE.

Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

Join The Grit Theory Community Here!

 

08;06;39;05 - 08;06;29;28

Jon

All right, well, hello, everyone. Today we are joined with Jeramiah Solven, the man, the myth of legend. Before we jump in, we have a question for you, Jeramiah.


08;06;29;27 - 08;06;29;10

Jeramiah

Yeah, let's go.


08;06;29;10 - 08;06;16;07

Jon

So for the first 19 episodes, we just were using our computer, Mike. So knowing that you have a podcast and much going on, we went out and bought all this stuff just so we looked official. It's actually not plugged into anything.


08;06;16;07 - 08;06;14;13

Aaron

Yeah, these lights don't mean anything.


08;06;13;28 - 08;06;08;27

Jeramiah

It's also don't go anywhere. But do we look cool? You look legit? Yes. All right.


08;06;08;22 - 08;06;07;16

Jeramiah

Credibility established.


08;06;06;29 - 08;06;05;27

Jon

So we look legitimate, though.


08;06;05;25 - 08;06;03;08

Jeramiah

Yeah, you guys do have credibility, like I said, established last year.


08;06;02;10 - 08;06;00;06

Jon

We'll figure out how to plug it in for the next episode. But then.


08;06;00;05 - 08;05;58;13

Jeramiah

Yeah, yeah. Great.


08;05;57;15 - 08;05;56;09

Aaron

Thanks for making us better, Jeramiah.


08;05;56;00 - 08;05;54;15

Jeramiah

Yeah, good stuff.


08;05;54;06 - 08;05;41;00

Aaron

All kidding aside, actually, can I can I jump in for a sec? So I was Instagram stalking you and a couple of things. I don't know which one I should pick first, but one of them was a burpee mile.


08;05;40;16 - 08;05;38;13

Jeramiah

Yeah. What the heck is wrong with you, man?


08;05;38;12 - 08;05;35;18

Jeramiah

Has my suffering Saturday workout suffering Saturday?


08;05;35;18 - 08;05;34;05

Aaron

Tell us what that is?


08;05;33;20 - 08;05;14;19

Jeramiah

Yeah. So I I guess you could call it my trademark, you know, program or challenge, right? For people to improve themself. It's a weekly event that I designed is to grow mentally and physically. So every week I go out and do something that pushes me and challenges me, although sometimes it's like super physical where, you know, once


08;05;14;19 - 08;05;04;08

Jeramiah

I'm around from my house to the top of Pikes Peak, OK, which was and back down, which ended up being like 32 miles. I didn't take very much food and water, just it.


08;05;04;08 - 08;05;02;18

Aaron

Just a that's a challenge.


08;05;02;18 - 08;04;47;29

Jeramiah

It is big time just to test my resilience and see see what I could do. And that's it was a 7000 foot climb. I finished that in about a day's time, but then afterwards. The sufferings that a workout was to do that, plus a small workout afterwards.


08;04;47;24 - 08;04;46;27

Jeramiah

Oh, so.


08;04;46;23 - 08;04;45;09

Jon

How small was the follow on work?


08;04;45;09 - 08;04;35;06

Jeramiah

It was. It was just literally do any type of workout in the gym and I didn't know what I was going to be capable of. So I got to the bottom of the hill and my wife actually picked me up.


08;04;35;06 - 08;04;24;03

Jeramiah

So I ran from my house to the top of the mountain back down, but I run back to my house. I ended it at the bottom of the mountain. Yeah, that was the goal. So did that. She took me to the gym and as I'm getting out of car like I couldn't, I couldn't.


08;04;23;21 - 08;04;19;05

Jeramiah

I was so broke off and I'm literally limping into the gym. I sit down, I'm sunburnt.


08;04;18;28 - 08;04;18;19

Jeramiah

Yeah.


08;04;18;02 - 08;04;09;20

Jeramiah

You know, faces like just completely red and I'm trying to throw around weights in there and it was the most pathetic workout. But I got it done.


08;04;09;20 - 08;04;09;06

Jeramiah

So yeah.


