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1. Intentional Living _ Jonathan Mayo



 

Our first official Podcast! Aaron and Jon set the stage for discussions going forward. This conversation is embedded with motivational nuggets for those mountains you are currently climbing or about to begin trekking. We hope that the extraordinary voices of grit and indomitability through this community will encourage you to persevere through difficulty and pursue the non-negotiable goals that are in your life. Highlights from the discussion include:

  • The ability to change trial and loss into opportunity.

  • The necessity to foster Sisu and build Grit.

  • The power of incremental progress.

  • The power of choosing your friends wisely and shrinking your social circles.

  • The importance of acknowledging who is “watering the lawn”.

  • The importance of parenthood and the responsibilities of fatherhood.

  • The concept that we are products of consistency, whether good or bad.

  • The concept that you can go faster alone but further together.

  • The need to set challenges for ourselves and pursue ambitious goals.

  • The decision to never quit.

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08;06;33;10 - 08;06;27;16

Aaron

Hello, ladies and gents, welcome to another episode of The Grit Theory. We are so glad you found us today.


08;06;27;04 - 08;06;16;14

Jon

This is Jon Mayo with Aaron Robinson, and we are thrilled that you are joining us as we explore how challenging and adversity can be changed into opportunity.


08;06;16;14 - 08;06;10;18

Aaron

And don't forget if you like what you hear today. Please subscribe, share with your friends and we love your comments.


08;06;10;04 - 08;06;06;15

Jon

So without further ado, let's jump right in to another episode of the grit theory.


08;05;58;17 - 08;05;43;11

Aaron

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Grid Theory podcast, my name is Aaron Robinson, your host with Jon Mayo. We are a podcast that is just starting is our first inaugural run. So we're playing with equipment here. Give us grace.


08;05;42;02 - 08;05;14;19

Aaron

We are a podcast that it really explores the grit in each and every one story. Grit is a is an attitude of by which we attack problems. We seek to find those stories, derive meaning from them and apply those apply those philosophies and lessons into our own lives.


08;05;14;19 - 08;04;58;11

Aaron

So being our number one, we thought we'd make ourselves the guinea pigs today. And so, Jon, I wanted to just play with your head for for the next little bit and talk about great, you know, anything about that?


08;04;57;22 - 08;04;52;16

Jon

Well, it's fun because that means I'm just the first in the sheep, right? I'm the first person that we get a torment.


08;04;51;15 - 08;04;50;29

Aaron

That's right.


08;04;50;25 - 08;04;31;01

Jon

No, I'm I'm beyond thrilled for United. Begin this adventure of this podcast together and and I think the joy that's going to come from this, like the the real value, is by showing that there's no success without hard work discipline and an indomitable spirit.


08;04;30;23 - 08;04;30;14

Jon

Right?


08;04;30;05 - 08;04;17;28

Aaron

Yeah, we are. We should we should kind of like give the genesis for the simple little bit, right? So I think so. So, you know, Jon and I are good friends, but more than that, we torment each other.


08;04;17;28 - 08;03;57;05

Aaron

We've torment each other in our freezing garage gym. You know, we start very early in the morning before we start, but we have day jobs. We have large families. We have a lot going on. And really, frankly, a lot of excuses not to do a podcast, not to get up and do work and those kind of things


08;03;56;20 - 08;03;38;12

Aaron

. So we need those constant motivations like we're almost talking ourselves out of being lazy every day. I feel like in the gym, like giving us like anti excuses for why is it that we're subjecting ourselves to uncomfortable things all the time and beyond?


08;03;38;12 - 08;03;23;24

Aaron

It's not just, you know, working out in the gym, and nobody really loves working out until you do it enough and you start to see the value of it. But also inside of that, I feel like we're kind of thinking beyond is like, well, what?


08;03;23;16 - 08;03;14;23

Aaron

This informs other areas of our life, and I feel like we've had some pretty incredible discussions off air that I wish we would have captured.


08;03;14;14 - 08;02;58;20

Jon

Yeah, I I think the workout is for the physical benefits, maybe 20% of the pie, right? Like when you and I are going out chasing that one degree because it's one degree Fahrenheit, right? Like real, real temperature. And we're like, Let's go find that sucker.


08;02;58;18 - 08;02;41;09

Jon

You know, like, there's nothing truly great about that physically but mentally in relationally, it's powerful. And I think that what we do when we get a workout together of when we get to do ventures like this together is we're gaining territory on excuses.


