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11. Beyond Survival _ Rick Clapp _ Part 3

Updated: Nov 15, 2021


 

Today we are joined by Rick Clapp. During our conversation we explore leadership, work life balance, and how to live abundantly. Our time together uncovers nugget after nugget of insight and wisdom. Rick is a husband of 27 years, father of 6, and founder of "Beyond Survival". Highlights from this episode include: - Theory of Constraints. - The importance of self regulation. - Leading on Empty, and how to fix it. - Journey towards intentionality. - The 5% Framework - The Red, Yellow, Green Scale. - Living abundantly vs. surviving. - The Power of Full Engagement. - Why we need to learn to combine our personal and professional pursuits. Want to learn more? Check Rick's work out at: BEYOND SURVIVAL Did you find value in today’s conversation? SHARE IT!

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09;20;00;29 - 09;19;57;14

Rick

Laura had a bad day. All it's going to do is.


09;19;56;26 - 09;19;53;14

Aaron

Zap what little? And I go into survival.


09;19;52;22 - 09;19;40;18

Aaron

And it's like, All right, I need to figure out, All right, maybe I need to go out for a drive. All right. And I'm trying to recover because I don't want to abdicate my responsibilities. I don't want to check out.


09;19;40;01 - 09;19;37;27

Rick

But I'm human and I want to learn.


09;19;37;27 - 09;19;37;03

Aaron

How to regulate.


09;19;37;03 - 09;19;34;26

Rick

So if I'm always running on empty.


09;19;34;26 - 09;19;27;26

Aaron

Or a slow charge of 20% throughout the week, I got nothing really for the most important things in my life. That's what I've learned through my burnout.


09;19;27;08 - 09;19;24;18

Rick

But if I'm managing my life giving and.


09;19;24;18 - 09;19;23;12

Aaron

Actually makes room for.


09;19;23;10 - 09;19;22;15

Rick

That, I can handle the.


09;19;22;15 - 09;19;20;02

Aaron

Hardships and the mediocrity.


09;19;19;25 - 09;19;19;10

Aaron

That is.


09;19;19;08 - 09;19;12;24

Aaron

That's what we were talking about this right now. They're podcasts like this. I was just thinking to the master key and yes.


09;19;12;21 - 09;18;51;03

Jon

Episode two, it's called Restaurant Nights, looking at the concept, and I started discussing right when Aaron showed up on. How changing like, how you can utilize change to recharge. And it's essentially what you're talking about if you start trying to work whatever your work is and you find it that a change of pace that recharges use, throwing


09;18;51;03 - 09;18;30;11

Jon

the ball and ruling and investing in your kids. Yeah, that change in that investment at that time, that whimsical play well could be something is precisely the type of change we're talking about in restaurants. So it's kind of fine because there there's just this core principle there that we're now having two very different conversations articulating the same


09;18;30;11 - 09;18;22;24

Jon

point for different energy and managers and viewpoint. So it's really fun. If you like this aspect of conversation, check out Episode ten Shameless Plug.


09;18;21;22 - 09;18;21;22

Aaron

Yeah.


09;18;20;04 - 09;18;16;28

Aaron

It reminds me of a book called The Power of Full Engagement.


09;18;16;11 - 09;18;15;01

Rick

Managing energy not.


09;18;15;01 - 09;18;12;13

Aaron

Time is the key to high performance and personal real.


09;18;11;26 - 09;18;09;24

Rick

Interesting, and this is a study.


09;18;09;24 - 09;18;06;26

Aaron

Of athletes and professionals and.


09;18;05;04 - 09;18;03;02

Rick

The reality is, is that energy.


09;18;02;26 - 09;18;00;28

Aaron

Is huge for us. This is you guys are.


09;18;00;28 - 09;17;58;12

Rick

Describing it and there's a great.


09;17;58;12 - 09;17;55;01

Aaron

Chapter in there on recovery, intentional recovery.


09;17;54;28 - 09;17;54;20

Rick

You know.