08;04;08;23 - 08;03;52;20

Jeramiah

So, so suffering Saturday. I know that sounds extreme, but I've done other things too. Like one day I leaned more on the mental. Yeah, and I didn't speak for a whole day. I challenge my discipline and turned my cell phone off.


08;03;52;20 - 08;03;45;07

Jeramiah

At the same time, I called it the silent treatment workout, right? A full day of that, which was interesting because I still went up, went to the store and people were like.


08;03;45;07 - 08;03;44;16

Jeramiah

Talking to me.


08;03;44;03 - 08;03;41;18

Jeramiah

And I was just like looking at them like deer in the headlights.


08;03;40;03 - 08;03;39;20

Jeramiah

So.


08;03;39;11 - 08;03;33;11

Jeramiah

So, so suffering Saturday is I know it's pretty unique for a lot of people to hear that it's like, Why the hell do you do this?


08;03;33;04 - 08;03;32;10

Aaron

That's intriguing.


08;03;32;05 - 08;03;22;22

Jeramiah

Yeah, and it can be anything from, you know, it could be a ten minute workout. That's that's something you've been avoiding or maybe an all day event. Yeah, that really challenges you and pushes you. But the idea is every single weekend.


08;03;22;22 - 08;03;07;08

Jeramiah

So to your point, Darren was today's workout was the burpee mile. It's like it sounds you do, you know, four laps on the track or 600 meters of a burpee and a broad jump. And you don't you? That's it.


08;03;07;08 - 08;03;05;24

Jeramiah

That's that simple. As it sounds.


08;03;05;24 - 08;03;05;11

Jeramiah

Just one.


08;03;05;07 - 08;02;57;11

Aaron

Man about about what part of the mile are you like? OK, I got it. I got. I got to engage my mind on this, and I'm.


08;02;57;11 - 08;02;50;21

Jeramiah

Sure the first the first two burpees. I like, man, I got a long list of mistakes that brought my.


08;02;50;21 - 08;02;39;13

Jeramiah

Dog out there, you know, so he was keeping me company. That was fine, but it was good. It was a good time is just, you know, it was a matter of just consistency and staying focused and not letting yourself talk yourself out of it.


08;02;38;28 - 08;02;36;23

Jeramiah

Totally manageable. Just, you know, just a grinder.


08;02;36;22 - 08;02;34;27

Aaron

I think your dog is concerned about you.


08;02;34;22 - 08;02;34;16

Jeramiah

Like.


08;02;34;03 - 08;02;30;25

Aaron

I just think of his perspective, like, what is he doing now?


08;02;30;24 - 08;02;28;28

Jeramiah

He's we've been paddling around for years now.


08;02;28;28 - 08;02;27;02

Jeramiah

He knows he's, you know, the crazy.


08;02;27;01 - 08;02;20;04

Jeramiah

Yeah, we've we've got me and him have gotten trapped. I got trapped in the snow with him. We've been on, we've been lost in the woods, together, in the snow.


08;02;20;04 - 08;02;19;25

Jeramiah

Yeah.


08;02;19;03 - 08;02;14;16

Jeramiah

You know, doing rock marches and climbing mountains and stuff. He's been through it all with me. He's a he's a good dog.


08;02;13;28 - 08;02;13;22

Jeramiah

Well.


08;02;12;13 - 08;02;10;11

Jeramiah

You know, familiar territory for him.


08;02;09;24 - 08;02;09;06

Jeramiah

But anyway.


08;02;08;26 - 08;01;55;21

Jon

You know, I love it. I'm a fellow pain connoisseur. So yeah, right now I'm on it more of like a not a slow trickle, but just a consistent trickle of pain. So every day for long expanses, I'm doing something I hate.


08;01;55;19 - 08;01;55;09

Jeramiah

Yeah.


08;01;55;02 - 08;01;44;15

Jon

And it's been really good. So like right now it's 4:15 wake up straight into the pool stretch for a minimum of ten minutes. And whatever my workout is.


08;01;43;13 - 08;01;42;28

Jeramiah

I like it.


08;01;42;24 - 08;01;30;05

Jon

Yeah, it's it's been good though, man. I've really been. So it's and I love this experience too, because like even with these like things like right now, I'm on day 30, something of 100, and it's like. They're good, but they become part of your rhythm.