08;02;41;04 - 08;02;24;14

Jon

Right, we're taking. A year ago, working out was not really an option and now working out consistently. In addition to working out consistently together, we're having conversations that have led to us doing this podcast. And you mentioned Grace earlier.


08;02;24;14 - 08;02;16;00

Jon

Yeah, we're going to need that. We're figuring out. It took us like an hour and a half to figure out how to put these mics in the headphones. So I can't wait to see what Episode 100 looks like.


08;02;16;00 - 08;02;03;10

Jon

We were like set up. Good to go. But to your point, we're not just building our bodies and hurting each other in the gym. That's that's such a small piece of it. What we're doing is we're calling out higher ideals for ourselves and one another, right?


08;02;03;07 - 08;01;44;27

Jon

And that is what's motivating us to say, Hey, let's sacrifice a hours on Saturday. Star podcast. Let's pursue the big projects, the business ventures and the excellence in our fields and industries. How are we better husbands, fathers, friends, you know?


08;01;44;21 - 08;01;28;11

Aaron

Yeah, yeah. Jon Hamm, if I may this last year, I feel like put everybody in this test tube, you know, like, you know, we're coming out of 2019, the COVID, all the stuff and COVID was this great excuse to be lazy.


08;01;27;26 - 08;01;07;08

Aaron

You know, it's like we talk about the COVID 19. I gained all this weight. I've been lazier and bingeing shows, but you kind of doing all the I think the things that we do that are lazy mind takes us to and because it's been social, it's become a norm, you know, for a year, it's like, it's OK


08;01;07;08 - 08;01;02;08

Aaron

. You can stay home, you're not allowed, you can't go. It's code red anyway. You can't go anywhere. It's OK if you're home and stay.


08;01;02;08 - 08;01;01;18

Jon

In your sweats.


08;01;01;14 - 08;01;00;26

Aaron

Stay in the.


08;01;00;26 - 08;00;46;11

Jon

Cheetahs. Yeah, watch. Netflix. Well, it's funny because there's two mentalities right in, yeah, and this is something that I hold central to, my belief is you can choose to be a victim or you can choose to have a hand in the equation yourself.


08;00;46;10 - 08;00;36;18

Jon

Right, the cards you're dealt. And the same to a fact check 2020 COVID 19. You mentioned 2019. So there's someone out there.


08;00;36;17 - 08;00;35;22

Aaron

Did I say 19?


08;00;35;22 - 08;00;32;20

Jon

You say 2019? Wow. And then you said COVID 19 so made sense.


08;00;32;17 - 08;00;30;24

Aaron

Oh OK. Yes, I gotcha.


08;00;30;23 - 08;00;26;27

Jon

There's a dweeb somewhere who's like salivating over that. So we have each other's backs.


08;00;26;21 - 08;00;24;13

Aaron

But okay, I'll have that later. Yeah.


08;00;23;25 - 08;00;07;28

Jon

We just we'll pull that out. But no. Absolutely. There's two things, and one of the things I realized is there's those who run towards fired away from it, right? There's one. He used a bad situation as an excuse in those who use it as an opportunity.


08;00;07;16 - 09;59;51;12

Jon

2020 was one of the greatest opportunities. You know, personally, I moved cross-country again to took on a better role and position professionally started a business, started to couple other ventures. This to be one of them conceptually for us, right?


09;59;51;04 - 09;59;35;00

Jon

It's coming to fruition in 2021. And. That's all mindset shift that anyone's capable of doing. That's great. Right? Oh, this stinks. I just got cancer. Oh, just lost my relationships with someone I love. Someone I care for just died, just got injured, just lost my job.


09;59;34;10 - 09;59;32;10

Jon

Those are all opportunities, right?


09;59;31;02 - 09;59;17;10

Aaron

All right, Brooke. That doesn't sound like the normal. The logical pathway, a a relationship that's breaking a job loss is an opportunity why?


09;59;15;17 - 09;58;59;18

Jon

So I think this is part of a mindset that you develop, right? So Victor Frankl, who was a Jewish doctor from World War two era, survived Nazi internment camps and things like that. He has a lot of beautiful things just on the human will and spirit.


09;58;58;29 - 09;58;44;04

Jon

one of his quotes is that between every stimulus and reaction is a gap. There is a loose quote, but and within that gap is the power and freedom of choice. Right? And you can you can pull on that thread to Jocko Willink.