09;17;54;20 - 09;17;49;15

Aaron

Athletes have to intentionally recover their body nutrition, those kind of things.


09;17;48;24 - 09;17;46;29

Rick

And scientific study.


09;17;46;28 - 09;17;45;18

Aaron

On how.


09;17;45;10 - 09;17;43;22

Rick

We grow the deepest.


09;17;43;21 - 09;17;42;03

Aaron

When we recover the best.


09;17;41;18 - 09;17;41;12

Aaron

Mm hmm.


09;17;40;29 - 09;17;39;13

Rick

So there's some kind of aspect.


09;17;39;13 - 09;17;35;17

Aaron

Of strength that happens in the US where we set aside time to recover.


09;17;35;07 - 09;17;25;24

Rick

I think that's a wisdom out of God and in a Sabbath in which you see in the Bible. But I also see in the reality of when I have the freedom.


09;17;25;24 - 09;17;24;24

Aaron

To replenish.


09;17;24;23 - 09;17;24;17

Rick

And.


09;17;24;17 - 09;17;23;08

Aaron

Choose to replenish.


09;17;22;27 - 09;17;19;25

Rick

I am better. For everything that.


09;17;19;24 - 09;17;19;05

Aaron

Matters most.


09;17;18;13 - 09;17;16;26

Rick

To me when I push.


09;17;16;26 - 09;17;13;18

Aaron

Through like car, it's going to be a busy few weeks and will work on my days off.


09;17;13;00 - 09;17;07;08

Rick

I'm hanging on by a thread running on energy and I'm not better than hitting.


09;17;07;08 - 09;17;05;28

Aaron

Me of some side.


09;17;05;17 - 09;17;02;23

Rick

Curve ball comes in. But I didn't expect, and it.


09;17;02;23 - 09;17;01;24

Aaron

Just knocks me off.


09;17;01;01 - 09;16;49;25

Jon

So you say, Gee, thanks to that wonderful. The first one is the distinction of when you have the ability to rest, right? Yes, there are going to be times that her guess what?


09;16;49;15 - 09;16;48;19

Aaron

Buckle up, boys.


09;16;47;21 - 09;16;30;15

Jon

And there is no such thing as the opportunity to rest. No, that's fine. And in being intentional and aware enough to really look at the circumstances and say, is this that situation is important because it's easy to, at least in my experience, very easy to say in that situation.


09;16;30;13 - 09;16;18;23

Jon

Yeah, right? But once you're identified, no, this is in fact a situation where it's time to abolish it. Just keep going. Then you do what you have to do. That's right. But what you're talking about is beyond really challenging.


09;16;18;23 - 09;16;01;08

Jon

Is this what I need to do? And if the answer is no right, this isn't a situation in which you need to buckle in. You're choosing this. Then that's where if you really want to have impact, if you really want to lead well, if you really want to just drive and experience victory here, you'd better learn quickly


09;16;01;00 - 09;15;57;26

Jon

that that hole just go to take things not going to you there.


09;15;57;23 - 09;15;55;07

Rick

It's not. And I'm not throwing a ton of books at you.


09;15;55;04 - 09;15;50;20

Aaron

Another one that addresses that totally essentialism by Greg McCallum.


09;15;50;04 - 09;15;49;03

Rick

And it's the disciplined.


09;15;49;03 - 09;15;47;18

Aaron

Pursuit of doing less.


09;15;46;13 - 09;15;45;00

Rick

And he has some.


09;15;45;00 - 09;15;41;02

Aaron

Great thoughts in there about getting comfortable with disappointing others.


09;15;39;27 - 09;15;38;04

Aaron

Wow. Well, because.


09;15;37;13 - 09;15;35;23

Aaron

John's got a big student smile on his face.


09;15;34;26 - 09;15;31;17

Aaron

As much as he does, he loves this.


09;15;31;17 - 09;15;29;20

Aaron

Guy. You got it. I know it's a good place.


09;15;29;20 - 09;15;16;26

Jon

To be fair. I aspire to get more comfortable on that because I heard you made a comment earlier about your naturally peacekeeper. I 100% relate to that, and I'm not sure if those around you can see that. I don't know.