08;01;30;05 - 08;01;22;18

Jon

You adapt, you cast your mind to it and then it's like, OK, it's time for 1000 calories on this old bike or it's time for. I've never done a Berkeley mile, but I can tell you, I'm about you.


08;01;22;13 - 08;01;21;16

Jon

You're going to.


08;01;21;15 - 08;01;18;09

Aaron

Yeah, he did seem he seemed like there's a light in your eye when you it.


08;01;17;28 - 08;01;16;27

Jon

It's an exciting idea.


08;01;16;00 - 08;01;13;23

Jeramiah

I've done the devil's mile, which is like a.


08;01;13;02 - 08;00;49;17

Jon

So the devil smile is. 400 meters of the fallen force, you have your project burpees, it's crab walks, lunges and overhead plate carry. Hmm. So and then there's the iron one, which is fun where you yoga? Yeah. And you walk like with 1:35 for the mile and it's like the weights.


08;00;49;17 - 08;00;39;20

Jon

Nothing but what sucks is your arms. Everything dies. Yeah, right? So it's just the pain. It's just the mental game, but never a burpee miles. So that will have to change. Yeah, thank you. Yeah.


08;00;39;06 - 08;00;36;26

Jeramiah

I'm looking forward to seeing it on social audio.


08;00;36;10 - 08;00;35;26

Jon

I'll take you.


08;00;35;26 - 08;00;35;21

Jeramiah

Out.


08;00;35;03 - 08;00;33;27

Jeramiah

Yeah. So what.


08;00;33;26 - 08;00;29;15

Aaron

Are you? So you said your trademark. So why? Why are you doing these things? Tell us a little about, you know?


08;00;28;24 - 08;00;18;28

Jeramiah

Yeah, it's a good question. So I usually I get that question like, Hey, why are you going out every week and pushing yourself and doing suffering Saturday? What caused you to create it? And I usually get asked, You know, how do I create one?


08;00;18;08 - 08;00;09;08

Jeramiah

So usually what people like to ask me that are interested and, you know, like yourself, you know, I both of you guys really because I'm Aaron. Do you like to do hard things do?


08;00;09;06 - 08;00;09;00

Jeramiah

Yes.


08;00;09;00 - 08;00;06;26

Aaron

Yeah, I'm Jon's my friend.


08;00;06;24 - 08;00;03;24

Jeramiah

That's the hardest thing. Yeah, yeah. Well, what.


08;00;03;24 - 09;59;47;00

Jeramiah

I've learned over the years is that, you know, the true path of growth is always through pain. And there was a period of my time where I was reflecting on how I've grown as a person. Mm hmm. And you know, I was I'm a very, you know, logical, practical type of individual.


09;59;47;00 - 09;59;44;02

Jeramiah

I like to put things into steps. I like to systemize everything.


09;59;44;01 - 09;59;43;15

Jeramiah

Yeah.


09;59;43;15 - 09;59;34;11

Jeramiah

And if I can do that, then I can guarantee that I can continue on that path with his mental, minimal amount of thought and energy as possible and still get to the thing that I'm working on, right? Yep.


09;59;33;25 - 09;59;20;13

Jeramiah

So I was just reflecting and I was looking back on my life and I had, you know, realize I had just transformed from this really small, shy kid into, you know, doing some pretty cool things in the military and getting into entrepreneurship.


09;59;20;13 - 09;59;08;03

Jeramiah

And I was, you know, I'm like, How did this happen? You know, how did this transformation happen? And I realized it was through all the things that made me scared, made me nervous, you know, pushing myself through.


09;59;07;24 - 09;59;07;15

Jeramiah

The.


09;59;07;08 - 09;58;48;19

Jeramiah

Uncomfortable things in life that produced that product. Mm-Hmm. I realized it was through suffering, you know? And so Saturdays had always been a day where I had kind of dabbled in doing harder physical things. You know, maybe I would do things maybe once a month or every couple of months, I'd go to a race or something, right


09;58;48;10 - 09;58;42;09

Jeramiah

? Like a lot of people do. But because I'm practical and I like to systemize, I said, Why don't I just do this every single Saturday?