09;58;43;28 - 09;58;31;16

Jon

Extreme ownership 95% of everything that happens to you is within your control. All right. Your response is within your control for cancer. You choose your response. You wallow and die. Or you live and fight till you die. Right?


09;58;31;11 - 09;58;15;16

Jon

But you get to choose how you're going to live and respond. And to me, it's that mindset shift. So I agree with you. It's it may not be what most people consider normal, but I'd much rather live in the driver's seat of my life of saying, Hey, this terrible thing just happened.


09;58;15;16 - 09;58;03;06

Jon

That's an opportunity. Why? Because maybe I was stuck in a position that was unhealthy, and I didn't have the strength of the foresight to get out of it. But now I'm in this opportunity to be in a much healthier place that can be much more productive and add value to my fellow man and myself.


09;58;03;04 - 09;57;57;05

Jon

Right? You know, I don't have that vision right now, but a few months from now, if I'd used time, well, I may see that right.


09;57;56;18 - 09;57;36;14

Aaron

We'd like to develop that too, because there is a shift. It's it doesn't have to be for the rest of your life. Like, I have to turn on this muscle of grit or discipline. It's something that can be learned if done consistently.


09;57;35;15 - 09;57;17;09

Aaron

Just like eating cheese on the couch or, you know, whatever and guilty pleasure, we've given too much time to too much attention, too. For too long a time in 2020, so many people are guilty of that. And so they're so right now, they're going there.


09;57;17;05 - 09;57;06;25

Aaron

We're all kind of hungry for. Yeah, I I suspect this is not OK to continue this way. Whatever those things are, when.


09;57;06;24 - 09;56;43;14

Jon

Even more, if it creates community, which to the 2020 peace. one thing that's so damaging about 2020, in my opinion, is the isolation, right? Isolation has been devastating and and frankly, I've lost or allowed to drift, not personal pursuit, a lot of relationships, which is another topic, and it shows into very intentionally invest in less than five


09;56;43;02 - 09;56;17;27

Jon

relationships outside of my family. And that has been painful. A harsh adjustment 2020. Both force was a forcing function for that and helped facilitate that. But the fruit of it is now I have. Essentially, distraction free, high value relationships that are born of love and care for one another, right?


09;56;17;21 - 09;56;02;04

Jon

I remove the noise of the distractions of the people who we just weren't good for each other mutually. It's not like I'm on some pedestal, like we weren't a good match, but we're making it work from whatever nostalgia and that kind of goes into the 2020 excuses.


09;56;01;17 - 09;56;01;07

Jon

Right?


09;56;00;08 - 09;55;47;14

Aaron

Let's quantify a couple of things, Jon, because I'm just thinking somebody is listening and then maybe they just want really actionable things or maybe something to inspire them today. So. So you've mentioned a couple of things. So friendships.


09;55;47;07 - 09;55;27;29

Aaron

So one friendships. Why did you pick those five or whatever? You know what? What made it that important? And then also talk to me about some of the disciplines that you've really focused on this year, because I know you have done some things that are new to you, even like that pushed even you as an individual.


09;55;27;14 - 09;55;11;20

Aaron

And, you know, maybe Cameron Hayes, you know, who runs a marathon every day may not be impressed. But Jon from two years ago would be right. Like, we're fighting our own battle here, like beat you and you've done that.


09;55;11;15 - 09;55;06;13

Aaron

So give me give me a couple of those things that you've really pressed into that I took some grit.


09;55;06;02 - 09;54;55;04

Jon

Guess to start with earlier you were saying, you know, it's not something you're always willing to apply. It's a unique skill set, right? If you can change the oil in your car, you change your own car, you need to, right?


09;54;55;03 - 09;54;38;23

Jon

But you know how. So I think that grit or tenacity choosing to not yield to pressure right is just as important as any of the other skill sets you develop emotionally. Right? When the storm comes, can you survive it right?


09;54;38;16 - 09;54;21;21

Jon

It's not always stormy. The storms may be changing variety, right? But that too. To that point, I agree. And we've had a lot of discussion on that, right? It's like, Well, why do we want to run in one degree and then hit a gym where we need gloves to not get frostbite because I'm not, well, mental?