09;15;16;14 - 09;14;57;11

Jon

I imagine as close to me, I can see how that plays out, but I prefer to bridge the peace, especially in unison against a singular enemy, right? Like, if you are on the other line, you're my fellow. That's a very different conversation from I'm talking about, right, right here on the perceive my side.


09;14;56;24 - 09;14;38;06

Jon

We're on the same side, whatever that looks like. Then I want to be that peacekeeper until, you know, a line is crossed. But I love it because one of the things that I'm personally challenging myself in that I'm a better defining, frankly, from this conversation and I've been doing it through a lot of our conversations kind of


09;14;38;06 - 09;14;18;12

Jon

intuitively know like I want to with absolute comfort, you know, disappoint people because it's the right thing to do for the people. I'm responsible to the organizations, they're responsible to myself, to my faith, to whatever. And frankly, it's probably the right thing for them to do, as you know, whatever that may be, if you're not growing that


09;14;18;12 - 09;14;18;04

Jon

right?


09;14;17;28 - 09;14;16;19

Rick

Yeah. And I think it to.


09;14;16;19 - 09;14;14;26

Aaron

Me, it needs to be anchored to values.


09;14;14;16 - 09;14;13;20

Rick

And I think that's.


09;14;13;20 - 09;14;10;01

Aaron

Really where the rubber meets the road in.


09;14;10;01 - 09;14;03;29

Rick

Life because we can't do everything. You know, if if we only have certain amount of money.


09;14;03;29 - 09;14;03;04

Aaron

To send our kids to.


09;14;03;04 - 09;14;01;04

Rick

Camp and it's a.


09;14;01;04 - 09;13;55;05

Aaron

It's a winter retreat that's more spiritual in nature or to go to a basketball camp.


09;13;54;06 - 09;13;53;13

Rick

And we have to pick.


09;13;53;13 - 09;13;46;09

Aaron

Between those who are more likely going to do the winter retreat because I believe developing their souls to better prepare them for life, I don't think they're going to be.


09;13;45;15 - 09;13;44;13

Aaron

There's an easier decision.


09;13;43;16 - 09;13;41;24

Rick

It is because it's about you, even though.


09;13;41;24 - 09;13;41;21

Aaron

It's.


09;13;41;21 - 09;13;40;01

Aaron

Disappointing and they want to do both.


09;13;39;16 - 09;13;36;07

Rick

So it isn't just I love with disappointing people.


09;13;36;07 - 09;13;33;18

Aaron

In fact, I really don't. It's hard on me emotionally.


09;13;32;28 - 09;13;30;19

Rick

But if I made my decision anchored to values and at.


09;13;30;19 - 09;13;23;25

Aaron

Least I know why, I'm disappointed someone and then I'm still holding to that value and that helps me a little more integrity.


09;13;23;12 - 09;13;11;05

Jon

And to be clear, that's what I'm describing. Yeah, that's that's what I'm saying. I want to grow and not their disappointment. In spite, I know that intentional it's value basis for a reason. That's right. But just like the added.


09;13;09;21 - 09;13;02;22

Jon

The ability to be comfortable because I'm doing it right now, you are right being more comfortable and if.


09;13;02;14 - 09;12;47;09

Aaron

You will, and you got to start by disappointing yourself. Yeah, because there's certain situations, there's certain things that you have have that you want to do, but you've told yourself ahead of time. Hey, I've committed to this, this is a value of mine and this is competing with that value.


09;12;47;00 - 09;12;32;09

Aaron

And so you say no to yourself all the time. And so when somebody else comes along that wants to do something that's outside of your kind of your your mason jar or whatever. I don't have the room for that because my values is all I have, right?


09;12;32;04 - 09;12;28;17

Aaron

And that's all. I'm not adding more to my value.


09;12;28;14 - 09;12;26;00

Rick

Yeah, once you get comfortable with that, then you.


09;12;26;00 - 09;12;24;08

Aaron

Have to get comfortable with the resistance.