09;58;41;27 - 09;58;40;13

Jon

Make it a keystone habit. Yeah.


09;58;40;13 - 09;58;30;24

Jeramiah

So I literally will wake up Saturday, and I'll say, Man, what do I not want to do today? And then I build a workout around it and try and knock it out and do it. Yeah.


09;58;30;07 - 09;58;28;13

Jeramiah

Do the things you hate. Oh, that do.


09;58;28;13 - 09;58;18;07

Jeramiah

That's the cornerstone of everything. It's my it's the cornerstone of my business. It's the cornerstone of how I coach my clients. Everything we want is on the other side of the shit we don't want to do. Hands down, man.


09;58;18;07 - 09;58;15;08

Jeramiah

So why not just do it every single day or at least build it into your life, you know?


09;58;15;07 - 09;58;14;23

Jeramiah

Yeah.


09;58;14;17 - 09;58;05;20

Jon

Well, you see that a lot too. Like, I'm just thinking about when pressure starts to mount, right? If you start going down the right path. It seems like everything starts to hit the fan. Good ole Murphy just comes a knockin.


09;58;05;19 - 09;58;05;09

Jeramiah

Yeah.


09;58;04;26 - 09;57;48;16

Jon

And the natural inclination I'll be, I believe fundamentally the wrong one is to back off then and then you give up the things that will actually transform your life positively. And what you're talking about attack what you hate when you start doing something you know is good for you, and everything starts at the fan.


09;57;47;18 - 09;57;34;26

Jon

Start smiling, baby and just tackle that thing. Yeah, that's what I like about your set yourself from charities. Having talked about a little bit is you wake up in the morning and you imagine some design in advance, but typically it sounds like you wake up in the morning.


09;57;34;26 - 09;57;27;08

Jon

It's like, what do I least want to do? And then you're honest enough with yourself to say this because you can't run from yourself anyways. It's like.


09;57;27;07 - 09;57;23;27

Jeramiah

That's the point of the work. Yeah, it's like, there it is. I'm like, Oh shit.


09;57;22;08 - 09;57;21;24

Jeramiah

Like what?


09;57;21;23 - 09;57;15;21

Jeramiah

Like, for example, one time, you know, the David Goggins challenge was going on four by four by 48, right?


09;57;15;20 - 09;57;15;12

Jeramiah

Yep.


09;57;15;07 - 09;57;07;11

Jeramiah

And it's Friday. I had a busy week with work. I had not committed to the four by four, by 48. I was like, I'm not going to do this. Yes, I have other shit I'm going to focus on.


09;57;07;08 - 09;56;50;26

Jeramiah

And it started on Friday, so I said no. And then I woke up the next day and a couple of my friends were doing it. And so I'm like, What am I going to do for suffering Saturday? And I see everybody doing the Goggins challenge, and I'm like, shit, I'm like, So I'm like, How can I do


09;56;50;26 - 09;56;42;27

Jeramiah

this? A version of this and still challenge myself and kind of show support to my friends who are doing it. So I did 48 miles in 24 hours.


09;56;42;15 - 09;56;41;16

Jon

I saw eight mile trunks.


09;56;40;23 - 09;56;39;13

Jeramiah

I broke it up. It varied.


09;56;39;12 - 09;56;25;19

Jeramiah

Yeah, OK. So it was a 24 hour period I was running basically, you know, from the time I woke up off and on throughout the day, midnight. And I just try to cram it in. But it all started by seeing my friends do this four by four by 48.


09;56;25;19 - 09;56;19;11

Jeramiah

I didn't want to do. And I look and I see it on social and my stomach turned on my shit. I'm doing 40 fucking miles.


09;56;17;24 - 09;56;16;10

Jeramiah

And it was that made me nauseous.


09;56;16;10 - 09;56;05;26

Jeramiah

I looked over my wife because we were still in bed and I was like, Guess what I'm doing for suffering Saturday? And she's like, What? And I'm like the gay. I'm doing 40 miles, and she's just like she raised her eyebrows, she was like, OK.


09;56;05;25 - 09;56;04;28

Jeramiah

And I'm like, Yeah, I know.