09;54;20;25 - 09;54;04;28

Jon

That's the first thing. I'm not well. But the second thing is when you start your day like that, any challenge we face during the day is already put in the proper context, right? It's like just when you go through or live a life where your job puts you in harm's way and you can lose your life for


09;54;04;28 - 09;53;50;04

Jon

your friends or experienced significant harm. And then you're dealing with, you know, human resources or interpersonal issues like this is peanuts, right? I'm going to go home unless I get hit by bus tonight to my family. You know, nothing my job is going to put me at risk of death.


09;53;49;22 - 09;53;36;09

Jon

And so to me, it's the perspective that comes with great. And to answer your question. Friendships and disciplines. This last year, I stopped the friendships piece. I didn't really select either idea of who I was going to continue journeying with tightly, right?


09;53;34;22 - 09;53;22;23

Jon

By just not clinging. I stopped the fostering of really reaching out intentionally. I have a habit of I kind of have a system where people whom I like to keep in contact with, I don't go more than two to three weeks without contacting them.


09;53;22;14 - 09;53;16;09

Jon

And I've just built this habit, and I just stopped doing that with everyone and watched what happened.


09;53;15;25 - 09;53;13;05

Aaron

And kind of stopped watering the lawn as it were, right?


09;53;13;05 - 09;52;58;10

Jon

I stopped watching the lawn and I saw I saw what survived. What? Yeah, I wasn't just artificially keeping alive, right? And whoever kept it going, I returned fully right. Probably a bit more. And that's through that process of the year.


09;52;58;02 - 09;52;49;25

Jon

People continuously dropped off and dropped off and dropped off. And now it's like I said, so well, in fact, that's probably three people outside of my family.


09;52;49;19 - 09;52;32;21

Aaron

Yeah. So I mean, going into 2021 is, I mean, that's gold right there. Like, you know, if we are self-assess, who are the real friends like maybe defining friendship, and it sounds like one of the defining characteristics is it continues to grow even if I don't water it all the time.


09;52;32;07 - 09;52;16;28

Aaron

And and so all of us have like that great friend we've had years ago, and we pick up the phone and it's like it is the same, which is separate. Yeah, right. Yeah, that's that's a different set of friends, but it's big because it's already gotten to that status.


09;52;16;28 - 09;52;03;03

Aaron

It kind of always will be, you know, but you've you've you've chosen intentional friendships now with those same that same characteristic. It's got to be something that is life giving continually.


09;52;03;03 - 09;51;46;20

Jon

Yet just to use the lawn analogy, it's more like we have a shared lawn. Who else shows up to water it? Oh, OK, right? Because it's like, I'm going to. I just needed to be somewhat of a two sided effort, right to see that the values they're.


09;51;46;19 - 09;51;45;28

Aaron

Both working at.


09;51;45;28 - 09;51;28;05

Jon

Yeah, it's we're both working. And what's interesting is, honestly, I think a lot of people have inadvertently experienced this through 2020 and through the isolation. Who stuck around with you? Yeah, right. And there's probably some pretty clear indications on on the wall of who your true friends are to some capacity.


09;51;27;08 - 09;51;25;25

Jon

More clearly than in 2019.


09;51;25;24 - 09;51;14;11

Aaron

OK. And I see that we're I'm going until I get potential deep dives. Well, let's come back to that in another. Show, but so we got friendship. Give me another thing if yeah. Kind of focused on.


09;51;14;11 - 09;50;57;21

Jon

I think the the disciplines this last year have been evolving. Yes. So some of the decisions have really focused on, well, I'm my partner in our starting business, but our solutions limited, pretty excited about our first product should be coming available to the public in a few months.


09;50;57;21 - 09;50;42;16

Jon

So we'll probably talk about that when we get there. But that sparked a lot of change. I was working on a book before that, and this is just a short back story to lead up to this, right? So working on a book for years, you and I actually started that effort just over three years ago, three years


09;50;42;16 - 09;50;25;27

Jon

and five months, and it's ongoing for both of us. So we have work to do. But I realized I could put into action the things I wanted to write about at that time and started this business have been working on it every single day, so it's not a day missed.


09;50;25;15 - 09;50;09;06

Jon

And that consistency started to fuel other aspects of my life. Right? So I was going to step one, a big step one and then step two as far as like going from good to great on discipline because I think I was fairly consistent before on pursuing goals and things like that.