09;12;24;03 - 09;12;23;15

Rick

That comes.


09;12;23;15 - 09;12;12;15

Aaron

From you living out of values because people will be disappointed or frustrated opportunities that you may have wanted to lose because you're choosing your value over that opportunity.


09;12;10;29 - 09;12;08;20

Rick

Jobs that want you to do more.


09;12;08;20 - 09;12;05;11

Aaron

Than you're willing to want you on their team.


09;12;04;12 - 09;12;01;12

Rick

So it's not like it's all roses, you know? Hey.


09;12;00;20 - 09;11;58;17

Aaron

What does butterflies and rainbows where you're like.


09;11;58;03 - 09;11;56;23

Rick

I know my values now and I.


09;11;56;23 - 09;11;54;00

Aaron

Live out of principle and then everything is fine.


09;11;53;29 - 09;11;47;16

Rick

That's why I think it's really good on the inside. But you know, we we live in a.


09;11;47;15 - 09;11;43;26

Aaron

World I think that gravitates towards on health and not health, right?


09;11;43;23 - 09;11;41;25

Rick

So you're basically taking.


09;11;41;25 - 09;11;38;04

Aaron

Away from those things that are unhealthy and going to experience resistance.


09;11;37;11 - 09;11;29;07

Aaron

So every day on your devices? Yeah, right. Hey, check this out. Look at this. Read this article! Go to this link and sign up for this thing that to control your life like now.


09;11;28;28 - 09;11;08;24

Jon

And that's just like that low and static noise distraction, right? Because what you're talking about is define your values that are such that you're willing to say no to other things, right? It's right. I feel like so many people, myself included, not not as much now, but I can remember when saying no to something like you're you're


09;11;08;24 - 09;10;54;27

Jon

making a judgment call. Like, now that's not going to be, you know, hard to pass. And it takes a confidence and that is a skill, a muscle to be grown in current ones that we're talking about a lot.


09;10;54;25 - 09;10;44;22

Jon

It's OK, especially for leaders like if you're going to be leading anything, start really doing yourself, which we've already talked about, but you don't have to know how to say no to things and how to disappoint one dose.


09;10;44;18 - 09;10;25;27

Jon

You're leading, right? Just say no because it's off target or the wrong objective or different things. So the more you know. There, but it's also interesting, and I think that from what we've talked about with the arch rival India right now, Canada's mission is worth it.


09;10;25;20 - 09;10;10;25

Jon

It's easier to learn to say no in a leadership capacity or professional capacity because it's the job, right? It's more difficult when you bring it closer and closer and closer to your heart to home. Right now, I'm saying no to my friends.


09;10;10;24 - 09;09;58;18

Jon

Now I'm saying or now I'm saying no to friends, period. But as a friend, right? That's going to hurt. That's right. That's going to redefine you individual in me. Now I'm saying no to an entire way of life.


09;09;56;24 - 09;09;40;25

Jon

Like, when I left the military, it was because I realized that by the choice I made, I could not be the person I believe I was meant to be. That was a very personal thing. There's many, many, many people who bought jobs and becoming the best version selves and serving beautifully.


09;09;39;16 - 09;09;26;18

Jon

I realized just on some very personal aspects that I wanted to change. So I had to say no to my entire identity and an entire way of life as an adult and professional. You know, that's the type of know I'm talking about.


09;09;26;13 - 09;09;19;02

Jon

That becomes painful. But once you learn to make those names. Man, the other things are easier. Yeah.


09;09;18;23 - 09;09;07;18

Aaron

You're right on in, so if you invert that and say, OK, I'm living out a life giving you my heart and then leaving my son, leaving myself as best as I can, and these are and then it goes out to our.


09;09;07;06 - 09;09;05;10

Rick

Mission business.


09;09;05;10 - 09;09;04;10

Aaron

Calling whatever.


09;09;02;18 - 09;09;00;15

Rick

Then it trickles down into how the how.


09;09;00;15 - 09;08;59;24

Aaron

You do your work.