09;56;03;08 - 09;56;00;11

Jeramiah

Someone did it. So that's usually how it happens. Like that?


09;55;59;20 - 09;55;46;04

Aaron

Yeah, you see, I used to like, you know, it's like because you've kind of made, I guess we've talked about like contract with yourself. You're like, Hey, you're out, you're not giving yourself an out. You're just saying, like, Yeah, I know it sucks, but that's not the out.


09;55;46;04 - 09;55;37;08

Aaron

The the out is. This is the most time. People say, Oh, this is really difficult. This is crazy. So I get an excuse. I get a pass on this. Yeah, you don't give yourself a pass.


09;55;37;07 - 09;55;30;07

Jeramiah

No, I mean, since I started posting on Instagram, I haven't missed a single day, a single Saturday in about two years or more.


09;55;29;26 - 09;55;29;00

Jeramiah

Yeah, it's been.


09;55;28;17 - 09;55;20;27

Jeramiah

You know, everything. And I mean, I almost broke my ankle. one time I broke it on a or sprained it really bad on a Friday and then woke up the next day.


09;55;20;14 - 09;55;18;25

Aaron

Yeah. And it's like, there's your out right now.


09;55;18;25 - 09;55;07;19

Jeramiah

I'm on crutches. Yeah, could have been excuse I. When I went to the Red Rocks, open space and all my crutches, and for an hour or two hours I was climbing mountains on my crutches. People were looking at me like I was fucking insane.


09;55;07;09 - 09;55;04;16

Jeramiah

I was with me and she was just shaking her head, laughing the whole time.


09;55;03;21 - 09;54;50;10

Aaron

That's like Goggins says, like stealing your soul. I mean, can you imagine looking into the eyes of the person who's like, You know, they got they got the nice water bottle? Yeah, just kind of having it leisurely with their poodle, that kind of thing.


09;54;50;10 - 09;54;49;14

Aaron

And you're on your crutches.


09;54;49;03 - 09;54;41;25

Jeramiah

Just like I was pretty happy I was sweating. I got a lot of support out there on that right that you were coming.


09;54;41;25 - 09;54;39;17

Jeramiah

Out being super friendly, man. They were like, I love it.


09;54;39;17 - 09;54;36;02

Jeramiah

I love it. Yeah, you didn't care. I made you do this. What made you do this?


09;54;35;29 - 09;54;31;19

Jeramiah

I was like, Hey, man, just, you know, had to do something today. I had to get out of the house, is what I told them to get.


09;54;31;19 - 09;54;28;15

Aaron

The house didn't just affect you in that choice, too.


09;54;28;14 - 09;54;28;03

Jeramiah

Yeah.


09;54;27;23 - 09;54;14;13

Jon

Well, you talked about how since you started posting on social, you've not missed like anything in just about two years. And it is interesting because like. Social media does have a lot of positive power if you engage with it, right?


09;54;14;12 - 09;54;10;06

Jon

Right. It's a tool, yeah. And like you can use as an accountability piece like, well, I'm putting it out there.


09;54;10;05 - 09;54;00;05

Jeramiah

Yeah, well, for me, it was instant. So when I created suffering Saturday, I instantly announced that I was going to be doing it. And then I started showing it. On day one, I started, You know, Hey, this is my first suffering Saturday workout.


09;54;00;03 - 09;53;47;10

Jeramiah

And so from the time I started at publishing it and committed to the plan, I've never missed it. Like when I had that epiphany of God to do it. I got to put something together every week. I'm challenging myself, made the decision every single Saturday something.


09;53;47;04 - 09;53;31;29

Jon

Yeah, and it's fun. That's good stuff. So early. You mentioned something that kind of caught my ear and you were talking about how you were once a shallow kid and then you transformed. You had a pretty interesting military career from I can see some cool stuff there.


09;53;31;19 - 09;53;21;11

Jon

Now you're an entrepreneur doing multiple ventures. But I'd love to hear those like what sparked the transformation from shy, timid Jeremiah to who you are now.


09;53;20;29 - 09;53;19;22

Jeramiah

Yeah. You know, just.


09;53;19;13 - 09;53;16;22

Jon

Chiseled alabaster god Jesus sitting across the.