09;50;08;12 - 09;49;56;28

Jon

But I started doing daily challenges with fitness. I've realized I've been really hurting from training sessions and stuff in ways that are it's like this is not going to be good 20 years from now. I was training three to five times a week.


09;49;56;27 - 09;49;45;19

Jon

It wasn't enough, so I made up a couple of 21 day challenges. You know, the first one just deadlift it every day. The second one I deadlift over it pressed and ran a five k every day. And now Monday 32.


09;49;45;19 - 09;49;29;09

Jon

I think of a 100 day challenge with a five K run and 10,000 plus pounds lifted per day minimum. And the reason I keep doing that goes back to you and I workout. It's not the workout that does it for me.


09;49;29;08 - 09;49;13;19

Jon

Like, I got three hours of sleep last night. I had a meeting for sure. Solutions start at 10:00 p.m. because my partners in Germany, it went until two. 30 5:00 a.m. I went to bed about 50 years ago, like seven or something, just like three hours and change, and I hit the road running.


09;49;13;19 - 09;49;11;09

Jon

I was miserable. I felt broken this morning, but.


09;49;10;26 - 09;49;08;15

Aaron

And it's like windy and cold.


09;49;08;06 - 09;49;07;09

Jon

Just yeah.


09;49;07;07 - 09;49;05;25

Aaron

Just to point that out.


09;49;05;25 - 09;48;51;25

Jon

Comparatively, 34 degrees feels warm, but it was windy. But but the the value of it doesn't come from the fact I run this morning. I'd much rather take it off, but mentally it prepped us. Prep me for this conversation.


09;48;51;15 - 09;48;38;20

Jon

You know, it shaped my day of, Hey, I'm going to show up. Do I really need to do for ventures? Do I need you for my family? And do I need you, period? And that's where the value of no matter what I'm feeling, I'm going to show up and do it.


09;48;38;10 - 09;48;29;26

Jon

And it starts with that very primal urge not to go into the cold and dark in the morning, but to do it anyways, right? You know.


09;48;29;16 - 09;48;12;15

Aaron

What is it? Where does that come from? I mean, it's sideways snow outside. You know, it's it's, you know, it's going to be uncomfortable, even relatively because even if you've had a cold day like this is exceptionally cold, this will push even my limits.


09;48;12;09 - 09;48;06;26

Aaron

Yeah, what? What's? Pushing you past that barrier.


09;48;04;25 - 09;47;54;02

Jon

So I think that there's an evolution of thought that gets you there, right? And initially, I think it's just that I'm not good like I need to prove to myself, I'm not going to quit. I can do this.


09;47;53;17 - 09;47;41;28

Jon

You know, at this point, for me, when I look outside, it's in the negatives and there's 20 mile per hour winds, and I know that I need to wrap my face or I'll get frostbite and it's going to be brutal.


09;47;40;20 - 09;47;23;29

Jon

It's almost more of rebellion at this point. Yeah, it's like. I'm going to go out and do this. Because I know that those people who drive by during this are going to think I'm not well and I can prove to myself that nothing's going to stop me.


09;47;22;04 - 09;47;08;21

Aaron

Although Jon calls me up and he tells me, Hey, someone stopped today and he was excited about it, like someone stopped because they were genuinely concerned he was in trouble. He's running, he's running in in the countryside, miles away from home.


09;47;08;00 - 09;46;56;05

Aaron

And in those scenarios that probably would have been merited like this guy's probably in order. But you chose to do this like the darkness was that way and you chose to go into it.


09;46;55;27 - 09;46;41;20

Jon

Yeah. And you know, it's not a unique thing I've created, right? I'm just following in the path of I'm staying on the shoulders of giants. Yeah, and people who have like pioneered the consistent discipline wins the way and do something hard every day.


09;46;41;17 - 09;46;41;04

Jon

You know.


09;46;41;02 - 09;46;29;00

Aaron

Joe, you know what? You know, I love Jon, too about this story is that it's a fresh one. Like, you know, I'm just thinking of someone coming in and hopefully this isn't you, but you're going. I could do that.


09;46;29;00 - 09;46;16;04

Aaron

I've done that many times. But is your story old? Like, are you talking about? Are you describing, you know, the pins on your varsity jacket from ten years ago? Or is it is it.


09;46;16;04 - 09;46;15;00

Jon

Like your dad bod?