09;08;58;28 - 09;08;58;19

Rick

You know.


09;08;58;18 - 09;08;55;28

Aaron

What are you living in your ideal workweek? Are you.


09;08;55;21 - 09;08;54;14

Rick

Having your hand in the things that.


09;08;54;14 - 09;08;49;17

Aaron

Only you need to have your hands to? It goes to a responsibility of, you.


09;08;49;17 - 09;08;49;01

Rick

Know, what comes.


09;08;49;01 - 09;08;41;27

Aaron

On my plate weekly every other week, monthly, quarterly, yearly that I need to pay attention to, or I need to help our team for attention to.


09;08;41;08 - 09;08;39;24

Rick

Because we're all anchored to.


09;08;39;24 - 09;08;39;00

Aaron

Values.


09;08;38;29 - 09;08;36;14

Rick

You know, you start with yourself, otherwise you don't.


09;08;36;14 - 09;08;32;26

Aaron

Have a true north and directionless and just the world eats you up.


09;08;32;15 - 09;08;29;24

Rick

When you have any. But when you feel like.


09;08;29;24 - 09;08;29;05

Aaron

You, you.


09;08;29;05 - 09;08;27;21

Rick

Are there, locked in.


09;08;27;21 - 09;08;23;16

Aaron

And you're seeing your own self and you're obviously we're always growing and becoming more aware.


09;08;22;27 - 09;08;22;02

Rick

But then that spills.


09;08;22;02 - 09;08;19;15

Aaron

Over into the intentional way that you and your business.


09;08;19;06 - 09;08;17;29

Rick

And you can read.


09;08;17;15 - 09;08;17;01

Aaron

Stat.


09;08;17;01 - 09;08;05;24

Aaron

After stat about how many people hate where they work and the reasons why they hate, where they work and how they've had a great boss or how they have not so great boss. And you get to infuse culture because.


09;08;05;10 - 09;08;03;26

Rick

The way you're doing businesses.


09;08;03;23 - 09;08;02;00

Aaron

Is anchored to some values as well.


09;08;01;24 - 09;07;56;17

Rick

But as practice with the individual first. A lot of times we want to invert.


09;07;56;17 - 09;07;51;04

Aaron

Those and make nice vision statements and value statements and whether.


09;07;51;03 - 09;07;49;12

Rick

They're inauthentic and the.


09;07;49;12 - 09;07;34;13

Aaron

People who are leading those organizations are inauthentic as well because it's not really shown in their personal lives. Yeah. And so when you are consistent with those places, it speaks volume. Our culture craves vulnerability and authenticity.


09;07;34;02 - 09;07;33;06

Rick

Not for the sake of.


09;07;32;16 - 09;07;22;07

Aaron

Being whiny and victim, but just for the sake of this is what's really going on in our life. And this is where I'm growing, and this is how this is the kind of environment we want to grow and build in our business.


09;07;21;26 - 09;07;06;16

Jon

But there's a big difference between being vulnerable and authentic and being a bit more whiny. Yeah, right. That there's a distinction, right? There's been a number of times, some examples, even in this conversation, just owning their own ability being shot.


09;07;06;12 - 09;06;50;28

Jon

Right. But there is no lack of ownership in it. So that does it, really. I think there's a good distinction there. Anything you keep talking, you know, the lack of giving in, you know, your ideal workweek that kind of brought it to head in my mind is a let's call this out.


09;06;50;15 - 09;06;43;27

Jon

The ideal work week. I'm not hearing you say it means comfortable workweek. It's ideal. Not comfortable.


09;06;43;22 - 09;06;43;00

Rick

It's intentional.


09;06;43;00 - 09;06;30;13

Jon

It's intentional. You know what makes something ideal? Because the first thing I thought of is like, some person is like, Oh, I'm not working. I'm I'm doing more than 40 hours flat. I have to go deal with people.


09;06;30;08 - 09;06;19;24

Jon

You know, it's just like all these whiny discomfort things that are just like foolish excuses. And I just don't want to give them that coupon right now to describe what we're talking about, because I think it's more valuable.