09;53;16;22 - 09;53;14;04

Jeramiah

Table. I appreciate that. I don't know about it.


09;53;12;21 - 09;53;05;15

Jeramiah

You know, man, it was a series of tough decisions is what caused me to be who I am now.


09;53;04;12 - 09;53;04;07

Jeramiah

You know.


09;53;04;07 - 09;52;47;18

Jeramiah

I grew up low income in the middle of nowhere town of like 300 people. My dad, like, hijacked the television cable so we can have a little bit of TV in the house, right? We didn't have internet. I spent a lot of my time as a kid running around the woods hunting with my dad.


09;52;46;25 - 09;52;27;18

Jeramiah

So and I've got three brothers, so, you know, we lived kind of a sheltered life and we lived away from normal society. So as I started progressing, you know, I was young for my grade in every class that I went into just because of where my birthday falls and then because I was from a small town, I


09;52;27;18 - 09;52;16;09

Jeramiah

was really shy. Mm-Hmm. And so his life kind of like moved on and moved on. I got into high school and my graduating high school class, my senior class was 100 people. So for me, that felt like I was in the middle of L.A..


09;52;15;29 - 09;52;11;09

Jeramiah

It was like, Holy shit, going from 300 people, you know, in my little village, essentially.


09;52;10;22 - 09;52;09;19

Jeramiah

To to his.


09;52;09;19 - 09;51;55;09

Jeramiah

High school class of 100 people. So it took some getting used to. And you know, I was the guy in high school where if you the teacher called on me, you know what? I was always sit in the back to.


09;51;55;09 - 09;51;43;01

Jeramiah

If you called on me, I get flush. I turned bright red, didn't know what to say and choke up and not be able to do anything. So, you know, fast forward, I turn into a company infantry company commander.


09;51;43;01 - 09;51;39;18

Jeramiah

I've led Rangers in combat, served with Rangers and from the 70.


09;51;39;18 - 09;51;39;06

Jeramiah

fifth.


09;51;37;23 - 09;51;25;24

Jeramiah

Down some of these physical things. And it's like, how the fuck did this happen? Yeah. You know, so it all really just started from one decision where my first dream was, I want to be an athlete.


09;51;25;18 - 09;51;25;08

Jeramiah

Mm hmm.


09;51;25;04 - 09;51;12;16

Jeramiah

So because I was small child from a little town, I got into high school. Not a whole lot of confidence. And I started and I tried out for the wrestling team and I started doing OK. I started making some progress about my senior year.


09;51;12;16 - 09;51;06;24

Jeramiah

I was I was beaten people and I'm like, Man, I wonder if I can, you know, go on to the college level and compete. And so that was my dream.


09;51;06;19 - 09;51;06;09

Jeramiah

Mm-Hmm.


09;51;05;17 - 09;50;51;29

Jeramiah

But I wasn't I wasn't good enough, didn't didn't make it to the levels that I wanted to. And after high school, because I wasn't lining up to achieve that, you know, dream as an athlete, I didn't really have any other plan.


09;50;51;04 - 09;50;40;21

Jeramiah

So I followed what my friends were doing, and I went to a community college about three hours from where I grew up. And just honestly, you know, I had quit on that dream and I felt like a failure.


09;50;39;28 - 09;50;28;11

Jeramiah

You know, and that was for me, it was it was tough. And maybe it doesn't sound tough for a lot of people. But your first dream, like when that doesn't happen, it hurts. It's like, Fuck man, you know, you're a big letdown.


09;50;28;11 - 09;50;17;07

Jeramiah

And especially when you come from a small town where you don't really have much belief in yourself anyway, right? You don't really think big anyway. And when you do start to dream a dream and then it doesn't line up, you're like, Well, I guess I'm not.


09;50;17;01 - 09;50;14;08

Jeramiah

I guess I'm not meant for anything significant, right?


09;50;14;07 - 09;50;13;28

Jeramiah

Hmm.