09;46;14;29 - 09;46;05;20

Aaron

Yeah. You know, I used to do this and that. And, you know, if I'm Kate, generally it's it's pretty cool. I it's good, but it's not like.


09;46;05;20 - 09;46;04;21

Jon

It sounds sexy.


09;46;04;21 - 09;45;56;28

Aaron

Doesn't it? It's it's it's it's pretty cool. I mean, a lot of people will be impressed. Has been a lot of people. Would they like to run marathons? And I kind of like three.


09;45;56;28 - 09;45;55;11

Jon

Miles, loser. Yeah.


09;45;54;29 - 09;45;35;06

Aaron

But you're doing you're doing something that's difficult. And it's and it's every day without stop. Right? That that, I think is the real challenge. It's not the thing you're doing that one day like you're some shooting star. You're not giving yourself an out for 21 day now, 100 day period, right?


09;45;34;14 - 09;45;32;29

Aaron

That's different mentally.


09;45;32;20 - 09;45;17;22

Jon

Yeah. And that is the game here. Like, what is the prize at the end of 100 days? Yeah. Why do that right? It's not to. It does sound cool to say, Oh, 500 K ran right over 30 miles and over £1,000,000 lifted.


09;45;17;17 - 09;44;58;10

Jon

Like, that's neat. No one cares. The gift is that the treasure at the end of this journey is the consistency for 100 days. It didn't matter that. second, it married those injured. It didn't matter that it was terrible outside like atrocious weather with warning signs.


09;44;57;28 - 09;44;52;24

Jon

Nothing stopped me from showing up and pursuing that, which I needed to do.


09;44;52;24 - 09;44;52;16

Aaron

Yep.


09;44;52;02 - 09;44;51;13

Jon

That's a gift.


09;44;51;01 - 09;44;32;18

Aaron

It it's it's the it's kind of the righteous side of the fact like because I think of, you know, the evil side of effect is, you know, cash, I'm fat, I'm out of shape. Well, that was you doing the same thing every single day, right?


09;44;32;16 - 09;44;32;06

Aaron

That's all.


09;44;32;04 - 09;44;31;05

Jon

That's consistency.


09;44;31;04 - 09;44;20;23

Aaron

You just you're just a product of consistency. Like, let's not be surprised when we wake up and all of a sudden we don't like what we see or how we think. Even like, why do I always go this way?


09;44;20;22 - 09;44;05;14

Jon

Well, even worse, it's unintentional consistency, which is a huge part I think of, right? It's intentionality. To demonstrate endowment ability, you must choose to. Yes, when you're punched in the face by life, you have to choose how you're going to respond.


09;44;03;15 - 09;43;48;14

Jon

To go out in the morning is a choice. So it really the genesis. The start of all of this is I'm going to choose to show up and take everything I can to make the world better and to make my life better and to be present.


09;43;48;07 - 09;43;35;29

Jon

Yeah, that and that's even in my mind before any of it. Everything we're talking about, we've intentionally woken up to and chosen. Yet sure, we didn't accidentally get here.


09;43;35;19 - 09;43;18;16

Aaron

No, not at all. You know, you didn't intentionally get here and you're not victim going forward either. And I say things, things not to say to Jon Mayer, you go, I don't have time for that. I don't like that.


09;43;17;28 - 09;43;02;25

Aaron

It's not like that phrase. An odd time for that. Don't say, Well, if I had your situation, I would do that. Don't say that to Jon, either. OK. Got a fan? Yeah, no. No, that's too hard.


09;43;01;17 - 09;42;58;28

Jon

I don't think that's a conversation ender. Yeah.


09;42;58;05 - 09;42;45;21

Aaron

Yeah, or, you know, my blank hurts, you know, he doesn't care, you know, it's a sad time, Jon. And the reason why is because I don't think you want that voice to prevail in your own head.


09;42;44;15 - 09;42;34;01

Jon

Yeah, it's part of the filtration process, right, actually, a friend today reached out with a business opportunity and I touched on them and he's like, Oh, I know it's a huge time commitment. I was like, Yeah, it's not a matter of me not having time.


09;42;34;00 - 09;42;19;10

Jon

It's a matter that I choose not to reprioritize any of my time to do this right now because it's not in line with X, Y and Z, right? And we had a really good conversation through. It was, I hope, really encouraging for him.


09;42;19;09 - 09;42;07;22

Jon

I'd love to partner with him in the future when it makes sense. But right now, it didn't fit in line with the trajectory I'm working towards. You know, you, you are.