09;06;19;07 - 09;06;17;21

Jon

So let's take that coupon away, can you?


09;06;17;00 - 09;06;15;12

Aaron

Yeah. I think if.


09;06;15;12 - 09;06;12;21

Aaron

Ideal work, we can do.


09;06;12;14 - 09;06;11;01

Rick

A few things and remember, I'm not.


09;06;10;24 - 09;06;07;29

Aaron

Separating personal and professional and combining the two.


09;06;07;24 - 09;06;03;14

Rick

So we would start with life giving what's happening this week?


09;06;03;07 - 09;06;02;00

Aaron

That's life giving for me.


09;06;00;28 - 09;05;59;28

Rick

So I've been talking.


09;05;59;17 - 09;05;57;02

Aaron

With a spiritual mentor once a month.


09;05;56;29 - 09;05;56;05

Rick

And we were.


09;05;56;05 - 09;05;51;17

Aaron

Talking about this because I'm having a epiphany about the difference between an employee and an entrepreneur.


09;05;50;20 - 09;05;48;26

Rick

And how I've mostly.


09;05;48;26 - 09;05;41;20

Aaron

Been an employee all my life and now trying to do the business and build a business through a ministry and build a ministry.


09;05;40;25 - 09;05;36;13

Rick

But in the end, all of this what's life giving to me.


09;05;36;13 - 09;05;35;26

Aaron

Throughout this.


09;05;35;26 - 09;05;33;12

Rick

Week and we talked about.


09;05;33;12 - 09;05;30;17

Aaron

The concept of rest stops, which I'm going to try.


09;05;30;03 - 09;05;28;24

Rick

When I was a kid, or.


09;05;28;23 - 09;05;26;25

Aaron

You look for the next rest stop on a road trip.


09;05;26;16 - 09;05;24;15

Rick

You know one's coming up, you're going to get.


09;05;24;15 - 09;05;20;23

Aaron

Snacks, you use the restroom, run around in the grass.


09;05;20;12 - 09;05;14;14

Aaron

Stretch your legs, needle pile, power the vehicle to the next one. That alone makes them more bearable. Exactly.


09;05;13;27 - 09;05;09;12

Rick

So we're talking about maybe a 30 minute rest stop. Plan that one.


09;05;09;12 - 09;05;07;12

Aaron

Time this week, it's for you.


09;05;06;20 - 09;05;05;12

Rick

And then maybe it can.


09;05;05;12 - 09;05;00;23

Aaron

Grow, so if it's really nice out, we can mountain bike or just go for a walk or whatever.


09;05;00;23 - 09;04;55;04

Rick

But whatever out of that life giving line, there's a room for it. Then think of the 5% my.


09;04;55;03 - 09;04;52;10

Aaron

Honoring, my 5% in my ideal workweek.


09;04;51;20 - 09;04;48;14

Rick

So Laura and I have Friday morning breakfast together.


09;04;48;14 - 09;04;40;04

Aaron

That's one of our constants. My kids are older now, so I have to plan special dates with them versus I'm going to see them right when I come home from work.


09;04;38;20 - 09;04;38;05

Rick

And my meeting.


09;04;38;04 - 09;04;28;19

Aaron

With a friend this week or next week. So you get the idea and then into the professional line, it's like, how do I work for this? Do I get the freedom to design some of that.


09;04;27;14 - 09;04;25;01

Rick

And meetings that I'm a.


09;04;25;01 - 09;04;20;16

Aaron

Part of direct reports, frequency of direct towards responsibilities.


09;04;20;16 - 09;04;20;13

Rick

I.


09;04;20;13 - 09;04;17;29

Aaron

Can't seem to get to, but they really are responsibilities.


09;04;16;25 - 09;04;15;14

Rick

Sometimes just lining.


09;04;15;14 - 09;04;10;24

Aaron

Out those most important, you gain ten to 30% a margin in your week just.


09;04;10;24 - 09;04;09;19

Rick

By doing it differently.<