09;50;13;17 - 09;49;52;16

Jeramiah

You know, so yeah, I went to a community college for two semesters and felt pretty miserable inside. Yeah, my self-image was really bad. I saw myself as a failure athlete. And then I come home one day and I just had basically gone to the point where I had enough my my girlfriend from high school and I had


09;49;52;16 - 09;49;40;24

Jeramiah

broken up. My best friend from high school had gone on and served in the military. I was with kind of a new group of fat friends. And you know, I just I just was there, just a lot of emptiness inside of me.


09;49;40;24 - 09;49;39;10

Aaron

So it's like, who am I?


09;49;39;10 - 09;49;28;20

Jeramiah

A moment exactly like no purpose, no direction. The dream that I had before absolutely crushed. And now here I am, kind of clocking in and clocking out. Right, right. No, no real goal inside of schools.


09;49;28;20 - 09;49;27;23

Aaron

That stick like.


09;49;27;15 - 09;49;25;28

Jeramiah

You know, wherever. Yeah, yeah.


09;49;25;28 - 09;49;11;22

Jeramiah

And it just got to the point where I walked home one day and I opened the door and everybody, you know, my friends were. They were partying about at about 2:00 p.m. in the afternoon, and they're really successful people now, and they've all been great, but at the time we were young and I walked in on that and


09;49;11;22 - 09;48;59;18

Jeramiah

I just it triggered me. I was like, I'm done. I think I'm fucking down with. So actually, I need it out. I would say my transformation started out of desperation. OK. You know, it was really the big thing.


09;48;59;18 - 09;48;45;12

Jeramiah

A lot of guys sign up for the military, for maybe patriotism or for college education. Me, I just wanted the hell out of my situation. You know, I needed something different. So that caused me to join the military.


09;48;45;12 - 09;48;33;08

Jeramiah

I picked the military because I had seen some other people go down that route and I was like, Man, their lives don't look that bad. Looks pretty good. You know, they've got money coming in. They got, you know, they're buying cars.


09;48;33;08 - 09;48;14;20

Jeramiah

They look like they have some stability. Let me let me go and try out. And so anyways, I took off and went that direction, and it really just snowballed. You know, I got into training to basic training. That initial like decision of going from college into the military made my stomach turn right.


09;48;14;19 - 09;48;04;20

Jeramiah

I was nervous, I was scared and I was like, Fuck it, I got to get out of this place that I'm in, so I go and I start getting some little victories. You know, I go to basic, I'm a student leader.


09;48;04;20 - 09;47;53;00

Jeramiah

I go to advanced individual training, I'm a student leader again. And I'm nervous as hell the whole time. But like for some reason, the instructors kind of keep piling on responsibilities to me. And I really, I think what happened?


09;47;51;27 - 09;47;49;07

Jeramiah

Is I didn't want to fail, and I was so scared.


09;47;48;14 - 09;47;48;01

Jeramiah

That.


09;47;48;01 - 09;47;42;18

Jeramiah

Whatever they gave me, I found a way to get achieve success. You know what I'm saying? Like, Hey, I want you to.


09;47;42;08 - 09;47;41;29

Jeramiah

Take.


09;47;41;23 - 09;47;35;18

Jeramiah

Charge of your your other peers here in basic training and make sure they go into the chow hall and they're out on time, right? And I'm thinking like.


09;47;35;00 - 09;47;29;20

Jeramiah

Fuck, fuck fuck. They found me out. Yeah, yeah. Like, I got to get all these guys up.


09;47;29;19 - 09;47;22;18

Jeramiah

I don't want to fail this, right? So, you know, a lot of or any type of like small success I had along the way came from fear of failure and like.


09;47;22;17 - 09;47;21;11

Jeramiah

How to fuck it up, right?


09;47;20;24 - 09;47;14;25

Aaron

But you showed up, though, like, I get that all that feeling was there. But you're like, I'm still going to, yeah, I'm going to do it.


09;47;14;24 - 09;47;06;06

Jeramiah

Yeah, absolutely. It was. And I think that most of my journey has been like that. I've played scared most of my life and not lived safe.


09;47;05;26 - 09;47;05;11

Jeramiah

Yeah. Yeah.


09;47;05;09 - 09;46;59;12

Jeramiah

You know what I mean? From the time I decided to join the military and then after that.


09;46;58;23 - 09;46;58;12