09;42;06;20 - 09;42;00;10

Aaron

You're an intentional person. I think that's the filter. You hear everything through.


09;41;59;16 - 09;41;58;26

Jon

Its choice.


09;41;58;26 - 09;41;55;29

Aaron

Is this is this lining up is what I'm trying to accomplish right.


09;41;55;29 - 09;41;44;09

Jon

Now. Yeah, it's not even a matter of strength. They're like, you could have fun with this big, dopey week, you know, but it's not that it's like, I don't have time would say quite too. I don't want to reprioritize time to do that.


09;41;44;07 - 09;41;27;05

Jon

Right, right. That's too hard. Well, let's explore that and figure out where we can find our starting place. I don't remember your other, your other of the three that you said, Oh, this hurts. Well, let's scale what we're doing then to help us recover through it.


09;41;27;03 - 09;41;19;19

Jon

Right? It's not, Oh, let's do the same thing and break ourselves. It's OK. That hurts. Good to know. Let's change our plan. Yep. Adapt and overcome.


09;41;19;06 - 09;41;07;06

Aaron

Yeah, we're in the gym. And by the way, this is in the gym. You don't brag in the gym, you're in the gym because you workout and you get it. You need you stronger, right? And so what I do?


09;41;06;21 - 09;40;58;27

Aaron

So I let different weight than you. But the expectations are the same. We both have to have the same amount of effort. Yeah.


09;40;58;13 - 09;40;56;15

Jon

That proportional effort is right.


09;40;56;10 - 09;40;38;28

Aaron

Jon, this would I lift in certain things? He's not working hard, right? So he needs to know where he's at the bar he's trying to hit and everybody listening right now has a bar like your consistent behavior may be that you got to set the alarm for six, 30 every morning or whatever that is.


09;40;38;22 - 09;40;32;22

Aaron

And because you've been sleeping until nine, you know that's what you got to start working on, you know?


09;40;32;14 - 09;40;30;29

Jon

Yeah, if that's your starting place, absolutely.


09;40;30;20 - 09;40;18;06

Aaron

And that's there's there's no shame in that. Like, that's, you know, that's not a struggle for a lot of people in other way, passer, but it's it's something that builds on the next thing that does on the next thing, right?


09;40;17;22 - 09;39;52;18

Jon

one, I think it starts with. Pursuing your ideal right, we are at least me as a person, I will pursue something I want with ten times the effort of anything else. Yep. So being very careful to define what I want and to put it in terms I cannot negotiate past is probably one of the greatest common denominators


09;39;52;18 - 09;39;27;14

Jon

on showing discipline or focus elsewhere. Right? I love. I love adult beverages. Tasty beverages, right? I enjoy them. I am continuously reassessing my relationship with them in relationship to what I want to accomplish because there's things I want to do that are so much more valuable to me than having a relaxed day with some beverages.


09;39;27;12 - 09;39;08;04

Jon

Right, right. So I'm very intentional when I allow it and I have four little humans, right, who are going into a contested and crazy world after me. And I only have so much time to affect as much positive change as I can to continue to help us all out.


09;39;08;00 - 09;39;07;18

Jon

You know.


09;39;06;22 - 09;38;55;06

Aaron

Today and then you're because, you know, we will have caricatures of our own dad even growing up and we didn't pick up every single thing they did. But you know, we did see them. We watched them right? It's like my dad was.


09;38;55;06 - 09;38;41;06

Aaron

Maybe for some of us, my my dad, he just sat on the couch. Did you know that? And that was his contribution to your, you know, your raising your child rearing years for him was kind of I just showed my kids.


09;38;41;06 - 09;38;28;21

Aaron

I was the boss. I, you know, I made money and that was the contribution that the maybe it's like really selfless hustling. I mean, they're watching, they're watching, like how they exercise, they're watching, how I talk to my wife.


09;38;28;14 - 09;38;27;21

Jon

They're watching everything.


09;38;27;09 - 09;38;19;10

Aaron

They're watching, how I get up in the morning, they they're watching. If I'm getting fired from my job all the time, I mean, there's there's things that should affect us that we need to fight for.


09;38;18;29 - 09;38;13;11

Jon

Yeah. And in two things on that, yeah, because two things really scream at me right off the front. If you had a dad.


09;38;12;23 - 09;38;12;01

Aaron

Right, right.


09;38;11;28 - 09;38;00;16

Jon

Whether they were in the house or not injured like they were in the house and not present or they weren't there, you know, for whatever reason that that the lessons you learn from that person before you still are sought out.


09;38;00;15 - 09;38;00;07

Aaron

Yeah.


09;37;59;10 - 09;37;41;22

Jon

But to me, what that really is is a call. It's a beckoning force of how are you going to change the present future? Right? Because regardless of what, how positive, how negative, how absent the past. It doesn't change the decision you have that I have, you know, that anyone has.


09;37;41;21 - 09;37;26;08

Jon

It's if you have a child and you're not investing in that child and you're not shaping your life around helping to develop that child and you're not making yourself better so that they have a role model. Shame on you.


09;37;26;03 - 09;37;25;15

Aaron

That's right.


09;37;25;04 - 09;37;10;11

Jon

Shame on you. Right. Give me I'd love to feel the excuses for dads who are not in the picture or who are not involved in and to. I know that it's your child still, and I am strong. I strongly believe that.


09;37;10;11 - 09;36;57;19

Jon

But I think people need it, especially right now. It's hey, if you decided to do what it takes to have a child and you're not going to be part of that kid's life and raise it and help give it a better life than you've had, yeah, you should be ashamed.


09;36;57;17 - 09;36;52;23

Aaron

You hear you heard it here on the grit theory. Yeah, no excuses. Especially with that.


09;36;52;23 - 09;36;36;08

Jon

Yeah, like, you're not. You're not just some selfish punk anymore by yourself. You know, you have people who desperately need you, and it's going to affect their trajectory and you need them because if you're not involved, they can help save you and help you be like an actual contribution to existence.


09;36;35;28 - 09;36;35;11

Jon

You know.


09;36;35;11 - 09;36;33;09

Aaron

So well to that, to that of.


09;36;33;09 - 09;36;31;28

Jon

A little passionate, but not.


09;36;31;27 - 09;36;18;04

Aaron

Well, and you should, as we should be, you know, there's just too much damage happening right now. I'm not going to allow that. I don't I can't believe anybody that would say that. Like that. It's shameful that kids shouldn't have their parents in their life, you know.


09;36;18;04 - 09;36;14;05

Aaron

Come on. I mean, you know, it's crazy. It's shameful. But anyway.


09;36;12;29 - 09;36;11;19

Jon

That's another rabbit hole we to go down.


09;36;11;18 - 09;35;57;19

Aaron

Yeah. Well, but I think what's underlying what you're saying to that is that there are things that are difficult for everybody. Yeah, it's hard. Like there's a broken relationship and kids all that's really hard to still be in there overnight, desperately.


09;35;57;10 - 09;35;42;05

Aaron

And so you can give yourself in and out and say, I can I'm I'm getting to like when we talked about this like consistent behavior, there's there's like so many voices that give you excuse. And honestly, I've read studies about this to you.


09;35;42;05 - 09;35;25;28

Aaron

Your mind has to have an out because your mind won't rest with. You're absolutely wrong. Now it will rest with. Excuse me. Right? But if you are feeling the pain of this is incorrect, you're going to have to answer it in your head somehow.


09;35;25;23 - 09;35;24;15

Jon

Forced to action you right?


09;35;24;15 - 09;35;04;12

Aaron

And the grit road says. And it's the only voice now let's choose the narrow path, it's like, no, I understand you're tired. I understand yesterday it was difficult. I understand that all the excuses you can say, I'm going to do it anyway, and I do it anyway.


09;35;04;08 - 09;34;44;18

Jon

Well, it's that choice, right? It is. It really comes down to how do I make my excuse pushing into the struggle? Hmm. Like yesterday, great example. I went in, had a pretty productive day with work and a lot of different interactions, and something did not sit right with me in a conversation.


09;34;44;18 - 09;34;31;20

Jon

I had every reason it was a I had made a joke and someone had made a comment and just didn't sit right with me and I could justify and I was justifying. I was testifying. It's fine. Leave it be.


09;34;31;07 - 09;34;18;17

Jon

But he just kept bothering me, so the way I've conditioned myself as well, if it keeps bothering me and I've not been able to silence it. Push into the struggle. So I called the person and I had a conversation about it and I dug through what I needed to dig through.


09;34;18;06 - 09;34;05;15

Jon</